What the HECK am I doing with my life?
Some days you sleep through your alarm only to wake up and find it's humid and gray and you just want to climb back into bed. Other days you are awoken by soft rays of sunlight, and when you step outside it's a beautiful 70 degrees with a light breeze, and you can't imagine sleeping the day away. Today is one of those days. You know, one of those sunny days. It's GORGEOUS outside. February may well have been one of the most disgusting, miserable months as far as weather goes. But the great news? It's March now! I'm out of my rut that was 2005 and COMPLETELY enjoying life. However, this enjoyment leads me to the great question we all spend a lifetime trying to figure out.
Unfortunately, I am no nearer to knowing what I want to do with myself than when I was ten. No, let me correct myself. When I was ten, I knew EXACTLY what I was going to do with my life. Now, things are just complicated.
Ever since my little hand muscles were strong enough to grip a crayon, it was destined that I become a great artist. I spent my childhood coloring (inside the lines, thank you very much) and going from art lesson to art lesson. I was encouraged to pursue this talent. I won awards and got very comfortable with my talent. But I've never liked things that were "easy." I like a good challenge. So, I reached around 12 and decided... wait, I don't want to do this art crap anymore--I want to dance! And my parents let me. It was just a phase. I'd get it out of my system and return to my fate.
And so they were right. I danced and did theater through high school, and aside from considering majoring in Theater for maybe two months tops my senior year in high school, I returned to my comfort zone--what I was good at--art. But not in the fun artistic way--no, my parents wanted me to pick a major that had a future, so I chose Interior Design. And this isn't some angsty thing where I blame my parents for not pursuing my dreams because really, they had my best interest at heart and technically, they were and are correct. What does one do with a Theater degree? Yeah, not much. So here I am in my third year of Interior Design.
And I hate it. No, no, I loathe it. Abhor it. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my years as an Interior Designer.
In January, after being encouraged by a friend, I auditioned for Baton Rouge Little Theater’s Spring Musical, Annie Get Your Gun. Aside from beginning choir in high school, I have no vocal training, so I wasn’t expecting a leading role, but I had my fingers crossed for chorus. As luck would have it, I got cast, and I’ve spent the past month dancing about and singing. Can I tell you, I am having the TIME of my life? I’d forgotten how much I loved dancing, and I’ve always loved singing in my car or in the shower, but singing on stage, that’s a whole ‘nother roll of canoli. Yep, I couldn’t be happier. But as opening night nears, I realize the ride is almost over. The show only runs for 3 weeks, and after that I’ll return to my same old same old routine of work and school.
I guess what I’m getting at, is this is finally something I love. Something I have a passion for. I may not be the best at it, but I’m willing to work on it. I’ve had a lot of people ask if I’ve taken voice lessons and when I say no, they respond that I should. So maybe I do have some talent there. I mean, I’m no Idina Menzel or Kristin Chenoweth (both of whom I worship), but I can match pitch, carry a tune, and I LOVE it.
So now I’m thinking… when I graduate… maybe Interior Design will be my backup. Maybe I’ll go to school again for music and theater. Or maybe… maybe I’ll move to Orlando and audition to be a character at Disney World. I mean, how cool would it be to tell your kids you were Ariel at Disney? I don’t know.
I still have my internship this summer, and maybe afterwards I’ll have a new respect for interior design. But for right now, I’m in love with theater.
Unfortunately, I am no nearer to knowing what I want to do with myself than when I was ten. No, let me correct myself. When I was ten, I knew EXACTLY what I was going to do with my life. Now, things are just complicated.
Ever since my little hand muscles were strong enough to grip a crayon, it was destined that I become a great artist. I spent my childhood coloring (inside the lines, thank you very much) and going from art lesson to art lesson. I was encouraged to pursue this talent. I won awards and got very comfortable with my talent. But I've never liked things that were "easy." I like a good challenge. So, I reached around 12 and decided... wait, I don't want to do this art crap anymore--I want to dance! And my parents let me. It was just a phase. I'd get it out of my system and return to my fate.
And so they were right. I danced and did theater through high school, and aside from considering majoring in Theater for maybe two months tops my senior year in high school, I returned to my comfort zone--what I was good at--art. But not in the fun artistic way--no, my parents wanted me to pick a major that had a future, so I chose Interior Design. And this isn't some angsty thing where I blame my parents for not pursuing my dreams because really, they had my best interest at heart and technically, they were and are correct. What does one do with a Theater degree? Yeah, not much. So here I am in my third year of Interior Design.
And I hate it. No, no, I loathe it. Abhor it. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my years as an Interior Designer.
In January, after being encouraged by a friend, I auditioned for Baton Rouge Little Theater’s Spring Musical, Annie Get Your Gun. Aside from beginning choir in high school, I have no vocal training, so I wasn’t expecting a leading role, but I had my fingers crossed for chorus. As luck would have it, I got cast, and I’ve spent the past month dancing about and singing. Can I tell you, I am having the TIME of my life? I’d forgotten how much I loved dancing, and I’ve always loved singing in my car or in the shower, but singing on stage, that’s a whole ‘nother roll of canoli. Yep, I couldn’t be happier. But as opening night nears, I realize the ride is almost over. The show only runs for 3 weeks, and after that I’ll return to my same old same old routine of work and school.
I guess what I’m getting at, is this is finally something I love. Something I have a passion for. I may not be the best at it, but I’m willing to work on it. I’ve had a lot of people ask if I’ve taken voice lessons and when I say no, they respond that I should. So maybe I do have some talent there. I mean, I’m no Idina Menzel or Kristin Chenoweth (both of whom I worship), but I can match pitch, carry a tune, and I LOVE it.
So now I’m thinking… when I graduate… maybe Interior Design will be my backup. Maybe I’ll go to school again for music and theater. Or maybe… maybe I’ll move to Orlando and audition to be a character at Disney World. I mean, how cool would it be to tell your kids you were Ariel at Disney? I don’t know.
I still have my internship this summer, and maybe afterwards I’ll have a new respect for interior design. But for right now, I’m in love with theater.