(no subject)
so i'm probably safe to just say whatever and know that the only people reading are randos and maybe a stalker or something cool like that....
I'm worried.
It's almost may and I haven't got my Senior Project done. I've decided to travel somewhat extensively whenever I finish with it, but I'm starting to get incredibly nervous now. I'm nowhere near done and, sad to say, I think I'm paralyzed with the fear of my college "education" stealing any more time at the top of my priority list. I am unspeakably frustrated with this situation. It keeps me from doing everything I would truly enjoy doing - traveling, writing music, getting a real job that I might potentially enjoy and be able to support myself with, moving away from San Marcos. My dreams are getting pushed aside so that I can finish college. I know maybe I'm the only person to blame for this situation but my frustration and fear has me unable to make a move.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't gnash my teeth and pace the floor thinking about what the hell I'm going to do. I should be using that time to work on this project, it's so silly and pointless. I could have had this done months ago. I just don't know what my glitch is about it?! I have to get it done, it's all I can think about sometimes. It's the bane of my existence. SERIOUSLY. AH!
Whatever. I had a period of about 2 months this year that were awesome. Everything was going my way and I felt like myself again. It culminated and eventually ended with someone giving me and Felipe a pet duck which fell in a hole and died a couple of days after it arrived.
Stupid duck.
I feel like I'm back into a stupid period of lameness. Maybe I need to switch up the formula here.
I think if I believed in clinical disorders and doctors being able to diagnose things, I might be depressed.
I'm worried.
It's almost may and I haven't got my Senior Project done. I've decided to travel somewhat extensively whenever I finish with it, but I'm starting to get incredibly nervous now. I'm nowhere near done and, sad to say, I think I'm paralyzed with the fear of my college "education" stealing any more time at the top of my priority list. I am unspeakably frustrated with this situation. It keeps me from doing everything I would truly enjoy doing - traveling, writing music, getting a real job that I might potentially enjoy and be able to support myself with, moving away from San Marcos. My dreams are getting pushed aside so that I can finish college. I know maybe I'm the only person to blame for this situation but my frustration and fear has me unable to make a move.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't gnash my teeth and pace the floor thinking about what the hell I'm going to do. I should be using that time to work on this project, it's so silly and pointless. I could have had this done months ago. I just don't know what my glitch is about it?! I have to get it done, it's all I can think about sometimes. It's the bane of my existence. SERIOUSLY. AH!
Whatever. I had a period of about 2 months this year that were awesome. Everything was going my way and I felt like myself again. It culminated and eventually ended with someone giving me and Felipe a pet duck which fell in a hole and died a couple of days after it arrived.
Stupid duck.
I feel like I'm back into a stupid period of lameness. Maybe I need to switch up the formula here.
I think if I believed in clinical disorders and doctors being able to diagnose things, I might be depressed.