(Untitled)

[breakupyourband]

Today I looked in the mirror and noticed what looked like tons of little red freckles all around my eyes and under my eyelids...
Apparently I vomited so violently yesterday that I popped blood vessels in my face. There's a first time for everything, I guess.

Comments

[wadelikewater]

Dude, when did drinking a gallon of milk in an hour become a "thing"? Who the fuck does that?! One time I got really drunk with my brother's friends and I passed out on the top of this guy's bunk bed, and my brother and some other guy came in and pulled the sheets up at the corners so I was wrapped in it like a sack, and then they fucking dropped me over the side. I banged my face and got two black eyes.

[breakupyourband]

Ah, good ol' Randy - the only person in the world who doesn't know about the drink a gallon of milk in an hour thing...

[wadelikewater]

Well, maybe if I lived in austin. I'm sure they drink a gallon of milk every hour up there. And they probably do it in their rocket cars surrounded by rockstars and jedi's. But here in SA the only thing we do every hour is take a siesta and eat tacos. in fact, It's 11:00 am, I'm at work, I've got no pants on, and I've been asleep since 8:00. Do you get to not wear pants at your fancy austin job? can you crawl under your desk and take a little nap? I think not. So you can keep your booze and your blow and fancy "paved roads". Who needs that when you've got a 24 hour Krispie Kream? Fucking Nobody, thats who.

[breakupyourband]

San Antonio has about..what...just over 2.5 million residents. And one Krispy Kreme. Austin has just over 500,000 resident and TWO KRISPY KREMES, BITCH! Plus, we have Ken's Donuts and Mrs. Johnson's - both better than Krispy Kreme.

What was that you were saying? I can't hear you, I am swimming in donuts right now!!!1

[wadelikewater]

Ok, but can you get a glazed Chorizo and egg at mrs. johnsux's? Can you? I didn't think so. see, I have this little theory. Austin and San Antonio where very similar at one point. Twins in fact. Then one day god came down from heaved and scooped Austin up and placed in it Hot chicks and some good music venues. When San Antonio saw the great rejoicing of his brother he called out, LORD, for what shall I recieveth as I have been true to you when my brother turned away and elected liberal city officials and organized indie film festivals. So the lord who harkened onto San Antonio scooped him up and Deep fried him in lard and then dropped him in a big desert with only one water source and bunch of old missions. The moral of the story? Austin sux. SA ROCKS. EAT YOU YANKEES!

THE END.