hihihihi
Dear diary,
OMG being on the road is soooo fun! Especially when we win! Deivi and Petey each had FIVE HITS! So after Petey was done getting interviewed he hopped up on a bench and pumped his fist and yelled "I BUY DRINKS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!" Deivi just laughed and said he wasn't buying drinks for anyone. So anyway we went to this bar down the street from the hotel and well... Nieks got drunk in record time, on account of his 0-5 and Linden's constant taunting about said 0-5. Noah and I had to drag him back here after he almost got in two fights with some random old men. We'd only been there for 45 minutes! How can someone Lance's size get drunk so fast? Apparently it is possible. Probably because Ty kept ordering him shots and Nieks is too macho to say no. It was kind of cruel of Ty if you ask me, but those two are always doing stupid things like that.
But yeah I don't really care that we had to leave the bar early because it seems like we've all been hanging out in bars for this entire roadtrip. Don't get me wrong, it's all really fun and usually drinking is necessary to withstand the mental trauma of being a Giant, but after a while you can't smell anything but cheap cologne/perfume and stale BO. You know, the bar smell. And sometimes it gets tiresome because gross groupies who look like prostitutes are always coming up all, "OHMAHGAWD AREN'T YOU NOAH LOWRY? I've seen you on TV! What's that cute mark on your eye? It's soooo cuuuute!" Blah blah. They don't even ask about me. Not that I'm jealous or anything. It's probably because they know I'm married to a really hot girl right? And they're not attractive at all! But anyway, groupies are WAY annoying and they should GO AWAY.
Aaaaannnnyway diary I have to go. Omar is mad because Fonzie won't hang out with him, so I have to take him to Denny's for key lime pie and get him to talk about his emotions. It's weird that Tuck and Grip have advice columns now since I'm the one who is pretty much the team therapist, right diary?
Love,
Brett
OMG being on the road is soooo fun! Especially when we win! Deivi and Petey each had FIVE HITS! So after Petey was done getting interviewed he hopped up on a bench and pumped his fist and yelled "I BUY DRINKS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!" Deivi just laughed and said he wasn't buying drinks for anyone. So anyway we went to this bar down the street from the hotel and well... Nieks got drunk in record time, on account of his 0-5 and Linden's constant taunting about said 0-5. Noah and I had to drag him back here after he almost got in two fights with some random old men. We'd only been there for 45 minutes! How can someone Lance's size get drunk so fast? Apparently it is possible. Probably because Ty kept ordering him shots and Nieks is too macho to say no. It was kind of cruel of Ty if you ask me, but those two are always doing stupid things like that.
But yeah I don't really care that we had to leave the bar early because it seems like we've all been hanging out in bars for this entire roadtrip. Don't get me wrong, it's all really fun and usually drinking is necessary to withstand the mental trauma of being a Giant, but after a while you can't smell anything but cheap cologne/perfume and stale BO. You know, the bar smell. And sometimes it gets tiresome because gross groupies who look like prostitutes are always coming up all, "OHMAHGAWD AREN'T YOU NOAH LOWRY? I've seen you on TV! What's that cute mark on your eye? It's soooo cuuuute!" Blah blah. They don't even ask about me. Not that I'm jealous or anything. It's probably because they know I'm married to a really hot girl right? And they're not attractive at all! But anyway, groupies are WAY annoying and they should GO AWAY.
Aaaaannnnyway diary I have to go. Omar is mad because Fonzie won't hang out with him, so I have to take him to Denny's for key lime pie and get him to talk about his emotions. It's weird that Tuck and Grip have advice columns now since I'm the one who is pretty much the team therapist, right diary?
Love,
Brett