(no subject)
shall i recap spring break? oh yes, i think i shall..
spring break has been....exciting, exhausting, sexual, EMOTIONAL, weak, frustrating, beautiful, alcohol-influenced, and profitable.
exciting- the weather cleared out for the first time in forever which served to better my tan..and my overall outlook on florida as a state. i will never have beach days in kansas, i soaked a few moments i know ill later realize i took for granted.
exhausting- i worked about 40 hours this week in HELL HOLE WENDYS. nightmarish occurances with customers, skanky girls in their bathing suits, and a nonstop bing in my right ear "can i take your order please?" all the while watching my boyfriend check out the other hot girls while im sitting in my disgusting wendys outfit, trust me...there is no way to make that shit look sexy. but....i did put in my 2 weeks notice so no more wendys for me!
sexual- i dont know why i included this because i didnt have much sex...but ill just say the sex i had last night compensated for all the lack there of. it. was. amazing.
EMOTIONAL- i write that one in all caps due to the fact that during spring break i dont think ive been so emotional in a lonnngg time. so, here's why. i found out justin's been cheating on me...well, i had all these little clues from anonymous sources, but chose to ignore them. then, the moment i finally realized he was we were sitting on the couch and his cell phone kept ringing...i go "baby, arent you even curious to see who's calling?" cuz he hadnt picked up...so he picks up and i can hear a females voice on the other line..they talk breifly and then the bitch goes "so, are you with your girlfriend right now?" and hes responds "yep" then she goes "what the fuck ever justin" and hangs up the phone. i then proceed in a shouting fit "i knew it! i knew youve been cheating on me!" i was shaking, crying, screaming. *the worst pain ive ever had to deal with**** and justin denies it. i spend an hour on his couch crying. he cries too. we have an emotionally painful discussion, bryan comes to pick me up. the last thing justin says as i leave is "none of this was a lie, i never lied to you, i love you so much" he was crying......it. broke. my. heart.
weak-so then i started getting these horrible panic attacks the next morning. i couldnt breath. i went to work and pretended i didnt even know justin. i pretended i still knew myself, the way i used to be before i met him...later that night i went to bryan's house and watched the movie "unfaithful" great, huh. not. i cried for 3 hours, had another panic attack. wolk up the next morning, had another panic attack. went to the beach. went to wendys to see justin. came home, called him...then...had another episode.
frustrating- mmk....so you can probably now see why i'm adding frustration to the mix. it's frustrating to realize the person you love so deeply isnt good for you. at. all. its frustrating to realize how weak of a person i really am. to understand now that i probably dont even love justin, im just OBSESSED with him. obsession is a killer. i couldnt live without him...so when he called to ask to hang out it was frustrating to say yes, but even more to say no. so i said yes.
beautiful- after all that mess justin and i spent some beautiful nights with eachother. and i let him back, and now it almost feels like i can breath again alllmooosstt. im so obsessed with everything about him, i cant let it go and i wont.
alchohol influenced- nuff said there...lots of alcohol spent nights with my sister *my sister!!!* justin, alex, the wendys crew basically. that part's a blur...so i dont have much to even say. hah.
and at last...profitable-since i worked so much im gonna get a glorious pay check. yayayayaya. :)
that was my spring break.
spring break has been....exciting, exhausting, sexual, EMOTIONAL, weak, frustrating, beautiful, alcohol-influenced, and profitable.
exciting- the weather cleared out for the first time in forever which served to better my tan..and my overall outlook on florida as a state. i will never have beach days in kansas, i soaked a few moments i know ill later realize i took for granted.
exhausting- i worked about 40 hours this week in HELL HOLE WENDYS. nightmarish occurances with customers, skanky girls in their bathing suits, and a nonstop bing in my right ear "can i take your order please?" all the while watching my boyfriend check out the other hot girls while im sitting in my disgusting wendys outfit, trust me...there is no way to make that shit look sexy. but....i did put in my 2 weeks notice so no more wendys for me!
sexual- i dont know why i included this because i didnt have much sex...but ill just say the sex i had last night compensated for all the lack there of. it. was. amazing.
EMOTIONAL- i write that one in all caps due to the fact that during spring break i dont think ive been so emotional in a lonnngg time. so, here's why. i found out justin's been cheating on me...well, i had all these little clues from anonymous sources, but chose to ignore them. then, the moment i finally realized he was we were sitting on the couch and his cell phone kept ringing...i go "baby, arent you even curious to see who's calling?" cuz he hadnt picked up...so he picks up and i can hear a females voice on the other line..they talk breifly and then the bitch goes "so, are you with your girlfriend right now?" and hes responds "yep" then she goes "what the fuck ever justin" and hangs up the phone. i then proceed in a shouting fit "i knew it! i knew youve been cheating on me!" i was shaking, crying, screaming. *the worst pain ive ever had to deal with**** and justin denies it. i spend an hour on his couch crying. he cries too. we have an emotionally painful discussion, bryan comes to pick me up. the last thing justin says as i leave is "none of this was a lie, i never lied to you, i love you so much" he was crying......it. broke. my. heart.
weak-so then i started getting these horrible panic attacks the next morning. i couldnt breath. i went to work and pretended i didnt even know justin. i pretended i still knew myself, the way i used to be before i met him...later that night i went to bryan's house and watched the movie "unfaithful" great, huh. not. i cried for 3 hours, had another panic attack. wolk up the next morning, had another panic attack. went to the beach. went to wendys to see justin. came home, called him...then...had another episode.
frustrating- mmk....so you can probably now see why i'm adding frustration to the mix. it's frustrating to realize the person you love so deeply isnt good for you. at. all. its frustrating to realize how weak of a person i really am. to understand now that i probably dont even love justin, im just OBSESSED with him. obsession is a killer. i couldnt live without him...so when he called to ask to hang out it was frustrating to say yes, but even more to say no. so i said yes.
beautiful- after all that mess justin and i spent some beautiful nights with eachother. and i let him back, and now it almost feels like i can breath again alllmooosstt. im so obsessed with everything about him, i cant let it go and i wont.
alchohol influenced- nuff said there...lots of alcohol spent nights with my sister *my sister!!!* justin, alex, the wendys crew basically. that part's a blur...so i dont have much to even say. hah.
and at last...profitable-since i worked so much im gonna get a glorious pay check. yayayayaya. :)
that was my spring break.