and i think to myself...what a wonderful world.....

[breatheinsmoke]

i love brother iz's version of somewhere over the rainbow, because he mixes in what a wonderful world...except that is the only song on the cd i really love...there are some that i like but that one is by far the best....anyway so since i havent written in a while, i will sum up the weekend...ok on friday, john retook a test and then he called me

Comments

[antdoteforirony]

and just to let you know, i love that you and john are really happy together and cute and whatever, but it does get annoying when we cant have a normal conversation wihtout you two arguing about biting or kissing. the two main things we talked about all night were you two fake-fighting (and i say that because it isnt like you are really mad at each other, you're just being cute, don't make it out to be such a bad thing, you're lucky thats the only fighting you have) and then at dinner when we talked about me. now, you know what, i'm sorry that it was so hard on you to listen to me talk about myself, but as long as i have known you, thats how we've always been, and god knows i've listened to plenty of your drama too! now that you don't have drama, you don't need me? i don't fucking get it jackie.
and yea, i suggested a movie because there was nothing else to do and you two just wnated to sit and make out and whatever, and then the whole time its like you guys arent even watching it, if youd rather just be doing what you're doing (and you were not being as quiet as you think) then why was i there? i mean dont invite me or say its ok if i come (i dont care if i asked, actually... i asked if i could hang out with YOU, and you are always with john so i wasnt ever planning on intruding on your plans) if all you are going to do is couple shit, then tell me so, and i'll leave. i wasn't "threatening" you, i was trying to be polite cause if you guys wanted your privacy, yea, i understand, but i was under the impression (who the fuck knows how i got this, since i'm obviously VERY wrong) that i was, i dont know, wanted? i mean, if you want to be like.. the two of you... then wow, who am i to get mad? but fucking tell me, and i'll leave you the hell alone, cause thats way awkward for me, having to sit and watch you two, but unfortunately that is my only time i ever get to see you at all.

so you know what, if you are really angry at me for talking about myself and not wanting to watch you make out with your boyfriend, fine, be mad at me. i'm sorry that all i've done is act the way you and i always have, and if you think i'm suddenly a self-centered bitch, then i'm sorry about that too. i know i can be self-centered sometimes, but i dont think its that abnormal to want to hang out with my best friend, and if i have to do it with john around (i really have no choice) then i would like to be a part of the conversation, not just the part that involves your relationship.
so if you even want me as a friend (which it really feels like you could give a shit less now that you have john) then please call me, maybe we can get together and talk about this, cause i'm so sick of indirectly fighting about this (i love how you dont even tell me you're mad at me, you just lay on the bed and don't say bye and pretend you're sleeping).... and if you don't give a shit, then wow, i'm sorry you've changed that much and that this has evolved into me being a selfish bitch who is ruining your perfect relationship with your perfect boyfriend.