there are different endings for the same thing
i feel like there's a lot i need to get out, to vent about, to put into words. but for some reason, words just arent flowing out like they usually do. i have noticed over the last week that i have been put in situations where i felt so much but just couldnt express it in understandable terms. i cant even grasp all of it myself, let alone explain it to other people. i guess much of it boils down to my questioning my place in the world, if i even have some chance to make the slightest impact. what really is one person's significance?
i think what started me down this path is that book i'm reading for southern politics. it's one of the most honest and well-written accounts of the south i've ever found and i'm obsessed with it. i'm obsessed with its truth, with its nuances, with the way it makes me think, with the way i want to cry everytime i pick it up. but mostly i love that out of my entire class, i'm probably one of 2 or 3 people who will actually see the meaning behind the whole book, that it isnt about the past but the past as a reflection of our present and future. i relate to the narrator's love for a place where he could never hope to fit in, a buying of the mystique but reluctance to accept the actual product.
i also watched paradise now yesterday. again, i cant fully explain what it made me feel, but the point is that it did make me feel. and think. it's hard to see the side of that conflict from the palestinian viewpoint when we are inundated with israeli propaganda in america. and of course this took the extremist path, but i still really enjoyed the movie. i dont know how to describe it, but the feeling i got after it was over was very similar to the feeling i got after watching hotel rwanda. hopelessness? guilt? a combination?
in less introspective news: beth and i ran/walked the 5k today in less than 33 min, and i'm uber-proud of us. we're going to get better as the term progresses. stay tuned for time updates. speaking of updates: mcat practice test #2: 28. not bad. it was a much harder test than #1. and i've been attempting to study physics all week, so that should help a good bit for this week's attempt. i've been listening to death cab alot today, trying to get pumped about the concert next week. and i realized that i judged Plans too quickly. there are some not-so-great songs but there really are some good ones that i had overlooked until now. i watched brokeback mountain again tonight. i'd say it's a good bit better the second time. it was a clp so there was a q&a afterwards and a girl started to ask something. but she misspoke when trying to say ennis and said what would be pronounced as "anus" instead. and it was terribly awkward because not many people heard and put two and two together, but beth and i were trying not to die from laughing. and once you try to suppress a laugh, it becomes so much more funny than it was originally. oh gay cowboys...
i think what started me down this path is that book i'm reading for southern politics. it's one of the most honest and well-written accounts of the south i've ever found and i'm obsessed with it. i'm obsessed with its truth, with its nuances, with the way it makes me think, with the way i want to cry everytime i pick it up. but mostly i love that out of my entire class, i'm probably one of 2 or 3 people who will actually see the meaning behind the whole book, that it isnt about the past but the past as a reflection of our present and future. i relate to the narrator's love for a place where he could never hope to fit in, a buying of the mystique but reluctance to accept the actual product.
i also watched paradise now yesterday. again, i cant fully explain what it made me feel, but the point is that it did make me feel. and think. it's hard to see the side of that conflict from the palestinian viewpoint when we are inundated with israeli propaganda in america. and of course this took the extremist path, but i still really enjoyed the movie. i dont know how to describe it, but the feeling i got after it was over was very similar to the feeling i got after watching hotel rwanda. hopelessness? guilt? a combination?
in less introspective news: beth and i ran/walked the 5k today in less than 33 min, and i'm uber-proud of us. we're going to get better as the term progresses. stay tuned for time updates. speaking of updates: mcat practice test #2: 28. not bad. it was a much harder test than #1. and i've been attempting to study physics all week, so that should help a good bit for this week's attempt. i've been listening to death cab alot today, trying to get pumped about the concert next week. and i realized that i judged Plans too quickly. there are some not-so-great songs but there really are some good ones that i had overlooked until now. i watched brokeback mountain again tonight. i'd say it's a good bit better the second time. it was a clp so there was a q&a afterwards and a girl started to ask something. but she misspoke when trying to say ennis and said what would be pronounced as "anus" instead. and it was terribly awkward because not many people heard and put two and two together, but beth and i were trying not to die from laughing. and once you try to suppress a laugh, it becomes so much more funny than it was originally. oh gay cowboys...