31 Plays in 31 Days, #20 - "Reaching Out"
Another scene from my Frasier spinoff idea. Needs to be funnier, but I'm rushing to catch up and just posting whatever I can bang out.
This occurs after previous scenes Day #15 - "Subtle but Unmistakeable Disappointment", Day #14 - The Cousins Crane, and Day #19 - Lucky Bear.
Day #20 - “Reaching Out”
From Frasier spinoff
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
INT. ADJUNCT OFFICE - DAY
TITLE CARD: THE ARRANGEMENT
Leah is working at her desk while Freddy paces, ranting.
FREDDY
…and there’s music blasting through the whole place, but I can’t figure out where it’s coming from- until I go into my bedroom. And I walk in on him with his legs hooked over my headboard, doing sit-ups in his underwear in time to the beat of some screeching house mix, sweating like a pig into my sheets! And he just looks at me, upside down, all, “Sorry, bro, it’s the only thing heavy enough to anchor me!”
LEAH
Oh, the humanity.
FREDDY
But isn’t that outrageous?
LEAH
Dogs and cats, living together.
FREDDY
And you know what the worst part is? In the end, he’s hardly ever there! He just blows in long enough to clog up my shower drain, leave clothes everywhere, and get cracker crumbs in the Nutella.
LEAH
Why’s that a problem?
FREDDY
I’m sorry, you like finding somebody else’s boxer briefs tossed over a taxidermy bear?
LEAH
Better than over my ceiling fan like usual. But I mean that he’s never there. Wouldn’t that make it easier?
FREDDY
He’s treating the place like a cheap hotel.
LEAH
Yeah, when it's more like a charitable youth hostel. I’m sure it sucks that he’s messing the place up, but at least you don’t have to deal with him in your space all the time.
FREDDY
Well… it’s like he doesn’t want to spend any time with me at all!
LEAH
Do you want to spend time with him?
FREDDY
Well- no. Of course not. But you show up on your cousin’s doorstep, begging to crash, you could at least pretend you’re not completely using him for his spare room.
LEAH
So what are you going to do? Tell him it’s not working out?
FREDDY
I can’t do that! That’d be cruel!
LEAH
Why not? Hasn’t stopped you telling me.
FREDDY
He’s my cousin! He’s in a bad place right now, I can’t just throw him out.
LEAH
So don’t throw him out, just tell him there need to be some ground rules.
Freddy collapses into a chair.
FREDDY
Ugh, in our family, we don’t just talk. We talk it to death, with references to case studies, until everything’s so over-analyzed we all just wish we drank it out like regular people.
LEAH
But you just said he’s in a bad place and needs help. Doesn’t that mean you need to be the one to reach out?
FREDDY
Damn it, you’re right. He came to me for a reason. If I’m going to be any good to him, I’ve got to make the effort.
He springs back up.
FREDDY
That’s it. I’m going to track him down, and… we’re going to hang, or… chill, or roll. Or whatever kids his age do to convey camaraderie and support.
LEAH
Yes. That conveys it.
FREDDY
So it’s settled. I’m going to do it.
He throws open his laptop and begins typing.
LEAH
What’s that for?
FREDDY
Checking the latest research on teen camaraderie and support. I hear there's a fascinating paper that just came out of Stanford on communication through Internet memes!
This occurs after previous scenes Day #15 - "Subtle but Unmistakeable Disappointment", Day #14 - The Cousins Crane, and Day #19 - Lucky Bear.
Day #20 - “Reaching Out”
From Frasier spinoff
By Phoebe Roberts
~~~
INT. ADJUNCT OFFICE - DAY
TITLE CARD: THE ARRANGEMENT
Leah is working at her desk while Freddy paces, ranting.
FREDDY
…and there’s music blasting through the whole place, but I can’t figure out where it’s coming from- until I go into my bedroom. And I walk in on him with his legs hooked over my headboard, doing sit-ups in his underwear in time to the beat of some screeching house mix, sweating like a pig into my sheets! And he just looks at me, upside down, all, “Sorry, bro, it’s the only thing heavy enough to anchor me!”
LEAH
Oh, the humanity.
FREDDY
But isn’t that outrageous?
LEAH
Dogs and cats, living together.
FREDDY
And you know what the worst part is? In the end, he’s hardly ever there! He just blows in long enough to clog up my shower drain, leave clothes everywhere, and get cracker crumbs in the Nutella.
LEAH
Why’s that a problem?
FREDDY
I’m sorry, you like finding somebody else’s boxer briefs tossed over a taxidermy bear?
LEAH
Better than over my ceiling fan like usual. But I mean that he’s never there. Wouldn’t that make it easier?
FREDDY
He’s treating the place like a cheap hotel.
LEAH
Yeah, when it's more like a charitable youth hostel. I’m sure it sucks that he’s messing the place up, but at least you don’t have to deal with him in your space all the time.
FREDDY
Well… it’s like he doesn’t want to spend any time with me at all!
LEAH
Do you want to spend time with him?
FREDDY
Well- no. Of course not. But you show up on your cousin’s doorstep, begging to crash, you could at least pretend you’re not completely using him for his spare room.
LEAH
So what are you going to do? Tell him it’s not working out?
FREDDY
I can’t do that! That’d be cruel!
LEAH
Why not? Hasn’t stopped you telling me.
FREDDY
He’s my cousin! He’s in a bad place right now, I can’t just throw him out.
LEAH
So don’t throw him out, just tell him there need to be some ground rules.
Freddy collapses into a chair.
FREDDY
Ugh, in our family, we don’t just talk. We talk it to death, with references to case studies, until everything’s so over-analyzed we all just wish we drank it out like regular people.
LEAH
But you just said he’s in a bad place and needs help. Doesn’t that mean you need to be the one to reach out?
FREDDY
Damn it, you’re right. He came to me for a reason. If I’m going to be any good to him, I’ve got to make the effort.
He springs back up.
FREDDY
That’s it. I’m going to track him down, and… we’re going to hang, or… chill, or roll. Or whatever kids his age do to convey camaraderie and support.
LEAH
Yes. That conveys it.
FREDDY
So it’s settled. I’m going to do it.
He throws open his laptop and begins typing.
LEAH
What’s that for?
FREDDY
Checking the latest research on teen camaraderie and support. I hear there's a fascinating paper that just came out of Stanford on communication through Internet memes!