What now?
Well it turns out that David DID cheat on me... All I can say right now is that I hate him. I love him but yet I hate him and I actually don't know what to feel...I don't know what to do about it I don't know what I am feeling...I am feeling sad, angry, scared, depressed, but above all confussion. I honestly do not know what to do... I mean the sensible thing to do is obviously dump him... that is what my head is telling me to do...Sabrina hes no good for you you don't deserve that, you deserve better, someone who respects you, someone who treats you right (Easier said than done)...but the other part of me, the passionate part is saying... don't dump him, you can't live without him, he probably didn't even do it, it was a mistake, you guys can work through it!!! It's just like the song Without You, by the Dizie Chicks (which I happen to be listening to at the moment) HELP ME LORD!!!! Either way I don't think I can handle it...It just hurt me so much and came as a complete shock to me that I am completely speechless...I don't even think that it has completely hit me yet. I am in complete denial but yet I know it happened, but I basically won't let myself believe it...You know how you see all of those movies and tv shows how the guy cheats on the girl or vis versa and they make it look SO dramatic, it seems so fake and that it doesn't even hurt that much, well in real life it's almost exactly like that. SOMEBODY TELL MY HEAD TO TRY TO TELL MY HEART, THAT I'M BETTER OFF, WITHOUT YOU (sorry meaningful moment in the song) I don't know what to believe. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to think anymore!!! I know that I love him despite that he did that to me...and I do know that I should dump him, but honestly I don't think I can...But if I didn't dump him, I wouldn't be able to trust him again, and I certainly can't keep track of him. This isn't the first time he hurt me either, FLASHBACK: Bailey situation..., but this is completely different. Now we are going out and he should know not to do that to me, he should know how much that he would hurt me, and he should know not to hurt me...KEYWORD: SHOULD, Yea he should know all of that, but he obviously doesn't... Jesus...
Well you are all probably wondering how I found out all of this heartbreaking news...
Well I was talking to Adam Masta on Yahoo and I causally ask him if he knows Heather Glassey (you know the skanky hoe who offered to do stuff with my boyfriend (oh by the way I looked her up in my yearbook from last year and i would just liek to make it clear that she is uglier than my ass and I do hope that she dies in her sleep tonight so I don't have to kill her myself because I am not one for doing that and I honestly think that she is going to hell for being such a SLUT, BITCH, WHORE, HOOCH, AND ANY OTHER HURTFUL WORDS YOU CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF!!!!) well anyways... I ask Adam if he knows Heather Assey or whatever the fuck her name is...and he says yea why...I say oh because I guess that is the girl that David cheated on me with...Well he tells me that about a half an hour before we were talking...David was telling him and PERVERTED Nick Stam about how he did cheat on me with her...Well I immediatly start blowing up (Well DUH) and I was like I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM etc. etc. and Adam was like whoa calm down it might not even be true...I was like umm hello? if hes telling you and Nick about it I don't think that it isn't true...i mean come on...Well Adam claims that he wasn't listening and he doesn't know what happened but I know that is just a bunch of bull shit that he is saying to get his friend out of less trouble...well anyways I was RAGING with anger and bawling my eyes out at the same time...well my mother walks into the room and tells me that her and my dad are going out to a movie they were going to go see Moulin Rouge, when she said that I just started to cry harder...My mom asked me why I was bawling and I told her nevermind...my dad comes in freaking out as normal...and they decide not to go to the movie when I told them I wanted them to go and they should...and then they make me watch Miss Congeniality (which happens to be the BEST movie and I do really want world peace (well after I kill Heather Assye of course)) with them when I really just wanted to finish my convorsation with Adam and cry...but they didn't know why I was crying and they were only trying to be helpful...Anyways after to movie I go to my room and brush my hair (I am such a girl) and I see the picture of me and David and I burst into tears... I have had enough...I need to get out and just stop with guys for awhile...I don't know if I can get out of this one...but this is my plan...I will talk to David casually without him knowing that I know about Heather...then I will make him think he is off the hook and then be like so wh ois Heather Glassey? and I don't know I'll go wtih the flow from there...
WBut enough about David, afterall my world doesn't revolve around him, am not the only one having guy troubles... Katie Zim is in a bit of a mishap here....Adam Masta told people that he liked her well she has been basically obsessing over him for the past two months...(no exaggerating) and he finally likes her...well after a few days he decides that he still likes her but doens't want a girlfriend during the summer...well today he starts going out with Bailey Willson (yes the same Bailey who completely back stabs me with David...) Well she completely used Zim...and I totally saw it coming...I even warned her...but she didn't listen...oh well Bailey gets her way again...sounds like the same spoiled brat that I know and love! WOW SORRY THAT WAS MEAN I AM JUST A TAD BIT ANGRY NOW...BUT YET STILL VERY CONFUSED!!!! Well I'll right back later when I am maybe a little bit more sensible and I surely will write as soon as I talk to David...
~Brina
Well you are all probably wondering how I found out all of this heartbreaking news...
Well I was talking to Adam Masta on Yahoo and I causally ask him if he knows Heather Glassey (you know the skanky hoe who offered to do stuff with my boyfriend (oh by the way I looked her up in my yearbook from last year and i would just liek to make it clear that she is uglier than my ass and I do hope that she dies in her sleep tonight so I don't have to kill her myself because I am not one for doing that and I honestly think that she is going to hell for being such a SLUT, BITCH, WHORE, HOOCH, AND ANY OTHER HURTFUL WORDS YOU CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF!!!!) well anyways... I ask Adam if he knows Heather Assey or whatever the fuck her name is...and he says yea why...I say oh because I guess that is the girl that David cheated on me with...Well he tells me that about a half an hour before we were talking...David was telling him and PERVERTED Nick Stam about how he did cheat on me with her...Well I immediatly start blowing up (Well DUH) and I was like I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM etc. etc. and Adam was like whoa calm down it might not even be true...I was like umm hello? if hes telling you and Nick about it I don't think that it isn't true...i mean come on...Well Adam claims that he wasn't listening and he doesn't know what happened but I know that is just a bunch of bull shit that he is saying to get his friend out of less trouble...well anyways I was RAGING with anger and bawling my eyes out at the same time...well my mother walks into the room and tells me that her and my dad are going out to a movie they were going to go see Moulin Rouge, when she said that I just started to cry harder...My mom asked me why I was bawling and I told her nevermind...my dad comes in freaking out as normal...and they decide not to go to the movie when I told them I wanted them to go and they should...and then they make me watch Miss Congeniality (which happens to be the BEST movie and I do really want world peace (well after I kill Heather Assye of course)) with them when I really just wanted to finish my convorsation with Adam and cry...but they didn't know why I was crying and they were only trying to be helpful...Anyways after to movie I go to my room and brush my hair (I am such a girl) and I see the picture of me and David and I burst into tears... I have had enough...I need to get out and just stop with guys for awhile...I don't know if I can get out of this one...but this is my plan...I will talk to David casually without him knowing that I know about Heather...then I will make him think he is off the hook and then be like so wh ois Heather Glassey? and I don't know I'll go wtih the flow from there...
WBut enough about David, afterall my world doesn't revolve around him, am not the only one having guy troubles... Katie Zim is in a bit of a mishap here....Adam Masta told people that he liked her well she has been basically obsessing over him for the past two months...(no exaggerating) and he finally likes her...well after a few days he decides that he still likes her but doens't want a girlfriend during the summer...well today he starts going out with Bailey Willson (yes the same Bailey who completely back stabs me with David...) Well she completely used Zim...and I totally saw it coming...I even warned her...but she didn't listen...oh well Bailey gets her way again...sounds like the same spoiled brat that I know and love! WOW SORRY THAT WAS MEAN I AM JUST A TAD BIT ANGRY NOW...BUT YET STILL VERY CONFUSED!!!! Well I'll right back later when I am maybe a little bit more sensible and I surely will write as soon as I talk to David...
~Brina