(no subject)
weeks seem to be going by pretty quickly lately. sometimes its a blur. but i can't blame life, or myself, thats just how it is. days go by and all i can do is try my hardest.
my goals this semester are centered around school. i need to get serious or i will never make it past ASU. my classes so far are pretty interesting, we'll see if they continue to be the whole semester.
my grandma always makes our family pull a tarot card for the year. last year i was a bat. it warned me that my life was going to change almost completely. freaky? if you know all that happened ya your probably thinking just that. this year i got a dolphin. the dolphin is supposed to help me focus and no matter how hard the water pushes against me, she will bring me through. sounds pretty cheesy but i guess we'll see how it goes.
as many of you know i'm not good with confrontation. i can never say what i've been wanting to say when its time to say it. i suck at fighting and i hate doing it. that's how i got turned on to positivity. when i'm positive people won't fight with me. when i look at things and how good they are rather than how shitty, there's no reason to complain and so my attitude stays cheery all day and usually i can bring people up with me. i don't understand how someone with so much going for her would waste time worrying about the insignificant dramas and let it ruin the whole day, her whole life. so thats the path i've chosen. so it sounds like i got it all figured out. but i question myself everyday. others question me too and cause me to rethink my whole life, how i act, what i do. its never going to be enough for others but thats ok cause at the end when i take away everyone i care for or don't know, its just me. so why hurt yourself when she's all you've got? i don't understand it now just like i didn't back then. i will never understand. and you can say that's a reason not to let me in, that i don't understand...i'll just have to accept it then. i just hope everyone finds happiness. and i hope you let me be a part of it someday.
guess things will always change. i just wish i didn't feel guilty about it.
my goals this semester are centered around school. i need to get serious or i will never make it past ASU. my classes so far are pretty interesting, we'll see if they continue to be the whole semester.
my grandma always makes our family pull a tarot card for the year. last year i was a bat. it warned me that my life was going to change almost completely. freaky? if you know all that happened ya your probably thinking just that. this year i got a dolphin. the dolphin is supposed to help me focus and no matter how hard the water pushes against me, she will bring me through. sounds pretty cheesy but i guess we'll see how it goes.
as many of you know i'm not good with confrontation. i can never say what i've been wanting to say when its time to say it. i suck at fighting and i hate doing it. that's how i got turned on to positivity. when i'm positive people won't fight with me. when i look at things and how good they are rather than how shitty, there's no reason to complain and so my attitude stays cheery all day and usually i can bring people up with me. i don't understand how someone with so much going for her would waste time worrying about the insignificant dramas and let it ruin the whole day, her whole life. so thats the path i've chosen. so it sounds like i got it all figured out. but i question myself everyday. others question me too and cause me to rethink my whole life, how i act, what i do. its never going to be enough for others but thats ok cause at the end when i take away everyone i care for or don't know, its just me. so why hurt yourself when she's all you've got? i don't understand it now just like i didn't back then. i will never understand. and you can say that's a reason not to let me in, that i don't understand...i'll just have to accept it then. i just hope everyone finds happiness. and i hope you let me be a part of it someday.
guess things will always change. i just wish i didn't feel guilty about it.