quick update and vent
congrats to my mom who has two weeks of class and she's off to the real world of occupational therapy. i'm so proud of her. three girls, a house payment, bills up the butt, a couple relationships gone bad, and she still gets straight A's for the most part. amazing. i love you mom.
my family...i dont know what to say. i wish i could be like five of me so i could be there all the time for laura, for caitlyn, for my mom, my dad and then the fifth one would be for me. i feel like i've been so caught up in all my crap i've neglected them. i need to fix that.
he comes home a week from tomorrow. he's already in the U.S. he's in hawaii. he called me today from his cell phone and it was just weird to see his name on the caller i.d. rather than Security Screen. i thought i was dreaming and almost didn't answer the phone. "8 days babe!" thats what he said. eight days. shit. whats going to happen? he knows what to say to me. he knows how to make me fall again. he knows me. but he doesn't really know me. he hasn't been able to know me for two years. i've changed. thats what i have to tell him, i've changed. i'm not the girl he hooked up with in highschool. i'm not the same girl who you went to prom with, who you lost your virginity to, who loved you. i'm not the same girl who even said yes to you when you got down on one knee. i'm not her anymore.
i need to find something to control. something good to control. cause i'm losing it. i'm gonna go crazy if i dont get it together.
this week is dedicated to getting my life back on track before it's all screwed up again. so here goes nothin.
my family...i dont know what to say. i wish i could be like five of me so i could be there all the time for laura, for caitlyn, for my mom, my dad and then the fifth one would be for me. i feel like i've been so caught up in all my crap i've neglected them. i need to fix that.
he comes home a week from tomorrow. he's already in the U.S. he's in hawaii. he called me today from his cell phone and it was just weird to see his name on the caller i.d. rather than Security Screen. i thought i was dreaming and almost didn't answer the phone. "8 days babe!" thats what he said. eight days. shit. whats going to happen? he knows what to say to me. he knows how to make me fall again. he knows me. but he doesn't really know me. he hasn't been able to know me for two years. i've changed. thats what i have to tell him, i've changed. i'm not the girl he hooked up with in highschool. i'm not the same girl who you went to prom with, who you lost your virginity to, who loved you. i'm not the same girl who even said yes to you when you got down on one knee. i'm not her anymore.
i need to find something to control. something good to control. cause i'm losing it. i'm gonna go crazy if i dont get it together.
this week is dedicated to getting my life back on track before it's all screwed up again. so here goes nothin.