Bored with my look
Feeling a bit burnt and overstretched lately, but it's not that bad. Been spending a lot of time lately running from one appointment to the next, which for me is always more exhausting if I have more things to do but I don't have to travel between them. Festival is coming up this weekend, which I'm super excited about, but I'm scrambling to make sure my new game Woodplum House is ready to go. The sheets are done, but there's lots of in-game bits and pieces and environmental stuff to put together, which is tricky. Between work and rehearsals, I'm slammed.
This kind of slight frustration usually comes out in me as some kind of vague discontent I direct at something I have an ability to fix or change, which I think explains why lately I've been super bored and annoyed at my appearance. I hate my hair and all my clothes right now, which likely has more to do with the fact that I can do something about it, but still is annoying me.
I kind of want to change my hair, but I think I would end up hating anything that I did to it. I have recently become weirdly fixated on the idea of getting an undercut, like Natalie Dormer has in the Hunger Games. I don't know why. It probably would look super stupid on me. But I've been thinking how they say everybody should do something crazy with their hair once in their life and I never have. And it's just hair, it grows back. I've even heard if you do it right you can make it so you can have enough hair to flip it down over the shaved part so you don't see it all the time. But my wardrobe is definitely not badass to be compatible with a look like that. And it'd probably look stupid, the idea of is unbearable to me and my Narcissus-like self-obsession.
The obvious response is, of course, "Why don't you just change it to a more conventional hairstyle?" Frankly because I'm concerned anything as simple as cutting it short would make me look like a soccer mom-- dorky, unflattering, with the air that you've given up. See above, Narciussus-like obsession with my own image. I guess there's dyeing it, but I'm generally not a fan of how non-professional dye jobs come out, and the salon ones are very expensive, not only to get but to maintain. I'm not sure any other hair color would suit me anyway; I have very classic fair-skinned brunette coloring.
I also want to throw out all my clothes. Recently I started a joke with myself, when I found myself getting dressed in the morning and not being totally happy with my look, "Well, today's not the day I'd like to run into Chris Evans, but it'll do," playing on the fact that he's from the area and occasionally returns to visit. But now it basically just feels like I'm embarrassed to be seen at all. Yes, not everything needs to be the gorgeous but low key, effortlessly chic but simple, not trying to hard but still totally sexy ensemble I would choose to win the heart of my celebrity crush, but I just hate everything and want to replace it all. Unfortunately that's also too expensive a proposition of me.
The wardrobe thing at least is very likely related to the fatigue of winter clothes, and feeling completely bored of all the layers and sweaters and stuff I've been forced to wear to keep warm. Once the weather really changes and I get to wear cute stuff I haven't touched in ages, I might cheer up. That would be nice, as my pocketbook would not like me to pitch out everything I own right now.
This kind of slight frustration usually comes out in me as some kind of vague discontent I direct at something I have an ability to fix or change, which I think explains why lately I've been super bored and annoyed at my appearance. I hate my hair and all my clothes right now, which likely has more to do with the fact that I can do something about it, but still is annoying me.
I kind of want to change my hair, but I think I would end up hating anything that I did to it. I have recently become weirdly fixated on the idea of getting an undercut, like Natalie Dormer has in the Hunger Games. I don't know why. It probably would look super stupid on me. But I've been thinking how they say everybody should do something crazy with their hair once in their life and I never have. And it's just hair, it grows back. I've even heard if you do it right you can make it so you can have enough hair to flip it down over the shaved part so you don't see it all the time. But my wardrobe is definitely not badass to be compatible with a look like that. And it'd probably look stupid, the idea of is unbearable to me and my Narcissus-like self-obsession.
The obvious response is, of course, "Why don't you just change it to a more conventional hairstyle?" Frankly because I'm concerned anything as simple as cutting it short would make me look like a soccer mom-- dorky, unflattering, with the air that you've given up. See above, Narciussus-like obsession with my own image. I guess there's dyeing it, but I'm generally not a fan of how non-professional dye jobs come out, and the salon ones are very expensive, not only to get but to maintain. I'm not sure any other hair color would suit me anyway; I have very classic fair-skinned brunette coloring.
I also want to throw out all my clothes. Recently I started a joke with myself, when I found myself getting dressed in the morning and not being totally happy with my look, "Well, today's not the day I'd like to run into Chris Evans, but it'll do," playing on the fact that he's from the area and occasionally returns to visit. But now it basically just feels like I'm embarrassed to be seen at all. Yes, not everything needs to be the gorgeous but low key, effortlessly chic but simple, not trying to hard but still totally sexy ensemble I would choose to win the heart of my celebrity crush, but I just hate everything and want to replace it all. Unfortunately that's also too expensive a proposition of me.
The wardrobe thing at least is very likely related to the fatigue of winter clothes, and feeling completely bored of all the layers and sweaters and stuff I've been forced to wear to keep warm. Once the weather really changes and I get to wear cute stuff I haven't touched in ages, I might cheer up. That would be nice, as my pocketbook would not like me to pitch out everything I own right now.