Product Report #1: Pennzoil Motor Oil
I've been using Pennzoil in my vehicles for a very long long time and have always had satisfactory results with it. Until NOW that is! Holy fuck I'm so god-damned pissed off with those cock sucking bastards. Let me just say that I am very displeased with their current product.
In Ratatouille, my 1959 Land Rover, I've always had that slight weepage of oil from the block. You know, that kind of weepage that gives everything under the hood that black coating of what I like to call 'protection'? Well about a year ago Pennzoil decided that the kind of motor oil the world had been using for more than a hundred years just wasn't cutting it. They just had to change the basic role of the stuff from lowly lubricator to new, super high-tech engine cleaner. What they did was put in yet another additive that promised to 'clean 15% of engine sludge'. At the time I thought nothing of it and didn't really make the connection when the engine started to have a slight leak. I just kind of thought that it's a 50 year old engine and it's about time it started to leak.
Fast forward to the present: Now Pennzoil has an additive that cleans an astounding 40% of sludge, or as I like to call it: Engine protecting sludge. That stuff that keeps the seals nice and swollen and filled with gunk? Oh yeah that's the stuff. Well not any more it is, the old engine just started PISSING out oil as soon as I put that garbage in. As it turned out I didn't have time to change it because I was about to leave for a Land Rover rally so I just brought along a drip tray and made the best of it for the whole weekend.
I actually noticed something was wrong with the oil as I was even putting it in. This new Pennzoil is now so watery that it actually sounds like, well... water! It doesn't even look like motor oil, it looks more like Mazola or something. Just absolute garbage that will ruin your motor. In fact all the places where the oil is pissing out it has actually cleaned off fifty years of coating down to the bare shiny metal. It's like I poured dish detergent into my engine. It's just awful.
I made it to and from the rally successfully and was voted The Best Off Road Driver. I actually wasn't the best, there was another guy whom I thought was a better driver than me but I was without a doubt the CRAZIEST driver. I also won a prize for The Best Repair Gone Wrong, which of course was putting in the cock sucking Pennzoil and having a bad leak every time the engine was shut off. I won a survival kit and an impact wrench that plugs into my now unused cigarette lighter of Ol' Smoky. It was a very awesome weekend. But anyhow...
Pennzoil: Do NOT buy this product (or any oil that claims to 'cleanse' your engine...) (Beware of that 40%...)
http://www.pennzoil.com/#/motor-oil/pennzoil-conventional
Anyhow, here's some pics of the rally. Ratatouille is the old one that's painted flesh colour. This is not my gallery so please don't leave any comments there.
https://picasaweb.google.com/111000770276923838802/LandroverCowichanValleyRallyJune112011?authkey=Gv1sRgCJ_Mjqi9s7jr0wE&feat=email
https://picasaweb.google.com/111000770276923838802/VideosOfLandroverRally2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCLasuJmW1o-OigE
... And ever since then Ratatouille has been in dry dock, waiting for me to buy an engine hoist so I can change all the seals and gaskets. Thanks Pennzoil.
In Ratatouille, my 1959 Land Rover, I've always had that slight weepage of oil from the block. You know, that kind of weepage that gives everything under the hood that black coating of what I like to call 'protection'? Well about a year ago Pennzoil decided that the kind of motor oil the world had been using for more than a hundred years just wasn't cutting it. They just had to change the basic role of the stuff from lowly lubricator to new, super high-tech engine cleaner. What they did was put in yet another additive that promised to 'clean 15% of engine sludge'. At the time I thought nothing of it and didn't really make the connection when the engine started to have a slight leak. I just kind of thought that it's a 50 year old engine and it's about time it started to leak.
Fast forward to the present: Now Pennzoil has an additive that cleans an astounding 40% of sludge, or as I like to call it: Engine protecting sludge. That stuff that keeps the seals nice and swollen and filled with gunk? Oh yeah that's the stuff. Well not any more it is, the old engine just started PISSING out oil as soon as I put that garbage in. As it turned out I didn't have time to change it because I was about to leave for a Land Rover rally so I just brought along a drip tray and made the best of it for the whole weekend.
I actually noticed something was wrong with the oil as I was even putting it in. This new Pennzoil is now so watery that it actually sounds like, well... water! It doesn't even look like motor oil, it looks more like Mazola or something. Just absolute garbage that will ruin your motor. In fact all the places where the oil is pissing out it has actually cleaned off fifty years of coating down to the bare shiny metal. It's like I poured dish detergent into my engine. It's just awful.
I made it to and from the rally successfully and was voted The Best Off Road Driver. I actually wasn't the best, there was another guy whom I thought was a better driver than me but I was without a doubt the CRAZIEST driver. I also won a prize for The Best Repair Gone Wrong, which of course was putting in the cock sucking Pennzoil and having a bad leak every time the engine was shut off. I won a survival kit and an impact wrench that plugs into my now unused cigarette lighter of Ol' Smoky. It was a very awesome weekend. But anyhow...
Pennzoil: Do NOT buy this product (or any oil that claims to 'cleanse' your engine...) (Beware of that 40%...)
http://www.pennzoil.com/#/motor-oil/pennzoil-conventional
Anyhow, here's some pics of the rally. Ratatouille is the old one that's painted flesh colour. This is not my gallery so please don't leave any comments there.
https://picasaweb.google.com/111000770276923838802/LandroverCowichanValleyRallyJune112011?authkey=Gv1sRgCJ_Mjqi9s7jr0wE&feat=email
https://picasaweb.google.com/111000770276923838802/VideosOfLandroverRally2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCLasuJmW1o-OigE
... And ever since then Ratatouille has been in dry dock, waiting for me to buy an engine hoist so I can change all the seals and gaskets. Thanks Pennzoil.