if you want to hold on to the first girl that you meet

[breakthekid]

Every time I sit down to write something in Livejournal I delete it.

Probably because I am unhappy with the way I am and the way I handle situations

I’m fiercely jealous, I complain, I cry way….WAY too much, I am an emotionally and physically violent person….

I hate the way I sound and the way I interpret situations, the way I dig holes for myself and the way I push people so far away from me that I not only loose them but loose a piece of me with that person.

I get attached…and can never really let go, but I make it so easy for others to let me go.

I’m awkward.

And worst of all, I am a walking hypocrisy.

I have such a good life and I am in love. But why can’t I just keep up with that constant instead of hold onto negativity?

Maybe that’s just the problem. I’m so used to expecting change and for people to walk away that it has made me walk out the door before anyone else really has a chance to.

I have until July 27th to really DO something about it, or I am going to be a very lonely young lady.

I hide by smothering myself in you, but what happens when you leave?