(no subject)
Title: Two am.
Author: m_r_s_perfect.
Spoilers: Your fault.
Rated: PG.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Rex´s thoughts at two am- tbc.
Two am.
What is she thinking, coming home that late.
Leaving him lying on the sofa, waiting for her, worrying if she will come home at all.
But perhaps she hasn´t even thought about it, perhaps he´s not important enough to her to think about such things anymore.
He rolls over, trying to decide what to do now- of course he could just stay down here and spend all night with picturing her and that jerk engaging in more than friendly conversation.
Or he could get up, go upstairs into his wife´s bedroom and do whatever it will take to make it their bedroom again- if there is anything he can do at all.
Tomorrow it might be too late- after a whole night of imagining her and that guy he won´t even want her back- but then it probably isn´t up to him to want or not want anything anymore anyway.
It´s up to her- and she has made it unmistakably clear that she won´t make it that easy for him.
Levelling the playing field- yeah, right.
What makes her think she can just get back at him and keep being the victim?
He didn´t cheat on her for the fun of it, he cheated because- because of what?
Because he had to?
Because it somehow felt like the right thing to do?
Because he didn´t want to hurt her?
Because it´s all her fault?
How would it sound if he told her any of that- would she even think about taking him back anymore?
Even now after she has gotten her revenge?
Has she even thought about taking him back at all?
Is he naïve in thinking that she still loves him?
That she still cares?
She has to- how could she not, now that he is so sure that he still wants her and needs her and loves her?
How come he always thinks about nothing but himself?
The realization is striking and his thoughts stray down that path further.
Has he really thought about her once during the last few months?
Has he really taken time to wonder how she must feel between struggling to raise his kids and him filing for divorce and learning that he has betrayed her and having to look after him while he was lying on the couch, weakened by a heart attack that seized him while being in bed with the woman who hates his wife more than anyone else?
It has all been about him, him and only him, he has been the good one and she´s been the bad- he could ask everyone he knows, his children and their neighbours who was most likely to crack in that detergent commercial, his wife or him and they all would tell him that they understand- that living with a woman who is more plastic than flesh would drive anyone mad after some time.
They havn´t seen her standing in the kitchen and begging him to touch her.
They havn´t seen her in her fur coat, standing in his motel room and trying to make him happy.
They havn´t seen her asking him what has happened to them with tears in her eyes.
They havn´t seen her crossing that darkened street after leaving their son´s car unlocked, that damn car he had bought him.
They havn´t seen her pleading with him to come back upstairs, claiming that she missed him.
They havn´t seen her being human.
But he has.
He has seen it all and still he has been cold and distant with her and still he has hurt her and humiliated her and stepped out on her and still he somehow thinks he´s the one who doesn´t deserve to lie on the sofa at two am and wait for her to come home.
Still he thinks he´s the good one.
How can he after all he´s done to her.
It´s such a simple truth.
He isn’t the good one.
He´s the one who has messed them up.
He´s the one who has jeopardized their chance for happiness.
And he´s the one who has to go upstairs and go down on his knees and plead for forgiveness.
2.15 am.
Author: m_r_s_perfect.
Spoilers: Your fault.
Rated: PG.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Rex´s thoughts at two am- tbc.
Two am.
What is she thinking, coming home that late.
Leaving him lying on the sofa, waiting for her, worrying if she will come home at all.
But perhaps she hasn´t even thought about it, perhaps he´s not important enough to her to think about such things anymore.
He rolls over, trying to decide what to do now- of course he could just stay down here and spend all night with picturing her and that jerk engaging in more than friendly conversation.
Or he could get up, go upstairs into his wife´s bedroom and do whatever it will take to make it their bedroom again- if there is anything he can do at all.
Tomorrow it might be too late- after a whole night of imagining her and that guy he won´t even want her back- but then it probably isn´t up to him to want or not want anything anymore anyway.
It´s up to her- and she has made it unmistakably clear that she won´t make it that easy for him.
Levelling the playing field- yeah, right.
What makes her think she can just get back at him and keep being the victim?
He didn´t cheat on her for the fun of it, he cheated because- because of what?
Because he had to?
Because it somehow felt like the right thing to do?
Because he didn´t want to hurt her?
Because it´s all her fault?
How would it sound if he told her any of that- would she even think about taking him back anymore?
Even now after she has gotten her revenge?
Has she even thought about taking him back at all?
Is he naïve in thinking that she still loves him?
That she still cares?
She has to- how could she not, now that he is so sure that he still wants her and needs her and loves her?
How come he always thinks about nothing but himself?
The realization is striking and his thoughts stray down that path further.
Has he really thought about her once during the last few months?
Has he really taken time to wonder how she must feel between struggling to raise his kids and him filing for divorce and learning that he has betrayed her and having to look after him while he was lying on the couch, weakened by a heart attack that seized him while being in bed with the woman who hates his wife more than anyone else?
It has all been about him, him and only him, he has been the good one and she´s been the bad- he could ask everyone he knows, his children and their neighbours who was most likely to crack in that detergent commercial, his wife or him and they all would tell him that they understand- that living with a woman who is more plastic than flesh would drive anyone mad after some time.
They havn´t seen her standing in the kitchen and begging him to touch her.
They havn´t seen her in her fur coat, standing in his motel room and trying to make him happy.
They havn´t seen her asking him what has happened to them with tears in her eyes.
They havn´t seen her crossing that darkened street after leaving their son´s car unlocked, that damn car he had bought him.
They havn´t seen her pleading with him to come back upstairs, claiming that she missed him.
They havn´t seen her being human.
But he has.
He has seen it all and still he has been cold and distant with her and still he has hurt her and humiliated her and stepped out on her and still he somehow thinks he´s the one who doesn´t deserve to lie on the sofa at two am and wait for her to come home.
Still he thinks he´s the good one.
How can he after all he´s done to her.
It´s such a simple truth.
He isn’t the good one.
He´s the one who has messed them up.
He´s the one who has jeopardized their chance for happiness.
And he´s the one who has to go upstairs and go down on his knees and plead for forgiveness.
2.15 am.