I'm sorry but I need this right now.

[brevasievol]

I don't know why I've gotten so jaded lately. I haven't been myself in a long time. I think I'm scared of getting hurt again. I see myself being an asshole and part of me wants to care about people but I'm just so fucking sick of everyone and their problems. I'm sick of being an emotional punching bag to everyone I know. Lecture me on how much of a slut, retard, alcoholic and drug addict that I am. Because I have no idea! Lately I only care about getting laid and fucked up. I feel like I'm protecting myself that way. And as vulnerable as I may seem, I'm protecting my feelings that way. I have a really negative view of human beings and I try my hardest to not let depressed people bring me down anymore. I may seem like a bitch sometimes but it's only because I feel like I'm gonna lose it. I feel like I need to clone my personality and put it into another human being because that is the only way I will ever be vulnerable again. I'm so fucking sick of people and their pathetic relationships. Cry and wallow and be fucking pathetic. Monogamy does not work at our age. Sarah he's just not that into you so shut the fuck up. No longer will I associate sex with love. Sex is something you need, like food or shelter. It's a mechanical act that releases serotonin and endorphins and makes you feel good almost like you've just been on a roller coaster or thrown up after feeling really sick. An orgasm is a release. When love is mixed in with sex it causes catastrophic problems. Like a speedball, it's a draw of whether or not you will feel ecstatic or deathly ill. I choose not to be addicted to the drug that is love.

Now that I got that out... who wants to eat some shrooms?