If this is the way schools are going, I need to learn how to homeschool in case I have kids!!

[brendala]

So, turns out some teachers are actively trying to keep kids from developing best friend relationships.

Comments

[ichiban_victory]

Well, exactly. Even when I did have friends, I still got picked on. I still remember all too well how kids on the playground would call me 'Diana Diapers' for reasons I still do not know, but regardless I was a target for mockery. Someone who later became a friend didn't like me at first because I could run as fast as he could to the bus at the end of the day, if not faster, so he constantly called me 'bitch'. Having grown up in a home where such words were never used, that hurt me a lot. But through no intervention at all, we soon became good friends. He was my neighbor as well, so often in the summertime we would play at each other's homes. I still remember how he would come up early so we could play some Nintendo before we would catch the bus. I treasure the friendship more than the rivalry that started it.

I think it really is important for kids to learn about friendship all on their own. Disregarding what I said above, around the same time I befriended an enemy (so, about 6th grade), a girl in my class had her leg nearly severed by a weed whacker. (She walked up behind her brother who had been trimming plants and she surprised him, causing him to turn his body. And..yeah, I imagine it was pretty gory.) This happened during the school year so she was essentially an invalid, having to stay indoors and off her leg at all times, which meant no playground. Some of her fellow female classmates, myself included, stuck with her. At first nothing came of it, but her newfound popularity went to her head, and at one point she decided I wasn't good enough for the popular scene, so I was cast aside. You hear stories of girls in Japan being ostracized by fellow female classmates, but it happens elsewhere as I learned. None of the girls, save two fellow unpopulars (they were smart and not afraid to let it show) would associate with me after that. Aside from hanging out with my fellow unpopulars (where one was a friend who rode the bus with me, the other didn't like me because years before a guy we both liked dared give me attention), I didn't really have close friends until about midway through 8th grade.
That was a very painful time to go through, but lessons learned then continue to serve me, as when I encounter women who lack sincerity, who get caught up in the popularity game even now, instantly set off an alarm with me. I'm sure people find it odd when I have such a strong repulsion to such people, but having played that game once, I refuse to go through it again.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, my older sister's ex-husband never experienced bullying at all growing up. He has zero empathy or even understanding for people who do go through such things, even as adults. It was pretty shocking to realize this since he saw nothing wrong with talking smack to his then wife's younger sisters (myself and my other sisters), and not understanding why we would react so negatively to him and not want anything to deal with him later on. All things considered, I'd not want to be in his shoes. He's going to have to learn lessons he missed out on as a kid.

[brendala]

I also had girlfriends who ditched me for the "popular" crowd back in elementary school. We couldn't relate to each other anymore because, around 5th or 6th grade, all they ever wanted to do was read Teen Beat and gush about which boy in class was cutest.
My best friend in elementary school actually stopped talking to me when I teased her about her plans to marry Jonathan Taylor Thomas (the kid actor from Home Improvement). I still can't believe a 3 year friendship ended over that!

When the teasing got really bad in middle school, I had one best friend who kept me sane through it all. I would have gone crazy (or maybe ditched school every day) if I was kept away from her and forced to play nice with the catty girls who were making school miserable. Lots of bullied kids find comfort in bonding with other underdogs.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, my older sister's ex-husband never experienced bullying at all growing up. He has zero empathy or even understanding for people who do go through such things, even as adults. It was pretty shocking to realize this since he saw nothing wrong with talking smack to his then wife's younger sisters (myself and my other sisters), and not understanding why we would react so negatively to him and not want anything to deal with him later on. All things considered, I'd not want to be in his shoes. He's going to have to learn lessons he missed out on as a kid.

Whoa! Even if he never learned empathy, you'd think someone would have at least taught him simple manners! O_o