I've lived a score, and I'm back for more
Well, as I look back over this past year, I realize that it may possibly have been the most defining year of my life. Mostly because I was presented with pretty common occurrences in life that I had yet to experience in my short 20 years here; I was forced to grow in ways that I probably would not have chosen if given the option. But I don't regret anything; that which does not kill us makes us stronger, right?
I have to admit that the year started out quite well. In fact, it was pretty damn awesome. One word. No, actually, one name. Elijah. Elijah Wood that is. I met him. And for some ridiculous reason, that was the best day of my life. And that makes my life sound pretty pathetic. But really, it's the simple things, and the fact that he lived up to all of my expectations, that in itself made it all worth while.
Then, things went downhill.
My grandmother, my father’s mother, celebrated her 84th birthday on the Ides of March of this year. She had been declining for the past ten years from anemia, alzheimers, and old age. Not to mention after my grandfather’s death 12 years ago, she only had the will to live to see the millennium. Her doctor promised to make that happen. She did, and quite a few more. The last year of her life was a rapid decline, and in May she passed away. My sister and I visited her renovated house, and that was when I realized she was gone. I would never spend the weekend at her house watching Lawrence Welk and dance around. The days of her morning muffins and grapefruit were long gone. Thank God for memories and the years of love she gave.
A month later our family was hit with another blow as my mother’s father, age 93, also passed away. He had no real “cause of death,” though you could attribute it to the pneumonia and epilepsy, but mostly he was tired and he had lived all of his years out. He was my prince charming. My Pepere. One of the kindest men I have ever known and I can only hope that one day I will find a man as good as he was.
While in Boston for my grandfather’s funeral, I got a call from a friend here in Baton Rouge. A mutual friend of ours had suffered a massive heart attack and was in a coma suffering from severe brain damage. She fought hard, but her family decided that she was ready to go. She had been married for a month and had just celebrated her 20th birthday. Her death made me realize how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away. I live my life in honor of the years that she lost, and I often find myself thinking “what would Karla do.”
And then the blow that was not localized to my family but global. Katrina. And though I’ve spoken of it quite a bit in this journal, I feel that I can’t summarize the year without mentioning it. No, my house wasn’t flooded and none of my family was directly affected, but the ripples it created hit close to home. Baton Rouge is forever changed (as are many other cities), and New Orleans won’t even be the same.
In October my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she spent the next few months doing all that she could to fight it. She started chemo and was doing well. She lost her hair, but she had prepared and bought many cute hats to replace her blonde curls. She even joked about how her life was so much easier without the daily routine of washing and styling her hair. After her second treatment though, things weren’t as peachy keen. She went into the hospital on Christmas Eve with a high fever and severe pain. At one a.m., the doctor sent her home, and Christmas day was a Christmas miracle. She was full of energy and life-full of the Christmas spirit. But by the end of the day she was sick again, and by the next night she couldn’t move or speak because of the severe pain and high fever. My dad brought her back to the hospital, and she’s spent the week there regaining her strength and was fortunately able to return home today.
And the last blow of 2005, though I guess there is still one more day, so maybe I shouldn’t jinx it, is that I have to move back to my parents’ house. I’ve decided to take this as a blessing as well-an opportunity to have only one job and save more money; A chance to spend more time with my mom and dad before graduating from college and heading off to pursue my dreams. Basically a friend of mine got held up at gun point at my apartment complex, and my roommate and I have deemed it unsafe to live there anymore. Hopefully we can get out of our lease, but if not, we’ll just break it!
Tomorrow is the last day of 2005, and I find myself wondering what the fates have in store. I know it’s just another day, and the cosmos doesn’t realize that Sunday will be the start of 2006, a fresh new year, but I can’t help looking forward to midnight tomorrow to ring in a new year and the start of a new page--To learn from this year, but not dwell on it. Take it as life. And there’s going to be a lot more life ahead. Some of it I’ll like, and some of it I’ll hate, but I’m glad to have it, and I’ll treasure every minute. So come on 2006, do what you will, I can take it.
p.s. I’m ringing in 2006 from Italy; I figure that’s a pretty good start. So I’ll see you all in 2006. I pray that all those I know and love, here and in the “real world,” have a safe and happy New Year! Back to packing and preparing I go!
I have to admit that the year started out quite well. In fact, it was pretty damn awesome. One word. No, actually, one name. Elijah. Elijah Wood that is. I met him. And for some ridiculous reason, that was the best day of my life. And that makes my life sound pretty pathetic. But really, it's the simple things, and the fact that he lived up to all of my expectations, that in itself made it all worth while.
Then, things went downhill.
My grandmother, my father’s mother, celebrated her 84th birthday on the Ides of March of this year. She had been declining for the past ten years from anemia, alzheimers, and old age. Not to mention after my grandfather’s death 12 years ago, she only had the will to live to see the millennium. Her doctor promised to make that happen. She did, and quite a few more. The last year of her life was a rapid decline, and in May she passed away. My sister and I visited her renovated house, and that was when I realized she was gone. I would never spend the weekend at her house watching Lawrence Welk and dance around. The days of her morning muffins and grapefruit were long gone. Thank God for memories and the years of love she gave.
A month later our family was hit with another blow as my mother’s father, age 93, also passed away. He had no real “cause of death,” though you could attribute it to the pneumonia and epilepsy, but mostly he was tired and he had lived all of his years out. He was my prince charming. My Pepere. One of the kindest men I have ever known and I can only hope that one day I will find a man as good as he was.
While in Boston for my grandfather’s funeral, I got a call from a friend here in Baton Rouge. A mutual friend of ours had suffered a massive heart attack and was in a coma suffering from severe brain damage. She fought hard, but her family decided that she was ready to go. She had been married for a month and had just celebrated her 20th birthday. Her death made me realize how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away. I live my life in honor of the years that she lost, and I often find myself thinking “what would Karla do.”
And then the blow that was not localized to my family but global. Katrina. And though I’ve spoken of it quite a bit in this journal, I feel that I can’t summarize the year without mentioning it. No, my house wasn’t flooded and none of my family was directly affected, but the ripples it created hit close to home. Baton Rouge is forever changed (as are many other cities), and New Orleans won’t even be the same.
In October my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she spent the next few months doing all that she could to fight it. She started chemo and was doing well. She lost her hair, but she had prepared and bought many cute hats to replace her blonde curls. She even joked about how her life was so much easier without the daily routine of washing and styling her hair. After her second treatment though, things weren’t as peachy keen. She went into the hospital on Christmas Eve with a high fever and severe pain. At one a.m., the doctor sent her home, and Christmas day was a Christmas miracle. She was full of energy and life-full of the Christmas spirit. But by the end of the day she was sick again, and by the next night she couldn’t move or speak because of the severe pain and high fever. My dad brought her back to the hospital, and she’s spent the week there regaining her strength and was fortunately able to return home today.
And the last blow of 2005, though I guess there is still one more day, so maybe I shouldn’t jinx it, is that I have to move back to my parents’ house. I’ve decided to take this as a blessing as well-an opportunity to have only one job and save more money; A chance to spend more time with my mom and dad before graduating from college and heading off to pursue my dreams. Basically a friend of mine got held up at gun point at my apartment complex, and my roommate and I have deemed it unsafe to live there anymore. Hopefully we can get out of our lease, but if not, we’ll just break it!
Tomorrow is the last day of 2005, and I find myself wondering what the fates have in store. I know it’s just another day, and the cosmos doesn’t realize that Sunday will be the start of 2006, a fresh new year, but I can’t help looking forward to midnight tomorrow to ring in a new year and the start of a new page--To learn from this year, but not dwell on it. Take it as life. And there’s going to be a lot more life ahead. Some of it I’ll like, and some of it I’ll hate, but I’m glad to have it, and I’ll treasure every minute. So come on 2006, do what you will, I can take it.
p.s. I’m ringing in 2006 from Italy; I figure that’s a pretty good start. So I’ll see you all in 2006. I pray that all those I know and love, here and in the “real world,” have a safe and happy New Year! Back to packing and preparing I go!