We're slaves to our emotions
I need you.
I always will. I don't know how to breathe correctly without you. I have to physically concentrate on existing if the notion even presents itself that you might be gone.
19.
Not a drastic change. We'll see how things go from here. This year is already tainted. 7 months of it will be dedicated to survival.
I hurt you. I'm sorry. I know that right now you don't know how you feel about me, about us. I understand. I made you promises. I got you to trust me. I couldn't keep those promises. I should have known that when I made them. We shoud have been smarter. We could have avoided this altogether.
But it's here.
It's real.
We've got to deal with it.
But I want to do more than that.
I am 5 minutes into my 19th birthday and it's already the worst birthday I've ever had because you're not talking to me. You're somewhere. I'm so tempted to get in my car and drive to you. Irresponsible? Very. Necessary? I am starting to think so. I'd probably fall asleep at the wheel. Then this would all be over...
It's not that easy. I can't let it be. I complicate things.
I love you. You'll never read this.