The Art of Argument
I realized tonight, though I should have realized this much earlier in my life, that I am absolutely terrible at putting my thoughts into words without first writing them down. This is not true in all cases. I can summarize a work or idea that I understand. I can apply a work or idea to my own life. However, I have difficulty describing what a work or idea means; abstract ideas and complicated works are the worst.
Because I have such difficulty transferring my ideas into words, I become frustrated, flustered, and panicky. I end up speaking incoherently. This inability to think/speak is the reason why I don't often have arguments without first writing down what I'd like to say. Not only do I have to reflect on how I honestly feel, but I also have to rehearse and think about all the reactions I could receive and how to answer to any possible questions. This way I'm absolutely prepared. Sounding stupid is one of the greatest ignominies and being misunderstood is the root of most problems. If I am unprepared for an argument, I am not listening to what the other person is saying, which is disrespectful, inconsiderate, and can lead to more problems. The reason why I'm not listening is because I'm thinking ahead, memorizing what I want to say, quickly filtering what I believe is important and unimportant.
I conclude that arguments should be played out like negotiations. Each party brings a list of grievances and possible solutions to the table. Each issue is broken down into points and each point is discussed individually and thoroughly. Then the solution to the issue is summarized and the parties move on to the next issue. This process may take much longer than a typical argument, but should leave both parties feeling understood. Inadequate arguments can lead to misunderstanding, mistrust, and therefore a revisiting of the issue(s). No one wants to continuously argue about the same thing over and over. I understand when the solutions to issues need clarification or monitoring, but the issue(s) shouldn't need to be re-resolved.
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Though it seems like I'm talking about recent problems in the last paragraph, I'm not. My mind often treads backwards to thoughts buried in the depths of my mind. The thoughts reflected in the last paragraph are just latent frustrations of failed arguments from the past.
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I may be a good writer yet! Just look at those last two sentences. They are synonymous. The essence of a good bullshitter (I mean 'writer') is the ability to say the same thing differently as many was as possible until it becomes monotonous. The magnitude of the ability to describe an idea or concept in many different ways is the basis from which a writer's ability is decided. That is, the better the writer is at bullshitting, the higher the praise.
Oh I am an asset to my field!
Because I have such difficulty transferring my ideas into words, I become frustrated, flustered, and panicky. I end up speaking incoherently. This inability to think/speak is the reason why I don't often have arguments without first writing down what I'd like to say. Not only do I have to reflect on how I honestly feel, but I also have to rehearse and think about all the reactions I could receive and how to answer to any possible questions. This way I'm absolutely prepared. Sounding stupid is one of the greatest ignominies and being misunderstood is the root of most problems. If I am unprepared for an argument, I am not listening to what the other person is saying, which is disrespectful, inconsiderate, and can lead to more problems. The reason why I'm not listening is because I'm thinking ahead, memorizing what I want to say, quickly filtering what I believe is important and unimportant.
I conclude that arguments should be played out like negotiations. Each party brings a list of grievances and possible solutions to the table. Each issue is broken down into points and each point is discussed individually and thoroughly. Then the solution to the issue is summarized and the parties move on to the next issue. This process may take much longer than a typical argument, but should leave both parties feeling understood. Inadequate arguments can lead to misunderstanding, mistrust, and therefore a revisiting of the issue(s). No one wants to continuously argue about the same thing over and over. I understand when the solutions to issues need clarification or monitoring, but the issue(s) shouldn't need to be re-resolved.
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Though it seems like I'm talking about recent problems in the last paragraph, I'm not. My mind often treads backwards to thoughts buried in the depths of my mind. The thoughts reflected in the last paragraph are just latent frustrations of failed arguments from the past.
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I may be a good writer yet! Just look at those last two sentences. They are synonymous. The essence of a good bullshitter (I mean 'writer') is the ability to say the same thing differently as many was as possible until it becomes monotonous. The magnitude of the ability to describe an idea or concept in many different ways is the basis from which a writer's ability is decided. That is, the better the writer is at bullshitting, the higher the praise.
Oh I am an asset to my field!