Why does life have to be soo diffcult..
Well yeah lately everything is jus going right back downhill..everything thing was really good 3 weeks ago..this is how it was b4 i got that pone call..tellen me that " bekka i love you..i kno all the shyt i eva did was always wrong but i kno what i did wrong and i love u..even wen i told u i didnt i did..u mean everything to me..i cant live with out you" ...listing to all that while she was crien..screaming all that..it all seems like its a lie now..that same day she was planing on comming down hea cuz she was so determined to come n see me..but shyt wasnt planned so..we made it for the weekend that was comming up..but eva since that pone call that day on..everything was like all erased n better..the next weekend after that pone call..she came down hea..n it was the best fuckin day of my life..it really..was i neva felt so right in my life like i did april 16, 2005 i will neva eva forget that date..we spent the entire day together..did are lil thing u kno..it was like the best fuckin thing to eva happen in either of our lives..but then next day comes..she had to leave..and go back to nyc...its like she took my heart with her..i couldnt stop crien ..i was heartbroken wen she had to leave..but she had to so..u kno..but yah days after she left i was neva right..i was constantly crien..cuz u kno..nuthin liek that has eva came into my life n i neva expeirenced all that like i did with jasmyne..it was all liek a first time thing for me n it ment everything to me..but u kno now that i see whats going down..its like it wouldnt really have mattered if it didnt happen to her..so now 3 weeks after seeing her its like..everything is back to the old same shyt..u kno the jasmyne that dont care bout ne thing..brearly cares bout me..she dont tell me she loves me ne more..u kno..none of that happenes ne more..it was from callen me all the time..now to like maybe once a day now..its all changen and u kno..to her nuthing is changin and everything is the same...she jus dont no how much she has right now n how much ive been trying to work shyt out with her..she jus dosnt even care at all..not one bit..so as of right now..she has me in a mess again cuz im bustin my ass trying to like do ne thing to make her happy..wen u no she is all fuckin fighten with me all the time n wen i like bring ne thing up bout like if i think shyt is happening between us n like we should work shyt out u kno she gets all madd n thinks everything is great so i really dont no what to do ne more..so like im stuck an have no one but my self to help get out of this mess..i kno what i have to do..but doing it is the thing thats getten in my way..but yah..
I needed to vent out sumwere so..here was the place..but yah im done now..lets see what tommorow brings us..more shyt i bet..i wont even give to tommorow..i bet jus tonight will be a whole new thing..but w,e i guess..ill update soon ..