focus.
Okay so I can barely open my eyes, swollen and crying. School is about ready to start, and I’m so scattered. I collect myself bit by bit and ready myself for more difficult obstacles. Right now love is not an option. Forgive me, I meant well. Relationships are not an option. My heart is dangled before the sharks and I hope they’re hungry while I play it like I have no cares in the world, rip my heart completely out of me. I will climb out of this mess, this hole I’ve dug. Prioritize. Focus. My mind controls my flesh and bone, and organs function on autopilot. I cannot do this; instead of passion and happiness it causes only but steady conflict and confusion. Call me a whore, but my hand and heart are mine, and mine alone. You can’t have them anymore. I don’t know if I can trust you, though I want to. I tell myself I do. But the layers of dead air are peeled back and void exposed making the emptiness of my days away from you grow and it hurts but I smile and I hide and I hide behind electric mass delusion, everything is okay now. Breathe. Again, focus. Tomorrow is a new day and everything happens for a reason.