Exhaustion
This is stolen from my Killoggs jounal, but since I made it members only and I haven't updated here in a while, I figured I'd post it here too.
I am so tired. It could be physical, it could be mental, could be both.
Rehearsals have necessitated me taking my martial arts classes whenever I can throw them in. Today will be my third time in a row this week. I'm taking today off of the gym because I'm just tired and martial arts usually kicks my ass anyway.
I've been trying to schedule my auditions before martial arts and after work. I'm so fucking sick of auditioning. I'm going to just vent for a minute here because it's my journal and I can. I'm aware that this is all stuff I signed up for when I choose this career path, but I think I'm allowed to let it get to me every once in a while and I need to let off some steam.
1. Monolouges fucking suck. They really do. It's hard to find one you enjoy doing, let alone several. Then after you do them a couple times, you have to retire them because A) they loose their spark for you and B) you can't do the same one for the same company more than once. I could go on about monologues, but I need to bitch about some other things too.
2. Auditions are a fucking crap shoot. You could be brilliant and fabulous and they could just want someone blonde or taller or whatever. You never know. You will NEVER know if you just suck or if your monolouge is boring as hell and perhaps it's not working for you or if they just don't have a part for you this time around or what. You will NEVER know. Unless they call you for a callback or cast you in a roll. Then you know you were good.
3. Men have it so much easier. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. A) there are more parts written for men of more ages B) there are fewer men trying to be actors C) of those few men trying to be actors, even fewer are decent actors, I have a theory about why this is, but I'll spare you D) not only are there tons of women trying to be actors, many of them are incredibly talented, again, i'll spare you my theory on this.
4. Agents!! What the fuck is up with this bullshit? I can't figure them out. I CAN'T. There's a girl I know who 'hates theatre' who somehow has 4 agents. I don't FUCKING get how. I really see little substance in her. They must see something that I don't. Or perhaps they don't want substance. I don't know. Perhaps she got lucky.
5. Getting lucky. I feel like I never 'get lucky'.
6. Thank you cards. Necessary bullshit. I was trying to explain to someone today why you send a thank you card (with your headshot picture pasted in one side) to the auditors after you audition. Another chance for them to see your face and read your name. Some people are impressed by the implied polietess. It may not help you, but it won't hurt you. Just another 35 cents per audition.
7. Expense. Headshots. Paper. Ink. Postage. Envelopes. Transportation. Classes. Scripts. Tickets. I could go on.
8. Scmoozing. Someone you took a class from submits your name for an audition with a big theatre company. You go, you rock the audition, you don't get cast of course, but you have to send the guy a thank you. And the auditors. And then you should really go to the guy's play since he's working at that theatre company now. You hope to get invited out for drinks after. Or try to invite him out for drinks and hope other company members come along. Don't overstay your welcome, try to talk to a few people to get your face out there. Look great, be charming, don't drink too much at all, then leave earlier rather than later.
9. Organization. Keep track of which companies' you've auditioned for, what they wanted, what monologues you did for them, when the audition was, who was there, who you sent thank you cards too, how the audition went, who you saw there. Keep track of which plays you've seen for which companies, who was in them, do you want to work with them, when are their generals, should you send in, have you sent in already, did they cast someone instead of you for the roll, what did they have that you didn't, was it physical, was it experience, did they know someone in the company, were the playing the character a different way or was it you, do you just stink.
10. Time. Find time to have a day job, check the ads, research the companies, read the plays, find the monologues, memorize the monologues, work the monologues, schedule the auditions, take the classes, see the plays, send out the shit to agents, companies, individuals, read the reviews, rehearse the parts you're lucky enough to get, research the parts, learn the dialect, internalize the character, externalize the character, and perhaps have a social life as well.
Okay, this was supposed to be an entry about what's up with me lately, but I ended up just going off on the industry. Which is fine. I think I'm better now. I'm going to go home soon. Thanks for listening.
I am so tired. It could be physical, it could be mental, could be both.
Rehearsals have necessitated me taking my martial arts classes whenever I can throw them in. Today will be my third time in a row this week. I'm taking today off of the gym because I'm just tired and martial arts usually kicks my ass anyway.
I've been trying to schedule my auditions before martial arts and after work. I'm so fucking sick of auditioning. I'm going to just vent for a minute here because it's my journal and I can. I'm aware that this is all stuff I signed up for when I choose this career path, but I think I'm allowed to let it get to me every once in a while and I need to let off some steam.
1. Monolouges fucking suck. They really do. It's hard to find one you enjoy doing, let alone several. Then after you do them a couple times, you have to retire them because A) they loose their spark for you and B) you can't do the same one for the same company more than once. I could go on about monologues, but I need to bitch about some other things too.
2. Auditions are a fucking crap shoot. You could be brilliant and fabulous and they could just want someone blonde or taller or whatever. You never know. You will NEVER know if you just suck or if your monolouge is boring as hell and perhaps it's not working for you or if they just don't have a part for you this time around or what. You will NEVER know. Unless they call you for a callback or cast you in a roll. Then you know you were good.
3. Men have it so much easier. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. A) there are more parts written for men of more ages B) there are fewer men trying to be actors C) of those few men trying to be actors, even fewer are decent actors, I have a theory about why this is, but I'll spare you D) not only are there tons of women trying to be actors, many of them are incredibly talented, again, i'll spare you my theory on this.
4. Agents!! What the fuck is up with this bullshit? I can't figure them out. I CAN'T. There's a girl I know who 'hates theatre' who somehow has 4 agents. I don't FUCKING get how. I really see little substance in her. They must see something that I don't. Or perhaps they don't want substance. I don't know. Perhaps she got lucky.
5. Getting lucky. I feel like I never 'get lucky'.
6. Thank you cards. Necessary bullshit. I was trying to explain to someone today why you send a thank you card (with your headshot picture pasted in one side) to the auditors after you audition. Another chance for them to see your face and read your name. Some people are impressed by the implied polietess. It may not help you, but it won't hurt you. Just another 35 cents per audition.
7. Expense. Headshots. Paper. Ink. Postage. Envelopes. Transportation. Classes. Scripts. Tickets. I could go on.
8. Scmoozing. Someone you took a class from submits your name for an audition with a big theatre company. You go, you rock the audition, you don't get cast of course, but you have to send the guy a thank you. And the auditors. And then you should really go to the guy's play since he's working at that theatre company now. You hope to get invited out for drinks after. Or try to invite him out for drinks and hope other company members come along. Don't overstay your welcome, try to talk to a few people to get your face out there. Look great, be charming, don't drink too much at all, then leave earlier rather than later.
9. Organization. Keep track of which companies' you've auditioned for, what they wanted, what monologues you did for them, when the audition was, who was there, who you sent thank you cards too, how the audition went, who you saw there. Keep track of which plays you've seen for which companies, who was in them, do you want to work with them, when are their generals, should you send in, have you sent in already, did they cast someone instead of you for the roll, what did they have that you didn't, was it physical, was it experience, did they know someone in the company, were the playing the character a different way or was it you, do you just stink.
10. Time. Find time to have a day job, check the ads, research the companies, read the plays, find the monologues, memorize the monologues, work the monologues, schedule the auditions, take the classes, see the plays, send out the shit to agents, companies, individuals, read the reviews, rehearse the parts you're lucky enough to get, research the parts, learn the dialect, internalize the character, externalize the character, and perhaps have a social life as well.
Okay, this was supposed to be an entry about what's up with me lately, but I ended up just going off on the industry. Which is fine. I think I'm better now. I'm going to go home soon. Thanks for listening.