Soul
Facebook and the iPhone have stolen my soul. I can't remember the last time I read anyones journal. I miss the depth I used to go into and the fact that felt connected to people when I read what they wrote.
Post pardum hits me most when I am not holding her and with me back at work its pungent taste sits in the back of my throat making my eyes water.
Don't ask me how I am doing because answering it sounds depressing and I don't want to be.
She smiles and coos demands and reprimands. I never want to leave her but recognize sometimes I need to. Laugh when she torments her father. Marvel at her tiny little advances into sitting up, holding her head steady and the cat kneading she does that doesn't get in her own way. Fear the moment she gets mobile, and realizes her hands can put things into her mouth.
Husband is awesome. Currently staying with panda while I work which is good because we only have one car now.
Work is hell. I feel unable to talk and stumble over what I should know. My team that I did know has moved eslewhere and been replaced by 300% more. Team that used to be 20 is now over 60 and I know maybe 10. They have moved me twice and I tried to lure newbs with toffee into introducing themselves to a whooping 4 people who actually did. There is a smell of fear as most of my team are temps that are under strictcode of what they can do. So I am not snubbed just feeling isolated by my own shyness. And there is a girl that I've started a little crush on because she makes me think of a pink haired punky ani defranco with big ole combat boots that she stomps around in with a smile that fills a room. { sigh girls are just freaking awesome}
Meh!
Oh and my new shit will be 3am-11 Saturday then 2am-11am Monday Tuesday thursday Friday
Yay shift differential boo no socialness