Almost 3 months without weed
I didn’t quite make it exactly 3 months, but I must’ve gotten to the 90 day mark before vaping a little again. I must say, it was a disappointment. The idea of smoking has been building in my mind for a while, so yesterday when I was bored and home alone, I decided to have a few hits off the last vape pen I bought. I guess I got a little high pretty quick, but also got frustrated almost immediately after because the stupid vape gets clogged. I didn’t bother with sucking harder or blowing into the opposite end. I thoroughly enjoyed my meal that probably would’ve been mediocre otherwise. I watched a couple of YouTube videos that were mildly entertaining but I wasn’t as into them as I had imagined. In my mind, everything is more fun with weed, but honestly YouTube was just as boring as it’s been the last few weeks. Also I did feel more sleepy today than I have lately, not sure if that was because of the weed or something else.
So now I can safely say that I am no longer addicted. And after having a little yesterday, I don’t even really want to smoke anymore. It doesn’t seem appealing.
A lot of the initial benefits leveled out. But here’s what I’ve noticed at the 3ish month mark:
1. I’ve continued to read regularly. My kindle app says I’ve read 88 days in a row, and I’ve finished 18 books. Most of the books take me 3-5 days to finish, though some were a little longer because either I didn’t get into them as quickly or they were too heavy to read much at a time. 10 of them were young adult books, but the other 8 were actually for adults 😂 (kinda surprising for me). It’s been nice to get back into reading fiction, something that’s been largely absent from my life since I started smoking.
2. Another benefit that I believe happened due to giving up weed - I’ve gotten better at my job. My paperwork is on point and I feel better about it overall. I don’t stress as much and I feel like my brain actually knows what to write down.
3. Another reason I’m better at work as a result of giving up weed is that I’m still less anti-social. I’m talking more to colleagues and finding myself wanting to talk to them. I’m clearer headed during social interactions.
4. I also hate myself less. I think that makes it easier to socialize. But quitting has reduced the amount of shame I have overall. This has stuck throughout my journey of quitting - I noticed it the first month and it’s still here after 3.
5. I’m also still more sensitive to stuff overall, even things like the shower water temperature (also might go with the hating self less). I’m feeling things more in the moment, but also letting go of the feelings quicker. Things might bother me a little more intensely than they used to, but it’s okay because I acknowledge the feeling quicker and it doesn’t build up as much.
6. I actually do love having dreams again. Most of them are at least entertaining or make me curious. I have some stressful dreams (usually about being late for or forgetting about work) but most of them are tame and interesting. I’ve dreamed about people I haven’t thought of in ages. I can visit different places in my dreams. It’s been a lot of fun and I consider this a pro of quitting.
7. The main con of quitting is that I still don’t know how to adequately manage my anxiety, so I’m eating more than I used to. But I’m working on that.
8. Oh, and finally, my sleep schedule has continued to be normal. Sometimes it’s hard to fall asleep and get into a deep sleep, but overall I’m going to bed before midnight (crazy) and getting up at like 8am without feeling overly tired. This is maybe the most surprising change since even before I was a pothead I didn’t have a decent sleep schedule lol.
In summary, the pros vastly outweigh the cons. I’m glad I quit. I’m glad I’m not addicted. The thoughts still come sometimes but after smoking yesterday I think they’ll be even easier to manage. I’m thankful to myself for being patient and finding the right time for me to kick this habit. I’m glad I decided to start therapy first (without making quitting my goal in therapy). And I’m glad I didn’t push myself to stop before I was ready. Things worked out exactly as they needed to. 💜
So now I can safely say that I am no longer addicted. And after having a little yesterday, I don’t even really want to smoke anymore. It doesn’t seem appealing.
A lot of the initial benefits leveled out. But here’s what I’ve noticed at the 3ish month mark:
1. I’ve continued to read regularly. My kindle app says I’ve read 88 days in a row, and I’ve finished 18 books. Most of the books take me 3-5 days to finish, though some were a little longer because either I didn’t get into them as quickly or they were too heavy to read much at a time. 10 of them were young adult books, but the other 8 were actually for adults 😂 (kinda surprising for me). It’s been nice to get back into reading fiction, something that’s been largely absent from my life since I started smoking.
2. Another benefit that I believe happened due to giving up weed - I’ve gotten better at my job. My paperwork is on point and I feel better about it overall. I don’t stress as much and I feel like my brain actually knows what to write down.
3. Another reason I’m better at work as a result of giving up weed is that I’m still less anti-social. I’m talking more to colleagues and finding myself wanting to talk to them. I’m clearer headed during social interactions.
4. I also hate myself less. I think that makes it easier to socialize. But quitting has reduced the amount of shame I have overall. This has stuck throughout my journey of quitting - I noticed it the first month and it’s still here after 3.
5. I’m also still more sensitive to stuff overall, even things like the shower water temperature (also might go with the hating self less). I’m feeling things more in the moment, but also letting go of the feelings quicker. Things might bother me a little more intensely than they used to, but it’s okay because I acknowledge the feeling quicker and it doesn’t build up as much.
6. I actually do love having dreams again. Most of them are at least entertaining or make me curious. I have some stressful dreams (usually about being late for or forgetting about work) but most of them are tame and interesting. I’ve dreamed about people I haven’t thought of in ages. I can visit different places in my dreams. It’s been a lot of fun and I consider this a pro of quitting.
7. The main con of quitting is that I still don’t know how to adequately manage my anxiety, so I’m eating more than I used to. But I’m working on that.
8. Oh, and finally, my sleep schedule has continued to be normal. Sometimes it’s hard to fall asleep and get into a deep sleep, but overall I’m going to bed before midnight (crazy) and getting up at like 8am without feeling overly tired. This is maybe the most surprising change since even before I was a pothead I didn’t have a decent sleep schedule lol.
In summary, the pros vastly outweigh the cons. I’m glad I quit. I’m glad I’m not addicted. The thoughts still come sometimes but after smoking yesterday I think they’ll be even easier to manage. I’m thankful to myself for being patient and finding the right time for me to kick this habit. I’m glad I decided to start therapy first (without making quitting my goal in therapy). And I’m glad I didn’t push myself to stop before I was ready. Things worked out exactly as they needed to. 💜