Its Like Friendly Fire, Except Naked, 1/1, Cougar/Jensen
Title: Its Like Friendly Fire, Except Naked.
Author: Brevanna03
Pairing: Cougar/Jensen
Rating: PG-ish
Warnings: Slash, swearing, almost lethal amounts of fluff.
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Jensen is kind of the most emotionally messed up person in the universe, Cougar apparently likes that in a guy.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Losers, if I did Jensen would be showing the angle of his dangle a lot more often.
A/N: Hope you guys like, if you do I may have a Losers superhero AU on the way :)
Its Like Friendly Fire, Except Naked.
Jensen doesn't exactly fret.
Never has, not even when he was little and his parents always fought and his father walked out, he just assumed everything would eventually work out, he doesn't actually think it's possible to worry that often and not have your brain melt into sticky goo. Alright so he's not *that* many steps above sticky goo, truth be told he's kind of emotionally fucked, fretting would probably be healthier than what he's got going actually. Is fretting bad for your health? It probably is, his mom frets a lot and she has fucktons of wrinkles.
His worries just kind of lurk in the back of his mind, like a serial killer stalking a hot chick, not being seen until suddenly *WHAM*! He straight up murders her. Then Jensen explodes in what is actually a terrible metaphor for whats about to happen. It's not his fault, he's much better with similes.
~
Sex with Cougar is pretty much the best thing ever, like he's one-hundred percent sure that if it were possible, (which it's not, Cougar would be lost without snipering bad guys, and without them around to watch his ass Pooch would *die*, like he wouldn't have the slightest chance. Seriously) he would give up everything, sleeping, his job, tacos, just so Cougar could fuck his brains out twenty four seven.
The sex is phenomenal, is what I'm saying. So normally afterwards they just lay there in silence (Jensen's definition of silence, which means he talks about how purple popsicles are obviously far superior to all other popsicles, while Cougar lays there happily ignoring him) for a while, leaving the important conversations for another time (or never, he likes never). Unfortunately his brain doesn't seem to be up to date with this plan and chooses this moment to explode.
Horribly, horribly explode. Word vomit is a debilitating disease and should be known world wide as such.
"Okay so the thing is." Jensen says suddenly as though they had been in the middle of a conversation. "I'm very confused about things, confusing things, and stuff. Important things! And stuff! I've been spazzing internally for forever, by which I obviously mean the last minute and a half, since I just though of this, and I need to ask 'cause if I don't I'm going to be all "Ahhh" for the rest of my life, so this is me asking: What is this Cougar?!" Jensen asks in a breathless rush, looking up at Cougar from his cuddly position beside the other man.
Cougar raises a questioning eyebrow. Jensen sighs deeply, he hates explaining, it would be awesome if Cougar could read minds, except not because then he would hear what he thinks when Aisha bends down. It's not his fault, her ass is rocking.
"You know, what is this-" Jensen makes flaily (and strangely sexual) hand motions. "Our relationship! Is it like midnight horse rides and sharing cotton candy or two dudes just doing the horizontal hump?"
Cougar stares at the ceiling for a long moment, before he turns to Jensen and asks solemnly. "The "horizontal hump?"
"I forgot what its supposed to be called, okay?! But that is soooo not the point." Pooch would totally know what he's talking about, if he were smart he'd be fucking him. "Are we friendly fucking or love fucking? I need to know Cougs."
Cougar leans down and kisses him, parting Jensens lips and sneaking in his swift tongue. The he shifts back and says "Must you know now?" Which Jensen (being fluent in Cougar) knows actually means "Shut the hell up and let me enjoy my post orgasm glow."
But Jensen is Jensen and never actually learned to shut up when he should. "Yeah I kind of do, if I don't find out now I think I might actually explode. See I think we're dating, but I don't *know* and it's driving me crazy. Are we dating? Because we have sex all the time, and we cuddle! People who are friendly fucking don't cuddle afterwards. At least I don't think so, there's a good chance I completely made that phrase up. It's a good phrase though, do you think I should have it patented?"
"Yes." Cougar says, then smiles at him in that barely there Cougary way that Jensen loves.
"Really? Cause I'm like eighty percent sure that was a joke. Can you have phrases patented? I think you can, I know very little about patents-"
Cougar cuts him off and says, "Yes, we are dating." Jensen feels the "you dumbass" is implied.
"Oh." Jensen grins. "Awesome." And that should be the end of it, but Jensen brain is an asshole who loves to ruin his life. "But if we're dating shouldn't we be more coupley, you know? Like all we do is have sex, which is mind blowing, by the way, but we can't build a relationship on that! I mean, god, we've known each other for a *long* time, but you still don't know anything about me."
Cougars hand is gentle on the back of his neck, stroking the soft hairs there as Jensen stares at him with his best puppy dog eyes, he loves his puppy dog eyes, they're the reason he never once got detention at school. "Tell me." Cougar murmurs finally.
Jensen grins. "Really?" Cougar nods. "Umm okay, well, my favorite colors pink, I hate clowns with a fiery passion of a whole bunch of fiery things. I'm scared of eating bananas in front of my mom because I'm worried she'll figure out that I like guys, I really should tell her one of these days. Okay what else, OH when I was seven all I wanted for Christmas was a pony, we were middle class and didn't even have a stable, but I was dead set. My sister made fun of me for ages, she asked for a dirt bike, that bitch. Anyway, that Christmas my mom gave me a my little fucking pony, I almost cried, okay I did cry, it was a very emotional time for me. What else? I got hit by a car on my way to the hospital when my niece was born, my taxi broke down and I decided to run the last few blocks. Lost story short: I got hit. But hey! I got to the hospital. Albeit in an ambulance, but I got there! The first time I met you I knew I would die if we didn't have sex. And well I think I'm going to have to stop now or I'll go on forever. Now it's you turn!"
Cougar shakes his head and kisses Jensen, nipping at his bottom lip in a way that drives him crazy. Jensen hooks a leg around Cougar, pulling himself up so he's straddling the other mans hips, rocking in a way that makes them both moan into the others mouth.
He winds his fingers in Jensen's hair, deepening the kiss even further. After a few minutes Jensen pulls away, panting slightly and painfully hard. "It's your turn, Cougs."
Cougar looks at him with dark brown eyes that make Jensen feel all tingly. "I love you, that's all you need to know."
Jensen stares at him for a long moment, before his face breaks into a giant smile. Then he kisses Cougar, one hand running across the mans chest, the other cupping his jaw. They carry on making out like they're horny fifteen year olds, until Jensen actually has to break away to breath.
Cougar, who may actually be an android, Jensen has a whole theory about that, doesn't seem to need oxygen as he takes the space between them as an opportunity to suck and kiss his way up Jensen's neck.
Jensen gives a contented sigh and nuzzles Cougar, just a little. Then he jumps suddenly, his elbow hits the end table, but he's so into the moment that he barely notices. "OH MY GOD I forgot! I love you too! Of course I do."
Instead of answering, Cougar just gives a breathy laugh against Jensens throat that actually gives him chills. And nuzzles him, just a little.
Jensen grins and lays down, lazily kissing Cougar, their bodies pressed together in a way that makes Jensen feel like he's on fire.
Oh. So this is why he isn't fucking Pooch.
Author: Brevanna03
Pairing: Cougar/Jensen
Rating: PG-ish
Warnings: Slash, swearing, almost lethal amounts of fluff.
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Jensen is kind of the most emotionally messed up person in the universe, Cougar apparently likes that in a guy.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Losers, if I did Jensen would be showing the angle of his dangle a lot more often.
A/N: Hope you guys like, if you do I may have a Losers superhero AU on the way :)
Its Like Friendly Fire, Except Naked.
Jensen doesn't exactly fret.
Never has, not even when he was little and his parents always fought and his father walked out, he just assumed everything would eventually work out, he doesn't actually think it's possible to worry that often and not have your brain melt into sticky goo. Alright so he's not *that* many steps above sticky goo, truth be told he's kind of emotionally fucked, fretting would probably be healthier than what he's got going actually. Is fretting bad for your health? It probably is, his mom frets a lot and she has fucktons of wrinkles.
His worries just kind of lurk in the back of his mind, like a serial killer stalking a hot chick, not being seen until suddenly *WHAM*! He straight up murders her. Then Jensen explodes in what is actually a terrible metaphor for whats about to happen. It's not his fault, he's much better with similes.
~
Sex with Cougar is pretty much the best thing ever, like he's one-hundred percent sure that if it were possible, (which it's not, Cougar would be lost without snipering bad guys, and without them around to watch his ass Pooch would *die*, like he wouldn't have the slightest chance. Seriously) he would give up everything, sleeping, his job, tacos, just so Cougar could fuck his brains out twenty four seven.
The sex is phenomenal, is what I'm saying. So normally afterwards they just lay there in silence (Jensen's definition of silence, which means he talks about how purple popsicles are obviously far superior to all other popsicles, while Cougar lays there happily ignoring him) for a while, leaving the important conversations for another time (or never, he likes never). Unfortunately his brain doesn't seem to be up to date with this plan and chooses this moment to explode.
Horribly, horribly explode. Word vomit is a debilitating disease and should be known world wide as such.
"Okay so the thing is." Jensen says suddenly as though they had been in the middle of a conversation. "I'm very confused about things, confusing things, and stuff. Important things! And stuff! I've been spazzing internally for forever, by which I obviously mean the last minute and a half, since I just though of this, and I need to ask 'cause if I don't I'm going to be all "Ahhh" for the rest of my life, so this is me asking: What is this Cougar?!" Jensen asks in a breathless rush, looking up at Cougar from his cuddly position beside the other man.
Cougar raises a questioning eyebrow. Jensen sighs deeply, he hates explaining, it would be awesome if Cougar could read minds, except not because then he would hear what he thinks when Aisha bends down. It's not his fault, her ass is rocking.
"You know, what is this-" Jensen makes flaily (and strangely sexual) hand motions. "Our relationship! Is it like midnight horse rides and sharing cotton candy or two dudes just doing the horizontal hump?"
Cougar stares at the ceiling for a long moment, before he turns to Jensen and asks solemnly. "The "horizontal hump?"
"I forgot what its supposed to be called, okay?! But that is soooo not the point." Pooch would totally know what he's talking about, if he were smart he'd be fucking him. "Are we friendly fucking or love fucking? I need to know Cougs."
Cougar leans down and kisses him, parting Jensens lips and sneaking in his swift tongue. The he shifts back and says "Must you know now?" Which Jensen (being fluent in Cougar) knows actually means "Shut the hell up and let me enjoy my post orgasm glow."
But Jensen is Jensen and never actually learned to shut up when he should. "Yeah I kind of do, if I don't find out now I think I might actually explode. See I think we're dating, but I don't *know* and it's driving me crazy. Are we dating? Because we have sex all the time, and we cuddle! People who are friendly fucking don't cuddle afterwards. At least I don't think so, there's a good chance I completely made that phrase up. It's a good phrase though, do you think I should have it patented?"
"Yes." Cougar says, then smiles at him in that barely there Cougary way that Jensen loves.
"Really? Cause I'm like eighty percent sure that was a joke. Can you have phrases patented? I think you can, I know very little about patents-"
Cougar cuts him off and says, "Yes, we are dating." Jensen feels the "you dumbass" is implied.
"Oh." Jensen grins. "Awesome." And that should be the end of it, but Jensen brain is an asshole who loves to ruin his life. "But if we're dating shouldn't we be more coupley, you know? Like all we do is have sex, which is mind blowing, by the way, but we can't build a relationship on that! I mean, god, we've known each other for a *long* time, but you still don't know anything about me."
Cougars hand is gentle on the back of his neck, stroking the soft hairs there as Jensen stares at him with his best puppy dog eyes, he loves his puppy dog eyes, they're the reason he never once got detention at school. "Tell me." Cougar murmurs finally.
Jensen grins. "Really?" Cougar nods. "Umm okay, well, my favorite colors pink, I hate clowns with a fiery passion of a whole bunch of fiery things. I'm scared of eating bananas in front of my mom because I'm worried she'll figure out that I like guys, I really should tell her one of these days. Okay what else, OH when I was seven all I wanted for Christmas was a pony, we were middle class and didn't even have a stable, but I was dead set. My sister made fun of me for ages, she asked for a dirt bike, that bitch. Anyway, that Christmas my mom gave me a my little fucking pony, I almost cried, okay I did cry, it was a very emotional time for me. What else? I got hit by a car on my way to the hospital when my niece was born, my taxi broke down and I decided to run the last few blocks. Lost story short: I got hit. But hey! I got to the hospital. Albeit in an ambulance, but I got there! The first time I met you I knew I would die if we didn't have sex. And well I think I'm going to have to stop now or I'll go on forever. Now it's you turn!"
Cougar shakes his head and kisses Jensen, nipping at his bottom lip in a way that drives him crazy. Jensen hooks a leg around Cougar, pulling himself up so he's straddling the other mans hips, rocking in a way that makes them both moan into the others mouth.
He winds his fingers in Jensen's hair, deepening the kiss even further. After a few minutes Jensen pulls away, panting slightly and painfully hard. "It's your turn, Cougs."
Cougar looks at him with dark brown eyes that make Jensen feel all tingly. "I love you, that's all you need to know."
Jensen stares at him for a long moment, before his face breaks into a giant smile. Then he kisses Cougar, one hand running across the mans chest, the other cupping his jaw. They carry on making out like they're horny fifteen year olds, until Jensen actually has to break away to breath.
Cougar, who may actually be an android, Jensen has a whole theory about that, doesn't seem to need oxygen as he takes the space between them as an opportunity to suck and kiss his way up Jensen's neck.
Jensen gives a contented sigh and nuzzles Cougar, just a little. Then he jumps suddenly, his elbow hits the end table, but he's so into the moment that he barely notices. "OH MY GOD I forgot! I love you too! Of course I do."
Instead of answering, Cougar just gives a breathy laugh against Jensens throat that actually gives him chills. And nuzzles him, just a little.
Jensen grins and lays down, lazily kissing Cougar, their bodies pressed together in a way that makes Jensen feel like he's on fire.
Oh. So this is why he isn't fucking Pooch.