(no subject)
"I have encountered terrible smoking people demanding directions from me. They were unsatisfied with my directions."
She stared at the monsters for a moment, unable to quite process what they'd asked. June wasn't sure what unsettled her most about the three creatures - the way they had all spoken at the same time, but not in unison, that they looked cobbled together out of pantomime monsters mixed with nightmares, or that they reeked strongly of charred meat and oozed smoke out of pretty much everywhere. It could have just been the way they looked so out of place standing in front of a coffee shop on a busy city street.
"Miss?" Said the lead monster, the most human-looking of the three by virtue of default alone. "Do you know where 48 Milward Place is?"
"Um." They were large smoking monsters. Should she really be giving them directions? Some poor sod might get killed or eaten (which technically was the same thing) based on what she said. Possibly herself. "Well, um…"
The smallest of the three with the horse's head and the extra arm glared at her. "It's a simple yea or nay question, madam. We're due to perform a scrooging in ten minutes and someone -" here he shot a dirty look at the third member of their group, a faceless cowled monstrosity that somehow managed to give the impression of being embarrassed. " - someone forgot the map."
"Oh. Right, sorry, you just startled me. Which I suppose is good, considering that you're… well, you guys. Milward Place is three blocks nor-"
The cloaked monster gave a slight howl and started to shimmer. Horsehead patted it on the shoulder while the humanoid one gave her a look.
"It would be best if you could avoid specific or Euclidean directions. They make us… uncomfortable."
June stated for a second without commenting. "Um, okay… I could show you directions on my phone, if that would help?"
Horsehead turned one eye on her. June tried not to yelp.
"So, how can I help then?"
The humanoid sighed. "Directions to or from the fey are best passed on in riddle and rhyme."
June paused for a moment to see if the universe would decide to make sense for a change. When it didn't she took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
"Okay, so…
To reach 48 Milward Place,
With sunset to the left you must face.
Travel twice 'cross the tar
That is ruled by the car
Count two score and and eight doors in that place."
The three monsters stared at June in shock. The hooded one finally spoke in a voice that sounded like scratched helium. "That was a limerick! She… you gave us a bloody limerick? What the hell are-"
Horsehead sighed and walked away, gently pulling the shouting hooded monster along.
The humanoid rubbed its forehead and offered June what may have been a smile. "It's traditional for any boon that is done to us be offered recompense, but… well, it was a limerick, so forget it."
With that the monster turned and walked off.
June sighed and continued to wait for her bus.
She stared at the monsters for a moment, unable to quite process what they'd asked. June wasn't sure what unsettled her most about the three creatures - the way they had all spoken at the same time, but not in unison, that they looked cobbled together out of pantomime monsters mixed with nightmares, or that they reeked strongly of charred meat and oozed smoke out of pretty much everywhere. It could have just been the way they looked so out of place standing in front of a coffee shop on a busy city street.
"Miss?" Said the lead monster, the most human-looking of the three by virtue of default alone. "Do you know where 48 Milward Place is?"
"Um." They were large smoking monsters. Should she really be giving them directions? Some poor sod might get killed or eaten (which technically was the same thing) based on what she said. Possibly herself. "Well, um…"
The smallest of the three with the horse's head and the extra arm glared at her. "It's a simple yea or nay question, madam. We're due to perform a scrooging in ten minutes and someone -" here he shot a dirty look at the third member of their group, a faceless cowled monstrosity that somehow managed to give the impression of being embarrassed. " - someone forgot the map."
"Oh. Right, sorry, you just startled me. Which I suppose is good, considering that you're… well, you guys. Milward Place is three blocks nor-"
The cloaked monster gave a slight howl and started to shimmer. Horsehead patted it on the shoulder while the humanoid one gave her a look.
"It would be best if you could avoid specific or Euclidean directions. They make us… uncomfortable."
June stated for a second without commenting. "Um, okay… I could show you directions on my phone, if that would help?"
Horsehead turned one eye on her. June tried not to yelp.
"So, how can I help then?"
The humanoid sighed. "Directions to or from the fey are best passed on in riddle and rhyme."
June paused for a moment to see if the universe would decide to make sense for a change. When it didn't she took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
"Okay, so…
To reach 48 Milward Place,
With sunset to the left you must face.
Travel twice 'cross the tar
That is ruled by the car
Count two score and and eight doors in that place."
The three monsters stared at June in shock. The hooded one finally spoke in a voice that sounded like scratched helium. "That was a limerick! She… you gave us a bloody limerick? What the hell are-"
Horsehead sighed and walked away, gently pulling the shouting hooded monster along.
The humanoid rubbed its forehead and offered June what may have been a smile. "It's traditional for any boon that is done to us be offered recompense, but… well, it was a limerick, so forget it."
With that the monster turned and walked off.
June sighed and continued to wait for her bus.