(no subject)
A post.
Once again, I am alive out here. I think that counts for something because sometimes I feel so totally lost in the shit that life seems to endlessly throw our way that I forget that that in itself is a small miracle.
Awesome stuff, I got a new job. A good job, working at the library, it's part time for now but the people who hired me loved me right away and think I will move up quick. That's nice for a change. I definately had some good stuff on my side when I went into the interview. It was easy for me, and I think they had interviewed 12 other people for the position in a week. So cool stuff. Couldn't stop smiling for three days. It just feels amazing to have something go my way. It has felt like for the past...year really nothing has wanted to give. So heres to finally having something pay off, and having something to believe in again.
I was planning on ranting about other things after that, but I have decided not to. Whatever- Ive decided there is no point. If you don't bother you don't bother. Simple as that. Id like to say it kills me inside to write that because it does a little but theres nothing I can do about it.
Ive always kind of wonder what compels people to sit three feet away from one another and not bother to ask how their day was. I don't really wonder anymore. It's because they don't care- and really people don't need any more reason than that to justify their choices.
I will take the time here instead to complaining to write about the good things.
my new job, awesome I have been working and waiting so hard for this kind of chance. I haven't felt that excited about something in forever. I am still quite happily living with the man I love. he is silly, he makes me smile and annoys the hell out of me mostly at the same time, lol. He is great, sweet, compassionate, interesting, funny and smart. I have gotten so much and I keep getting so much from being with him. The animals, they are great, what more can I say. You always feel loved even when the world is tough on you when you come home to someone who's whole body is litterally shaking with anticipation to see you. Ive grown a lot as a person. I take better care of myself, I am responsible, dedicated. I am a hard worker and I am reliable which the last two especially have never been able to be attributed to me in my entire life. Aside from this most times I am very outgoing, personable and approachable. I guess thats what happens when you meet more than a hundred people a day and your life depends on it. Not bad things though. It has actually served me well. I get lonely from being alone, I like to be around people and being out around doing things. I find time for things that matter.
What if is just an illusion because theres no way of knowing the outcome of things that never happened. They are nothing to build a life around. Is it hard sometimes to live with the choices we make-obviously. It can be painful and shitty and just plain depressing. Easier to think about the things that wouldn't have been if xwe hadn't made the choices we did. Not having those would be so much painful than the things that never were, might not have been no matter what. I wouldn't give now for the world.
Once again, I am alive out here. I think that counts for something because sometimes I feel so totally lost in the shit that life seems to endlessly throw our way that I forget that that in itself is a small miracle.
Awesome stuff, I got a new job. A good job, working at the library, it's part time for now but the people who hired me loved me right away and think I will move up quick. That's nice for a change. I definately had some good stuff on my side when I went into the interview. It was easy for me, and I think they had interviewed 12 other people for the position in a week. So cool stuff. Couldn't stop smiling for three days. It just feels amazing to have something go my way. It has felt like for the past...year really nothing has wanted to give. So heres to finally having something pay off, and having something to believe in again.
I was planning on ranting about other things after that, but I have decided not to. Whatever- Ive decided there is no point. If you don't bother you don't bother. Simple as that. Id like to say it kills me inside to write that because it does a little but theres nothing I can do about it.
Ive always kind of wonder what compels people to sit three feet away from one another and not bother to ask how their day was. I don't really wonder anymore. It's because they don't care- and really people don't need any more reason than that to justify their choices.
I will take the time here instead to complaining to write about the good things.
my new job, awesome I have been working and waiting so hard for this kind of chance. I haven't felt that excited about something in forever. I am still quite happily living with the man I love. he is silly, he makes me smile and annoys the hell out of me mostly at the same time, lol. He is great, sweet, compassionate, interesting, funny and smart. I have gotten so much and I keep getting so much from being with him. The animals, they are great, what more can I say. You always feel loved even when the world is tough on you when you come home to someone who's whole body is litterally shaking with anticipation to see you. Ive grown a lot as a person. I take better care of myself, I am responsible, dedicated. I am a hard worker and I am reliable which the last two especially have never been able to be attributed to me in my entire life. Aside from this most times I am very outgoing, personable and approachable. I guess thats what happens when you meet more than a hundred people a day and your life depends on it. Not bad things though. It has actually served me well. I get lonely from being alone, I like to be around people and being out around doing things. I find time for things that matter.
What if is just an illusion because theres no way of knowing the outcome of things that never happened. They are nothing to build a life around. Is it hard sometimes to live with the choices we make-obviously. It can be painful and shitty and just plain depressing. Easier to think about the things that wouldn't have been if xwe hadn't made the choices we did. Not having those would be so much painful than the things that never were, might not have been no matter what. I wouldn't give now for the world.