ventalation
so as some may know my grandma passed away on saturday.. the thing that kinda gets to me is that im not upset as much as i think i really should be.. im sad she is gone but its better than having her on life support in hoping that she will recover. even if she did she would be in a rest home for the remander of her life.. but am i not upset b/c im not one to show much emotion, or am i at a point in my maturity or life that im not affected as much as i used to be? am i insensitive to bad things such as death? or maybe its because i was expecting it somewhat...
this past month has been a first for few things.. i dont think i have ever seen grandpa cry... he also isnt one to show much affection.. i had never seen them kiss, untill grandma was in the hospital..
this is the first i have really talked bout how i really feel about all this and i wish i could have been arond there visiting more. i sometimes thought that i was a bad grandkid b/c i never really went out to see them..
and i think more about gramps.. what will he do now to spend his time? for more than 5 years he has basicly cooked, cleaned, did all the shoping, and taking care of her.. he lives in a house that he built and raised my mother and two older siblings.. they lived there in the same house for almost 50 years.. and i hope that he is able to take the lonelyness of the house now.
i guess that after reading this over and thinking about it all, how its going to affect gramps, my family, my cousins, aunts, uncles, and all who knew her and were close, i realize that relationships and the lifestyles of all who are affected by this will change. this is just my thoughts and venting on the matter.
i want everyone who reads this the next time you see or talk to your grandparents to just listen to the old stories they have and how things used to be back when they had to walk thru 5 feet of snow holding a baked potatoe as a hand warmer and that was their lunch as well. those were the golden days and they are slowly dying.. night kids thanks for readin my thoughts.. have a great night and love your family
this past month has been a first for few things.. i dont think i have ever seen grandpa cry... he also isnt one to show much affection.. i had never seen them kiss, untill grandma was in the hospital..
this is the first i have really talked bout how i really feel about all this and i wish i could have been arond there visiting more. i sometimes thought that i was a bad grandkid b/c i never really went out to see them..
and i think more about gramps.. what will he do now to spend his time? for more than 5 years he has basicly cooked, cleaned, did all the shoping, and taking care of her.. he lives in a house that he built and raised my mother and two older siblings.. they lived there in the same house for almost 50 years.. and i hope that he is able to take the lonelyness of the house now.
i guess that after reading this over and thinking about it all, how its going to affect gramps, my family, my cousins, aunts, uncles, and all who knew her and were close, i realize that relationships and the lifestyles of all who are affected by this will change. this is just my thoughts and venting on the matter.
i want everyone who reads this the next time you see or talk to your grandparents to just listen to the old stories they have and how things used to be back when they had to walk thru 5 feet of snow holding a baked potatoe as a hand warmer and that was their lunch as well. those were the golden days and they are slowly dying.. night kids thanks for readin my thoughts.. have a great night and love your family