(no subject)

[breakingthesky]

To whomever wrote that comment on my last entry, you're completely right. You say I'm a lowlife bum, and granted right now I don't have a job and haven't for the past month and a half, well right now I am usually broke, but for the first time in my life I've actually borrowed money from people instead of loaning it out. My whole life I've worked and helped out anyone that needed it and if I had a hundreth of the money that I've gave other people, I could pay the 6 maybe 7 people I've borrowed money from. But I don't want any of that money; if I let you borrow money I don't expect you to pay me back, just help me out when I'm in need. That's how I am, but if I borrow money from someone else I will pay it back or help them or whatever. My word is all I have. You say I need to grow up a little, maybe I do, but if I decide I need to judge somebody then I'll do it to their face, instead of saying shit online and not even having the good mind to put my name on it. Yeah I have went out in public in pretty bad shape lately, and I have my problems and issues to work out, and god knows I've made some mistakes, but no matter where I'm at, it's all me, theres no front and you get the good and bad, and I guess lately I've showed more of my bad side. I suck in pool? Yeah maybe I do, but no worse than anyone else around here, save maybe Tater. Pool used to be life for me, but you get so far around here and then theres nowhere else to go with it. I don't give a fuck about winning a few dollars or actually showing my game anymore - I've already proved myself. If I actually had a reason to really play I would, all I do it now for is to burn time. Only a few people around here have given me a reason to show my game, the last one being that fat boy that hangs out with Corey and Jacob. I've walked into every pool hall and bar in Calhoun and Cleburne County and took every penny in there, anyone whose been around the pool hall scene around here knows that, and knows that I'm not gonna walk into a penny and dime pool hall and actually shoot, cuz theres no money in it for me. And still, even though I know I'm better than 90% of the pool players around here, I know I suck. I'm just glad I can come to terms with that, unlike a few select players around here who think because they can run a rack (on purpose:) once a blue moon, and take a couple bucks off the stooges around here that they're god's gift to pool. I've seen some shooters with potential to be great, go from humble, quiet respectable players into obnoxious, disrespectful and most of all annoying shit-shooters because they pick themselves a big fish and kiss his ass so much that he keeps them around. Sorry if I get off track, that's a subject I can go on about for days. If you ever see me in a pool hall, please let me know you're there, and I might actually half-way shoot just so you'll know better than to say shit like that. And if you're around enough to know who I'm talking about, and if you're who I think you are I do, tell him to mention something about me sucking at pool next time I see him and if I'm in the mood I might actually take his wallet or get back all the money I've given him, if I'm in decent shape. And I should be, I'm slowing down my bad habits, and before long I plan to have quit and get all my shit together. Oh yeah, don't even bother replying if you ain't got the decency (or balls) to tell me who you are.... I think I'll end this with an altered verse from one of my favorite songs...

I don’t try to put off anything I do to be nobody’s fault
even if they got more money and mouth than they got balls.
That’s just how it went down, right or wrong, it’s just that way.
Just cause I don’t run my mouth don’t mean I got nothing to say....