irresponsible do nothings
There is a four month old beagle puppy who doesn't belong to me locked in my bathroom right now. She is a refuge seeking solace from her owner, Miles, at my prompting. Allow me to explain.
Miles is a member of the group of people i hang out with here in san marcos. He moved here to live with his older brother about a year ago and has sucked as a roommate ever since. His brother and his brother's roommates were generally annoyed with his laziness and regular need for help paying his bills.
For some reason, when my friends Jared and Elia went to Korea for 4 months, they decided to leave their dog (Amai - female, in heat) at the aforementioned house with Miles' dog (Winston - male, un-neutered, spastic, neglected) in the yard. One thing led to another and soon there were 5 giant puppies which almost led to Amai dying of a calcium deficiency. . .
Long story short, puppies are cute. everyone wants one. So, despite his inability to take care of himself, his bills, his nuisance of a mutt that got us into this whole mess in the first place, my good buddy decided to keep a puppy for himself.
When it came time to move out, no one wanted to live with Miles. Miles disowned Winston and took up residence on my boyfriend's couch for "a couple weeks" with puppy in tow. One of his roommates reluctantly took Winston to the pound.
May he rest in peace.
Some time passed, Miles spent a lot of time on myspace - messaging, checking out scenester chicks with big boobs, God only knows what he really does with his time. He certainly did not look for a house to live in when his previous plans fell through. No, our hero took a different approach to finding a place to live. He didn't drive around, he didn't check craigslist, he didn't look in the classifieds - he simply waited.
He waited, drums stacked on my boyfriends' laundry, puppy tied to a tree in the backyard with an extension cord. He waited sleeping in my boyfriends' bed til 1pm each day when my boyfriend needed to use his room to work.
He even waited after he played his drums too loud on a wednesday night in a residential neighborhood while Felipe (the bf) sat in jail.
Miles waited a whole month until finally his patience paid off. He found that miracle house he'd been dreaming of. It even had a backyard for his beloved pet -and the backyard came with a dog bowl so Miles could simultaneously save $3 and stop pouring dogfood on the back steps for the dog to eat whenever she wanted.
All he had to do now was move in. Simple enough, right?
He moved the dog, left her in the new house with fleas for 2 days and somehow forgot the new luxury of the free dogbowl. In fact, he stopped feeding the dog completely.
All of this doing nothing must have tired Miles. So he decided to rest FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY before moving anything else. Nevermind that it took him all of 1 hour to move the entirety of his possessions the last time around.
Meanwhile, yours truly decided that among other offenses, Miles was guilty on several counts of cruelty to animals. I took the dog one morning on the pretense of taking her for a walk and i bathed the crap out of her until her fleas all died. then i gave her a flea treatment and took her home with me. Miles didn't even notice she was gone. The rest of our friend acknowledged that Miles sucked as a dog owner, and have been helping look after her. Eventually she ended up back with Miles and she pooped on Felipe's floor and he forgot to feed her. Realizing that his friends liked his dog, he started pawning her off on them during the day. He never asked for her back, just took her back when she was around.
Today we had this conversation:
Me: "Has betty eaten today?"
Miles: "hmm, i dont know"
Me: "how do you not know? did you feed her?"
Miles: "No."
Me: "then how would she have eaten?"
Miles: "maybe she ate small animals and bugs."
Me: "...okay, so why didn't you tell anyone when you pawned her off to your friends that she hadn't eaten?"
Miles: "well, i figured my friends would assume i'm a bad dog owner and feed her for me."
Me: "miles, that should probably motivate you to feed the dog and prove to your friends that you aren't a bad owner."
Miles: "....yea sure"
Me: "bye miles
Miles: "bye"
I'm out of witticisms. I'm not allowing that dog to be anywhere near Miles if i can help it. And on a side note, if he spends one more day at my boyfriend's house, i'm going to drag his shit out on the front lawn by myself and lock the front door so he can't get back in.
Does anyone want a dog? I need to find an owner for her before my apartment complex charges me $50 a day for hiding a dog in my room.
Miles is a member of the group of people i hang out with here in san marcos. He moved here to live with his older brother about a year ago and has sucked as a roommate ever since. His brother and his brother's roommates were generally annoyed with his laziness and regular need for help paying his bills.
For some reason, when my friends Jared and Elia went to Korea for 4 months, they decided to leave their dog (Amai - female, in heat) at the aforementioned house with Miles' dog (Winston - male, un-neutered, spastic, neglected) in the yard. One thing led to another and soon there were 5 giant puppies which almost led to Amai dying of a calcium deficiency. . .
Long story short, puppies are cute. everyone wants one. So, despite his inability to take care of himself, his bills, his nuisance of a mutt that got us into this whole mess in the first place, my good buddy decided to keep a puppy for himself.
When it came time to move out, no one wanted to live with Miles. Miles disowned Winston and took up residence on my boyfriend's couch for "a couple weeks" with puppy in tow. One of his roommates reluctantly took Winston to the pound.
May he rest in peace.
Some time passed, Miles spent a lot of time on myspace - messaging, checking out scenester chicks with big boobs, God only knows what he really does with his time. He certainly did not look for a house to live in when his previous plans fell through. No, our hero took a different approach to finding a place to live. He didn't drive around, he didn't check craigslist, he didn't look in the classifieds - he simply waited.
He waited, drums stacked on my boyfriends' laundry, puppy tied to a tree in the backyard with an extension cord. He waited sleeping in my boyfriends' bed til 1pm each day when my boyfriend needed to use his room to work.
He even waited after he played his drums too loud on a wednesday night in a residential neighborhood while Felipe (the bf) sat in jail.
Miles waited a whole month until finally his patience paid off. He found that miracle house he'd been dreaming of. It even had a backyard for his beloved pet -and the backyard came with a dog bowl so Miles could simultaneously save $3 and stop pouring dogfood on the back steps for the dog to eat whenever she wanted.
All he had to do now was move in. Simple enough, right?
He moved the dog, left her in the new house with fleas for 2 days and somehow forgot the new luxury of the free dogbowl. In fact, he stopped feeding the dog completely.
All of this doing nothing must have tired Miles. So he decided to rest FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY before moving anything else. Nevermind that it took him all of 1 hour to move the entirety of his possessions the last time around.
Meanwhile, yours truly decided that among other offenses, Miles was guilty on several counts of cruelty to animals. I took the dog one morning on the pretense of taking her for a walk and i bathed the crap out of her until her fleas all died. then i gave her a flea treatment and took her home with me. Miles didn't even notice she was gone. The rest of our friend acknowledged that Miles sucked as a dog owner, and have been helping look after her. Eventually she ended up back with Miles and she pooped on Felipe's floor and he forgot to feed her. Realizing that his friends liked his dog, he started pawning her off on them during the day. He never asked for her back, just took her back when she was around.
Today we had this conversation:
Me: "Has betty eaten today?"
Miles: "hmm, i dont know"
Me: "how do you not know? did you feed her?"
Miles: "No."
Me: "then how would she have eaten?"
Miles: "maybe she ate small animals and bugs."
Me: "...okay, so why didn't you tell anyone when you pawned her off to your friends that she hadn't eaten?"
Miles: "well, i figured my friends would assume i'm a bad dog owner and feed her for me."
Me: "miles, that should probably motivate you to feed the dog and prove to your friends that you aren't a bad owner."
Miles: "....yea sure"
Me: "bye miles
Miles: "bye"
I'm out of witticisms. I'm not allowing that dog to be anywhere near Miles if i can help it. And on a side note, if he spends one more day at my boyfriend's house, i'm going to drag his shit out on the front lawn by myself and lock the front door so he can't get back in.
Does anyone want a dog? I need to find an owner for her before my apartment complex charges me $50 a day for hiding a dog in my room.