I'm not as dumb as I look...really...
FUUUUUCK! Fuck.
Today was not worth getting out of bed for. It was miserable. Part of a project due at noon (for a professor who I'm pretty sure does not like me at all), so I had to skip my Programming lecture in order to finish it. Chem Lab took far longer than it should have, and I'm not sure why. I couldn't even finish balancing all of the equations because time was short, and apparently, I cannot balance under pressure. Mostly though, today played host to the culmination of a feeling I've had since coming to MSU: idiocy. I'm not a dumb guy, I know, but all school year, I've felt like a moron. I got a 5 on the AP Calc test in high school, and then proceeded to 2.0 Calc II in college. I've not yet been to a Chem Lab session where I don't come out of it feeling like a total dumbass. Even Computer Programming is chipping away at my self-esteem. I do not have the attention span to sit through 80-minute lectures, so naturally, I retain very little knowledge from them. Thank Baby Jesus for wireless internet, right?
Anyway, I just want it to go back to the way it was in high school, when everyone thought I was smart. Because I don't think I'm leaving that impression on anyone here at Moo U so far.
There was a bit of an upside to today, though. The girl who swiped my card for dinner was pretty cute, and looked/sounded like she thought the same about me. Though I'm sure she's just really good at customer service, I don't care. It made me happy for a minute.