miles away...there's hopeless smiles brighter than mine...
(see if you know that one Whitnay ;) )
Tina Peabody is confused.
Tina Peabody is confused about school.
Tina Peabody is confused about what she wants to do with her life.
Tina Peabody is confused about why her stomach hurts right now
Tina Peabody is confused about men.
Tina Peabody is so gosh darn confused she is writing in the third person.
...and making terrible jokes about it.
I'll tell ya though somewhere between now and second grade I lost my way...don't know how. But I sure as hell thought I knew what I wanted as far as everything then. And then I also thought I knew what I wanted in highschool senior year. AAAAAANNNND then I REALLY thought I knew what I wanted as far as everything is concerned by the end of freshman year. Lord knows now that I had no idea.
Honestly, why is it so hard for me to figure out what I want to do?
Why can't I be like people who just know they want to do something and just go at it with a sense of purpose?
Here's the thing, like I said I have been thinking about the fact that I don't really care to study literature anymore...at least not like I used to. Now, I could try...it would be veeeeeerrrrry hard, but I could try...to complete and International Studies Major with my English if I pull an extra year at Marymount...and take a January and Summer course or two. Is this really what I want? I think so...and I mean I think it would be really great for me if I decide to get into journalism to have that sort of background....but it IS a lot of extra money. And it is time I could be NOT in school for once.
Granted I still want to complete my math and creative writing minor...eh.
And I'd have to miraculously CLEP out of at least 2 sections of a language. Which with my Spanish....I don't know if that'll happen. I guess it could...and I could make it happen. But yeah...
Why do I just want to do everything? Its so silly.
And I try so hard to ride this balance between having a life and becoming an academic slave to books. I don't want to be that person that does not do anything with their life but read and analyze things. I want to live, I want to be able to have a family....I want to have experience
and yet part of me wants to go as far academically as I can...like PHD level. Could I? I don't know, but I would love to try.
And yes I know I could have all the PHD's in the world and not be educated but I'm just not ready to learn all I need to know on my own yet. I love learning in groups with others. I don't want to just sit by myself and read. At least in class there is some social aspect to it.
Eh, whatever.
I don't know what the hell my problem is but I am insane.
I also have the tendency to keep my mouth shut about too many things I know I should speak out about. This is causing me problems lately in certain aspects of my life and if I wasn't such a pussy I would correct it. That is all I have to say about that.
And everything else. As Socrates might say "I am done with you."
Tina Peabody is confused.
Tina Peabody is confused about school.
Tina Peabody is confused about what she wants to do with her life.
Tina Peabody is confused about why her stomach hurts right now
Tina Peabody is confused about men.
Tina Peabody is so gosh darn confused she is writing in the third person.
...and making terrible jokes about it.
I'll tell ya though somewhere between now and second grade I lost my way...don't know how. But I sure as hell thought I knew what I wanted as far as everything then. And then I also thought I knew what I wanted in highschool senior year. AAAAAANNNND then I REALLY thought I knew what I wanted as far as everything is concerned by the end of freshman year. Lord knows now that I had no idea.
Honestly, why is it so hard for me to figure out what I want to do?
Why can't I be like people who just know they want to do something and just go at it with a sense of purpose?
Here's the thing, like I said I have been thinking about the fact that I don't really care to study literature anymore...at least not like I used to. Now, I could try...it would be veeeeeerrrrry hard, but I could try...to complete and International Studies Major with my English if I pull an extra year at Marymount...and take a January and Summer course or two. Is this really what I want? I think so...and I mean I think it would be really great for me if I decide to get into journalism to have that sort of background....but it IS a lot of extra money. And it is time I could be NOT in school for once.
Granted I still want to complete my math and creative writing minor...eh.
And I'd have to miraculously CLEP out of at least 2 sections of a language. Which with my Spanish....I don't know if that'll happen. I guess it could...and I could make it happen. But yeah...
Why do I just want to do everything? Its so silly.
And I try so hard to ride this balance between having a life and becoming an academic slave to books. I don't want to be that person that does not do anything with their life but read and analyze things. I want to live, I want to be able to have a family....I want to have experience
and yet part of me wants to go as far academically as I can...like PHD level. Could I? I don't know, but I would love to try.
And yes I know I could have all the PHD's in the world and not be educated but I'm just not ready to learn all I need to know on my own yet. I love learning in groups with others. I don't want to just sit by myself and read. At least in class there is some social aspect to it.
Eh, whatever.
I don't know what the hell my problem is but I am insane.
I also have the tendency to keep my mouth shut about too many things I know I should speak out about. This is causing me problems lately in certain aspects of my life and if I wasn't such a pussy I would correct it. That is all I have to say about that.
And everything else. As Socrates might say "I am done with you."