Most of my Bk entries for the past month or so .. not the pointless ones .. all for my sister
Feb:
22:
babysitting wasnt so bad .. i slept good after ..
flea market today .. and homework..
later
Jess
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my mom is crazy.
becasue me and my dad wait for the dryer to stop and don't realize hoe long it takes to stop and beacsue depending on what goes in the dryer it may be dry before it stops.. ao now she's going nuts and i just want to leave this house as fast as i can .. jesus she's such a fuckin nut..
shoot me pls .. or just come get me
call .. i dunno , something to make her shut up ..
it's not like we even did anythign wrong i was gone that's whay i never even knew it was going in the first place .. she needs to get some thearpy so she can leave me and dad alone ..
AAHHHHHH
23
FFicticious... i can't spell .. lol ..
Flameing Homosexual .. *that's my favorite*
lol .. love you melissa
xoxo
more rant later
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Well .. today was good times ..
school went by fast
and then i had bowling .. also kinda fast
then kurtis and I went to Subway and i decided to not spend money anymore cause I waste money like there's no tomorrow . Meh .. i;m stopping now !!!
unless i have cash on me
xoxo
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HOPEFULY I GET MY NEW GLASSES TMW!!!!!
i want them now
xoxo
Jess
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When you look closely.. people are so strange and so complicated.. that they're actually beautiful.
-You gotta have some faith.... faith that whatever sets us off in different directions is the same that'll ...bring us back together.
-Kisses are like tears, only the real ones you can't hold back
-"You make me hard, when I'm all soft inside. You see the truth, when I'm all stupified. if you don't go straight to my heart...without you everything just falls apart." - Trent Reznor
-Sometimes the people you don't know can bring you more smiles than the ones you do.
-Living might mean taking chances...but they're worth taking...loving might be a mistake...but it's worth making.
-Well, it was a million tiny little things that when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together...and I knew it. I knew the very first time I touched him. He was just taking my hand to help me out of his car, and it was like...magic.
-They say the eyes are the windows of the soul. I believe....there are things that the eyes can show..that a mouth cannot speak.
-Growing up is full of big moments. Some of them you can see coming from a mile away...and some you can't see at all.
-Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.
-How does it feel...how does it feel...to be on your own....with no direction home...like a complete unknown...like a rolling stone.
-It's hard to determine where to draw the line between not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe in
24
I got my glasses .. they are weird... becasue i can't relly tell waht color they are .. kinda purple kinda red .. kinda alot of colors depending on the light .. and the sunglasses rock they are my favorite i wish i coudl wear sunglasses all the time..
xoxo Jess
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25
thank peopel for noticing my new glasses .. well holly and katie ..
everyone else was like . they look like your old ones .. they are smaller .. much smaller and they are a totally different color
[Edit: I guess this is kind of where in the last entry about the glasses "don't say anything if you don't like them"]
well that's the end of my glasses rant .. not ment to offend anyone .. I just get irritated aobut everything
I LOVE YOU KURITS
____HAPPY______
***14 months***
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26
Well .. today is gonna suck ..
and it has so far so I guess it won't get much better ... and tmw is the bettle of the bands .. I'm kinda excited .. but I seem to be in a bad mood all the time and I get mad .. so . sorry people who think I'm actually mad .. but that's jsut the way I am .. it's not geting mad it's yelling adn if I really was mad I think you'd know it.
Sometimes it seems like nobody gets me
thanks everyone
xoxo
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28
The show
it was good enough .. there were only 2 bands that i HATED 2 that were ok and two that i liked .. lol ..
I wish that i had more confidence in stuff .. i feel like such a horrible person .. like i should shot myself for being the mega bitchey person that i am ..i don't deserve a few of the friends i have and i think a few of them don't derserve me .. i can only think of one but still .. ask if you really wanna know ..
J-Bo .. i heard some of you guys .. i'll say your one of the bands that i gave an alright to .. some of it was awesome .. and some wasnt .. being honest .. ...
Erin.. I LOVE YOU .. your awesome .. *kisses and hugs*
Melissa....you were dancing like lisa simpson when she got sick of that water in the fun place when her and bart had to get sent to live with patty and selma .. lol . it was funy ..
Sarah....TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS *i love it .. lol*
Kurits and Zach .. you guys did a god job..
awesome show ..
xoxo
Later
Jess
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my dad is making me do the recycling with him .. damn it i don't want to !!!!
and then i have bowling .. crappy .. yes .. and then i won't be home all night .. call the cell if you want to get ahold of me
Some people piss me off so much ..
i don't really want to talk about this i just wanted too rant a bit .. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...... this is somethign like what i was mad about before .. like a month ago maybe .. melissa .. funny story for you .. tee hee hee .. it makes me angry
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29
last night was alright ..
I had bowling and then Kurtis picked me up and we went to his house .. then ate supper and drove his sister to her friends house and then went to Zach's house for about 30 min and then Kurits, Sarah, Zach, Kerri and Nick and I went out to Kurit's house to watch the video of the show .. it was good times. Then when everyone went home we watched Party Monster .. I think that's what it was called .. it was kinda nuts .. but good in a weird way .. and then got up this morning and Kurits was actually there rather than at work where he usually is when I get up in the morning when I stay over .. and we think he has food poisioning from A&W be ate uncooked chicken at work and is now very ill .. I feel so bad I can't help .. anyone know what can help food poisioning?? .. now I have to make about 3 batches of cookies . 1 for Ian for fixing our computer .. 1 for a babyshower I am going to tmw for my cousin Lisa and the last ones so there are some cookies in my house .. ... xoxo
Jess
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March
1
that's 2 in the past two years ...
my cousin is due on April 7th .. and she had her shower today i cleaned up on the prizes .. yay....
well gone to watch some tv and wait for a call
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2
Well .. i went to school and was bored so went to melissa's physics class .. BORING .. and then i had writing and recess which was when i couldnt find anyone so i sat on the floor by myself .. and then i had geo and lunch and a yearbook meeting at lunch which i left at 12:30 .. i was so tired and didn't want ot go to school .. so i went home .. i'll get my math notes off dave tmw .. and then i will be caught up ..
does anyone want to lend me their math 4225 study guide?? i have to check my questions that i finished
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"I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it."
" A long decemeber and there is reason to believe maybe this year will be better then the last...i can't remember all the times i tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass."
"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."
"A moment, a single moment of true joy is more powerful then a lifetime of sorrow. "
"Truthfully I just really can't explain how this feels, its like I'm floating, I'm smiling again. I can't ignore you, because I've been waiting for you for so long. "
"Angels may not always come to you when you call them, but they come when you need them."
"Tomorrow holds only mystery & whose to say what might be,I know in you I've found a love so strong the sun & moon look on in jealousy "
"Never give up on the things that make you smile."
"You've got the most stumbling blue eyes Ive ever seen, and you've got the arms that make me melt away... when I close my eyes, I see your face, when I lick my lips, I can taste your smile, when I hear your name, my heart starts to race, but when I am without you, I feel empty."
"Everything changes eventually, thats just the way life is, you have no control over it. Suddenly people you think are always going to be there, they just disappear. People go on, and they move away.. and they grow up."
"Promises mean everything. "
"Sometimes you say the smallest thing, or smile, and it makes my entire day better"
"Best friends are the sisters God forgot to give you. "
"Love isn't who you can picture yourself with, it's who you can't picture yourself without"
"You have no reason to be jealous, I've never been untrue. So what's it really matter if they're looking? I'm only looking at you."(heidi .. I've learned to think of this)
"Always tell someone how you feel about them, you'll feel better when they know. "
"People wish upon the stars, hoping that one day their wishes will come true. I don't need to wish upon them anymore now that heaven's brought me to you."
" best friend is someone who sees the hurt in your eyes while your smile fooled everyone else!"
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4
Well .. I have provincials tmw .. leaving the bowling allies at 8:00 am .. ugh .. and i have to go buy some junk for the trip .. there are 6 of us staying in the same house .. how are 6 teenage girls going to get ready for a tournament in what one bathroom .. maybe .. oh my ..
well .. thanks to whomever wished me luck .. xoxo
back on sunday
Jess
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"A friend is someone who will walk the long way when you don't want to hop the fence."
"A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out."
"Stars are like friends; there's always some around, you just need to find your favorite one."
"The Mile: People come into our lives and walk with us a mile, and then because of circumstance they only stay a while. They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by, and then are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why. God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile, why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile."
"A special friend is a blessing that you should treasure with all your heart."
"Friends are like wedgies. They're intimately close. They know you're inner self. And it feels great when you pick out a good one!"
"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."
"Friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know that they're there."
"I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels, but I call them my best friends."
"The best friend you can have is one you can sit on the porch with and not say a word, then get up and feel like that was the best conversation you've ever had."
"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."
~Arnold Glasow
"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable."
~Dave Tyson Gentry
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four Cs. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably." ~Walt Disney
"change is never easy, you fight to hold on, you fight to let go."
"watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say take.my.breath.away "
-berlin, "take my breath away"
"and if you're ready to be my everything if you're ready to see it through this time and if you're ready for love then this i will bring but I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time..."
-fefe dobson, "everything"
"Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone.."
"can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel.
my heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel."
-the darkness, "i believe in a thing called love"
"just because we don't say certain things, doesn't mean we don't feel them.."
"please send me anythingbut signals that are mixed.."
-dashboard confessional, "again i go unnoticed"
"Think of all the fun you had. The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time."
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends." -Laurie Kuslansky-
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali
"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely." -Pam Brown
"Friends are treasures." -Horace Bruns
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." -Buddha
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"He who has a thousand friends Has not a friend to spare, While he who has one enemy Shall meet him everywhere." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." -Elbert Hubbard
"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" -Eugene Kennedy
"We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." -Joseph Roux
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow grow, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." -George Washington
"True friends stab you in the front." -Oscar Wilde
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6
WE WON!!!>>HOME TMW HOPEFULLY!!!!
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7
Stuck In Gander ..and very very pissed...Kurtis you have to help me with my homework!!
xoxo
help me
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8
we left gander today at about 11:45
.. and I got home at about 5:00 .. that's ok .. for the weather .. I wish that I could have gotten home yesterday!! damn gander .. I don't think I will ever say I'm bored again .. being there sucked so much.
ahh .. so I'm not going to school tmw becasue I have to do some work that I have to pass in that I did not have time to do today.. and then will be back ot school on wed. lol 2 day week for me!!! lol tee hee hee .. friday is sppirit day ..
xoxo
Jess
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9
School tmw ...
I have all my homework done and have to write out a million notes i;m sure for math .. ugh .. oh well ..
someone can you message me if you have the notes and i can borrow them for the night..
xoxo
Jess
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10
anyone going swimming??
well i did not like the geo center because i had nobody to really talk to .. none of the people that i hang out with were there so it was kinda boring for me...um .. Other than that school was ok ..
melissa crusified poor megan .. and it was bad .. omg ..
lol
well more later ..
xoxo
Jess
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13
Ok .. I didn't go to the party .. had other stuff to do .. sorry ..
Kurtis is staying at his house .. yay .. he's gonna save and be prepared to more out next time....
well .. that's all from me ..
ttyl
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"If it hurts to much to look back, and you're too scared to look ahead, then look beside you and I'll be there."
Today is gonna be one of thoes lets talk about everything reflection days .. I have a great feeling .. ever since last night .. and I can't seem to shake my weird smile .. oh my .. I am in a conversation . and helpful mood .. all my friends .. if you have anything you want to talk about and keep confedential.. or just someone to listen .. I'm here .. home or the cell .whatever ..
xoxo
Jess
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14
I love how I have nothing do do like every freaking day .. and when I ask people to do stuff .. nah .. but whatever .. I think I'm going to go out and get some food and rent some movies and have a "Jessica night" .. becasue I'm such a fuckin loner .. yea .. um .. if anyone wants to do anything call me .. cause I'm sure I'm here somewhere .. or driving around angryly..
[Edit: yay .. going to a movie!!]
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15
Movie last night was good .. weird . but good
my cheese cake is kinda weird .. but very good as well . it has coffee in it .. next one will be just new york style .. no coffee in it .. ick ..' well I have alot of work to do today .. so .. I'm gone .
xoxo
Jess
**call if you like**
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Anyone in World Geo at Booth .. can you tell me what Mr.Jesperson wants .. the stuff on the back of the sheet .. that are the guidelines for the essay .. i;m an idiot and left mine in school .. damn it!!
xoxo
Jess
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My weekned:
This weekend has been pretty good for me .. I didn't really do anything on Friday but work .. and shopped. On Sat I went to a party with the old gang ..well the people from last summer I hung out with them for a year and a half and then we just stopped it was weird. But it was good .. I have to call April some time this week and make plans for the weekend .. maybe steal her from Fal.. on Sunday I made a cheese cake(my first cheese cake ever) mocha moose something or other .. it's good .. then last night Meghan and I went to a Movie .. "secreat window' .. yea I can't spell for the life of me.. but meh .. the movie was good I like it .. and today I went tanning and wrote an essay and watched tv movies .. I suck .. well off to CSI Miami ..
xoxo
Love you all ..
so happy for some reason .. *hugs*
Jess
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18
What's going on this weekend .. well on saturday .. ?
Does anyone want to do something... I have no plans as of yet and am very unsure what I am going to do ..
xoxo
Jess
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I don't know lately .. I just seem to have this contempt for everyone .. so If I've yelled at you or sauced you more than normal .. don't take it personally .. I'm just being bitchey . .
xoxo
Jess
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One of my best friends pop died earlier today .. it's really sad but he can deal with these things well he hides his real emotions .. I'm sad .. his pop was great and fun and I loved him ..
*little tears*
I'll pray for him even though I'm not one to pray ..
xoxo
Jess
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21
Well Sarah and I went to Melissa's house and watched "school of rock"(Wicked Movie) .. but not before I had to drive my parents to the school dance .. yea .. they are cool .. or not .. I got home at 12:05 .. oohh .. crazy me.. off the road 5 min to late ..I'm such a jack ass .. oh well .... Um .. I'm .. bored .. TV sounds good right aobut now .. and a blanket . I think I might pop popcorn and watch lotr: two towers ... I'm so very bored now .. I can't wait for Melissa's sleep overs maybe you can be my billet parent for Nationals .. lol .. at least for one night
xoxo
*love you girls .. we shold do this more often *
Jess
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I hate everything .. nothign happens the way I want it to .. I have to finish my damn math assignment .. so .. bye
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I went to the funeral home .. it was sad .. and also kinda nice seeing and talking to people whom I havent in about a year and a half .. I liked it .. even though it was becasue of something horrible .. it also made me realize what a great boyfriend I have and how lucky I am that he's not a crazy lunatic .. I am very content right now .. but sad for other people as well .. oh well .. can never be to happy ..
xoxo
Jess
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22
Well ..
today I have basically no homework other than to write up a review .. but I don't know if I'm doing it .. are you melissa?? passing it in on wednesday sounds good to me .. man I'm so lazy .. there is a math test on friday but I don't know if I care enough about it .. but to Holly's I will go to study .. hopefully people go so they can make me understand .. I feel dumb with all thoes smart people around ..
xoox
Jess
{kitten to bring to Kurtis's house)
KITTEN ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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23
i;m so bored ... i hate it here and want to go home .. there is nothing for me to do but be on the internet and after a while it gets boring ... when someone says we won't be there long .. i think it means not long .. but it really means over an hour .. yea .. i havent been home yet and want to leave ... ugh ...
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24
..........ugh...........
[Does anyone have photoshop? .. pls pm me]
I want "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" to come out on video so Kurtis and I can have a Lord of the Rings night .. lol. I'such a loser...
Today is going good so far .. the stove in my house is getting fixed so I can be warm when I am in the basement my place(....Melissa ..I HATE SCHOOL....).. So .. Grad tables are kinda better than I thought . but it was very screwed up so sarah and I are together and Melissa , Krysta and Elina(maybe) .. and I heard they were trying to get the parents and the students to sit apart .. then we could all sit together which would be nice .. but I kinda want to sit with my dad .. * I'm a daddy's little girl * my mom can sit in the back all she wants I just want to sit with my dad .. oh I'm such a loser ...
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It's nice when you think nothing can ruin your good mood .. and then your parents go and be idiots ..
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26
NO kitten :(
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27
people fuckin suck .. and i just don't know how to feel .. it's like the world is spinning past me and i just don't know where to turn ...there is nobody around me ...and i;m just all alone ..
xoxo
Jess
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This morning was alright .. but I hope not to be home after I leave here at around 12:45.. even though I tink I will be.. and I don't know if I should take my car or if I should just get my dad to droop me off ..
oh my .. I hate this place as well as some other people at this moment ..
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So .. Bowling today .. lol .. yay ..
then I am gonna see if I can go out to supper .. maybe ..
well I have nothing intresting to say .. xoxo
Jess
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28
Watched Cold Creek Manor last night .. it wasnt that good .. and no flea market today :( .. oh well . I'll find something to do I usually do .. anyone want to do something today .. I'm bored ..
xoxo
Jess
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I'm starving .. there is nothing here to eat becasue my mom told my dad that I don't like hamburgers .. so he never made them .. and i love them .. damn her ....
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29
Today is the Day of Andrew Murrys funeral .. the school is quiet as the funeral is taking place and I would say well over one hundred kids are gone to pay their respects. I beleive that I did not know him well enough to go to something so personal to his family and it is for the people who knew him best and the people who need closure about this horrific even that has happened in our school. This is the last time I will speak about this and is only the second time I have spoken about it on BK at all .. ..
Rest In Peace
On a lighter note..:
My weekend was good...I can't really remember what I did on Friday .. I worked and went to Kurtis's and I don't know from there .. I wasn't drinking or anything . I just don't remember right now And saturday we basically babysitted and watched a movie ... it was still good times...
well that's enough for now ..
tanning and bowling after school. home around 7
xoxox
Jess
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I'll tell you what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smitter. "
"You will wonder where he is at night, you'll wonder if he's true. One moment you'll be happy, the next you'll be blue. If you get a chance to see him, your heart starts to dance. Your life revolves around him, there's nothing like romance. "
"A best friend is someone who sees the hurt in your eyes while your smile fooled everyone else!"
"Some people can't believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first. "
"It doesnt matter if you win by an inch or a mile... winning is winning. "
"Someday you'll kiss someone and know thats the person you're supposed to be kissing for the rest of your life."
"I can guarantee that there will be tough times, and I guarantee that one, or both of us will want out. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine now, then I will regret it for the rest of my life"
"You know that place between sleep and awake? Where you still remember dreaming? Well, that's where I'll be. That's where I will always love you. "
"Let the rainbow after the rain remind you that ..even when things are at their worst.. there's always gonna be something better to come. "
" Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting :) "
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30
School Sucks , I hate math .. and I hate alot of my classes .... soon there will be a strike and then maybe we will get off school early for easter holidays .. I sure hope so .. ...well I'm off to do thoes damn quizzes in people's journals becasue I'm bored ..
do my damn quiz!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?1. Am I cute?
2. Am I hot?
3. Am I sweet?
4. Am I crazy?
5. Am I loveable?
6. Am I funny?
7. Am I annoying?
8. Am I psycho?
9. Am I daring?
10. Am I a good person?
Would you..
12. Miss me if I was gone?
13. Listen to my problems?
15. Be a good friend?
Wouldya couldya..
16. Ever go out with me?
18. Kiss me?
20. Marry me if u could?
How well do you know me?
21. When's my birthday?
22. How old am I?
23. What school did I go to?
24. Do i have any siblings?
25. Who is my most current ex?
26. Who is my bestfriend?
27. Who am i crushing on/dating?
29. Favorite sport?
30. Favorite TV show?
31. Favorite song/songs?
32. Favorite music group?
If you could
36. Give me a new name, what would it be and why?
37. Hook me up with someone (real), who would it be and why?
38. Do one thing with me what would it be and why?
39. Drop me one piece of advice, what would it be?
Just a few questions
40.What do you love about me?
41. What do you hate about me?(seriously)
42. What is my best quality?
43. If you could change one thing about me what would it be?
44. What is your honest opinion of me?
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31
strike = no school in a few days .. so .. i;m pleased with that .. but it wil be boring and i'll have to work alot .. dam n my life ...
there is nothing ot do anymore i can't even amuse myself .. there nothing to do today .. and i want to do something .. what's happening the weekend>
xoxo
Jess
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Well . I've decided alot of things today . and none of them have been to go to quebec or not .. man I'm such an idiot .. I mean .. will I even end up hanging out with my friends in the summer ... I don't hang out with them much now so what would really change.. Nothing .. nothing at all , I'd just be in a different province not hanging out with them .. I mean really .. but anyway the decision has to be made by friday and nobody has been of any help in helping me make a decision .. it's nice that nobody cares .. whatever .. I'm just in a bad mood don't take anything to heart
.. "as the world smiles down on me I find no reason to smile back" -me
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So full of anger .. [Sorry about my rant]
i don't know what's wrong with me .. i think i might be swaying towards going...
eep
and nobody will talk to me .. what did I do >
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April
1
Today is the deciding day .. oh my .. what to do ..
POLL:
Yes []
No []
pls check a box
Go away to Quebec for 5 weeks( go and do clases and have some free time) .. learn some french .. or stay here , work, row, and hang out with my friends .... I'm leaning towards staying... but I want other people's input because I can't make decisions on my own let alone big ones
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2
OK . I'm going .. well so far that's the plan
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3
My Egg
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4
I love how i have to force people to do things with me .. yea .. wel not force but basically invite myself .. yea .. I might as well write LOSER on my head in permanant marker
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5
I hope that Nobody takes anythign I say to heart becasue it's just a rant .. all the time.. sometimes an angry rant but a rant nonetheless.. so .. it's just my anger at the moment ..
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Damn it .. i can't go to Salmon Fest.. becasue of Quebec .. damn
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Happy Now Andrea??
22:
babysitting wasnt so bad .. i slept good after ..
flea market today .. and homework..
later
Jess
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my mom is crazy.
becasue me and my dad wait for the dryer to stop and don't realize hoe long it takes to stop and beacsue depending on what goes in the dryer it may be dry before it stops.. ao now she's going nuts and i just want to leave this house as fast as i can .. jesus she's such a fuckin nut..
shoot me pls .. or just come get me
call .. i dunno , something to make her shut up ..
it's not like we even did anythign wrong i was gone that's whay i never even knew it was going in the first place .. she needs to get some thearpy so she can leave me and dad alone ..
AAHHHHHH
23
FFicticious... i can't spell .. lol ..
Flameing Homosexual .. *that's my favorite*
lol .. love you melissa
xoxo
more rant later
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Well .. today was good times ..
school went by fast
and then i had bowling .. also kinda fast
then kurtis and I went to Subway and i decided to not spend money anymore cause I waste money like there's no tomorrow . Meh .. i;m stopping now !!!
unless i have cash on me
xoxo
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HOPEFULY I GET MY NEW GLASSES TMW!!!!!
i want them now
xoxo
Jess
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When you look closely.. people are so strange and so complicated.. that they're actually beautiful.
-You gotta have some faith.... faith that whatever sets us off in different directions is the same that'll ...bring us back together.
-Kisses are like tears, only the real ones you can't hold back
-"You make me hard, when I'm all soft inside. You see the truth, when I'm all stupified. if you don't go straight to my heart...without you everything just falls apart." - Trent Reznor
-Sometimes the people you don't know can bring you more smiles than the ones you do.
-Living might mean taking chances...but they're worth taking...loving might be a mistake...but it's worth making.
-Well, it was a million tiny little things that when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together...and I knew it. I knew the very first time I touched him. He was just taking my hand to help me out of his car, and it was like...magic.
-They say the eyes are the windows of the soul. I believe....there are things that the eyes can show..that a mouth cannot speak.
-Growing up is full of big moments. Some of them you can see coming from a mile away...and some you can't see at all.
-Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.
-How does it feel...how does it feel...to be on your own....with no direction home...like a complete unknown...like a rolling stone.
-It's hard to determine where to draw the line between not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe in
24
I got my glasses .. they are weird... becasue i can't relly tell waht color they are .. kinda purple kinda red .. kinda alot of colors depending on the light .. and the sunglasses rock they are my favorite i wish i coudl wear sunglasses all the time..
xoxo Jess
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25
thank peopel for noticing my new glasses .. well holly and katie ..
everyone else was like . they look like your old ones .. they are smaller .. much smaller and they are a totally different color
[Edit: I guess this is kind of where in the last entry about the glasses "don't say anything if you don't like them"]
well that's the end of my glasses rant .. not ment to offend anyone .. I just get irritated aobut everything
I LOVE YOU KURITS
____HAPPY______
***14 months***
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26
Well .. today is gonna suck ..
and it has so far so I guess it won't get much better ... and tmw is the bettle of the bands .. I'm kinda excited .. but I seem to be in a bad mood all the time and I get mad .. so . sorry people who think I'm actually mad .. but that's jsut the way I am .. it's not geting mad it's yelling adn if I really was mad I think you'd know it.
Sometimes it seems like nobody gets me
thanks everyone
xoxo
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28
The show
it was good enough .. there were only 2 bands that i HATED 2 that were ok and two that i liked .. lol ..
I wish that i had more confidence in stuff .. i feel like such a horrible person .. like i should shot myself for being the mega bitchey person that i am ..i don't deserve a few of the friends i have and i think a few of them don't derserve me .. i can only think of one but still .. ask if you really wanna know ..
J-Bo .. i heard some of you guys .. i'll say your one of the bands that i gave an alright to .. some of it was awesome .. and some wasnt .. being honest .. ...
Erin.. I LOVE YOU .. your awesome .. *kisses and hugs*
Melissa....you were dancing like lisa simpson when she got sick of that water in the fun place when her and bart had to get sent to live with patty and selma .. lol . it was funy ..
Sarah....TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS *i love it .. lol*
Kurits and Zach .. you guys did a god job..
awesome show ..
xoxo
Later
Jess
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my dad is making me do the recycling with him .. damn it i don't want to !!!!
and then i have bowling .. crappy .. yes .. and then i won't be home all night .. call the cell if you want to get ahold of me
Some people piss me off so much ..
i don't really want to talk about this i just wanted too rant a bit .. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...... this is somethign like what i was mad about before .. like a month ago maybe .. melissa .. funny story for you .. tee hee hee .. it makes me angry
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29
last night was alright ..
I had bowling and then Kurtis picked me up and we went to his house .. then ate supper and drove his sister to her friends house and then went to Zach's house for about 30 min and then Kurits, Sarah, Zach, Kerri and Nick and I went out to Kurit's house to watch the video of the show .. it was good times. Then when everyone went home we watched Party Monster .. I think that's what it was called .. it was kinda nuts .. but good in a weird way .. and then got up this morning and Kurits was actually there rather than at work where he usually is when I get up in the morning when I stay over .. and we think he has food poisioning from A&W be ate uncooked chicken at work and is now very ill .. I feel so bad I can't help .. anyone know what can help food poisioning?? .. now I have to make about 3 batches of cookies . 1 for Ian for fixing our computer .. 1 for a babyshower I am going to tmw for my cousin Lisa and the last ones so there are some cookies in my house .. ... xoxo
Jess
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March
1
that's 2 in the past two years ...
my cousin is due on April 7th .. and she had her shower today i cleaned up on the prizes .. yay....
well gone to watch some tv and wait for a call
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2
Well .. i went to school and was bored so went to melissa's physics class .. BORING .. and then i had writing and recess which was when i couldnt find anyone so i sat on the floor by myself .. and then i had geo and lunch and a yearbook meeting at lunch which i left at 12:30 .. i was so tired and didn't want ot go to school .. so i went home .. i'll get my math notes off dave tmw .. and then i will be caught up ..
does anyone want to lend me their math 4225 study guide?? i have to check my questions that i finished
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"I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it."
" A long decemeber and there is reason to believe maybe this year will be better then the last...i can't remember all the times i tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass."
"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."
"A moment, a single moment of true joy is more powerful then a lifetime of sorrow. "
"Truthfully I just really can't explain how this feels, its like I'm floating, I'm smiling again. I can't ignore you, because I've been waiting for you for so long. "
"Angels may not always come to you when you call them, but they come when you need them."
"Tomorrow holds only mystery & whose to say what might be,I know in you I've found a love so strong the sun & moon look on in jealousy "
"Never give up on the things that make you smile."
"You've got the most stumbling blue eyes Ive ever seen, and you've got the arms that make me melt away... when I close my eyes, I see your face, when I lick my lips, I can taste your smile, when I hear your name, my heart starts to race, but when I am without you, I feel empty."
"Everything changes eventually, thats just the way life is, you have no control over it. Suddenly people you think are always going to be there, they just disappear. People go on, and they move away.. and they grow up."
"Promises mean everything. "
"Sometimes you say the smallest thing, or smile, and it makes my entire day better"
"Best friends are the sisters God forgot to give you. "
"Love isn't who you can picture yourself with, it's who you can't picture yourself without"
"You have no reason to be jealous, I've never been untrue. So what's it really matter if they're looking? I'm only looking at you."(heidi .. I've learned to think of this)
"Always tell someone how you feel about them, you'll feel better when they know. "
"People wish upon the stars, hoping that one day their wishes will come true. I don't need to wish upon them anymore now that heaven's brought me to you."
" best friend is someone who sees the hurt in your eyes while your smile fooled everyone else!"
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4
Well .. I have provincials tmw .. leaving the bowling allies at 8:00 am .. ugh .. and i have to go buy some junk for the trip .. there are 6 of us staying in the same house .. how are 6 teenage girls going to get ready for a tournament in what one bathroom .. maybe .. oh my ..
well .. thanks to whomever wished me luck .. xoxo
back on sunday
Jess
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"A friend is someone who will walk the long way when you don't want to hop the fence."
"A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out."
"Stars are like friends; there's always some around, you just need to find your favorite one."
"The Mile: People come into our lives and walk with us a mile, and then because of circumstance they only stay a while. They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by, and then are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why. God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile, why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile."
"A special friend is a blessing that you should treasure with all your heart."
"Friends are like wedgies. They're intimately close. They know you're inner self. And it feels great when you pick out a good one!"
"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."
"Friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know that they're there."
"I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels, but I call them my best friends."
"The best friend you can have is one you can sit on the porch with and not say a word, then get up and feel like that was the best conversation you've ever had."
"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."
~Arnold Glasow
"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable."
~Dave Tyson Gentry
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four Cs. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably." ~Walt Disney
"change is never easy, you fight to hold on, you fight to let go."
"watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say take.my.breath.away "
-berlin, "take my breath away"
"and if you're ready to be my everything if you're ready to see it through this time and if you're ready for love then this i will bring but I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time..."
-fefe dobson, "everything"
"Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone.."
"can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel.
my heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel."
-the darkness, "i believe in a thing called love"
"just because we don't say certain things, doesn't mean we don't feel them.."
"please send me anythingbut signals that are mixed.."
-dashboard confessional, "again i go unnoticed"
"Think of all the fun you had. The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time."
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends." -Laurie Kuslansky-
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali
"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely." -Pam Brown
"Friends are treasures." -Horace Bruns
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." -Buddha
"The only way to have a friend is to be one." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"He who has a thousand friends Has not a friend to spare, While he who has one enemy Shall meet him everywhere." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." -Elbert Hubbard
"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" -Eugene Kennedy
"We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." -Joseph Roux
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow grow, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." -George Washington
"True friends stab you in the front." -Oscar Wilde
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6
WE WON!!!>>HOME TMW HOPEFULLY!!!!
____________________________________________________________
7
Stuck In Gander ..and very very pissed...Kurtis you have to help me with my homework!!
xoxo
help me
_____________________________________________________________
8
we left gander today at about 11:45
.. and I got home at about 5:00 .. that's ok .. for the weather .. I wish that I could have gotten home yesterday!! damn gander .. I don't think I will ever say I'm bored again .. being there sucked so much.
ahh .. so I'm not going to school tmw becasue I have to do some work that I have to pass in that I did not have time to do today.. and then will be back ot school on wed. lol 2 day week for me!!! lol tee hee hee .. friday is sppirit day ..
xoxo
Jess
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9
School tmw ...
I have all my homework done and have to write out a million notes i;m sure for math .. ugh .. oh well ..
someone can you message me if you have the notes and i can borrow them for the night..
xoxo
Jess
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10
anyone going swimming??
well i did not like the geo center because i had nobody to really talk to .. none of the people that i hang out with were there so it was kinda boring for me...um .. Other than that school was ok ..
melissa crusified poor megan .. and it was bad .. omg ..
lol
well more later ..
xoxo
Jess
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13
Ok .. I didn't go to the party .. had other stuff to do .. sorry ..
Kurtis is staying at his house .. yay .. he's gonna save and be prepared to more out next time....
well .. that's all from me ..
ttyl
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"If it hurts to much to look back, and you're too scared to look ahead, then look beside you and I'll be there."
Today is gonna be one of thoes lets talk about everything reflection days .. I have a great feeling .. ever since last night .. and I can't seem to shake my weird smile .. oh my .. I am in a conversation . and helpful mood .. all my friends .. if you have anything you want to talk about and keep confedential.. or just someone to listen .. I'm here .. home or the cell .whatever ..
xoxo
Jess
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14
I love how I have nothing do do like every freaking day .. and when I ask people to do stuff .. nah .. but whatever .. I think I'm going to go out and get some food and rent some movies and have a "Jessica night" .. becasue I'm such a fuckin loner .. yea .. um .. if anyone wants to do anything call me .. cause I'm sure I'm here somewhere .. or driving around angryly..
[Edit: yay .. going to a movie!!]
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15
Movie last night was good .. weird . but good
my cheese cake is kinda weird .. but very good as well . it has coffee in it .. next one will be just new york style .. no coffee in it .. ick ..' well I have alot of work to do today .. so .. I'm gone .
xoxo
Jess
**call if you like**
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Anyone in World Geo at Booth .. can you tell me what Mr.Jesperson wants .. the stuff on the back of the sheet .. that are the guidelines for the essay .. i;m an idiot and left mine in school .. damn it!!
xoxo
Jess
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My weekned:
This weekend has been pretty good for me .. I didn't really do anything on Friday but work .. and shopped. On Sat I went to a party with the old gang ..well the people from last summer I hung out with them for a year and a half and then we just stopped it was weird. But it was good .. I have to call April some time this week and make plans for the weekend .. maybe steal her from Fal.. on Sunday I made a cheese cake(my first cheese cake ever) mocha moose something or other .. it's good .. then last night Meghan and I went to a Movie .. "secreat window' .. yea I can't spell for the life of me.. but meh .. the movie was good I like it .. and today I went tanning and wrote an essay and watched tv movies .. I suck .. well off to CSI Miami ..
xoxo
Love you all ..
so happy for some reason .. *hugs*
Jess
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18
What's going on this weekend .. well on saturday .. ?
Does anyone want to do something... I have no plans as of yet and am very unsure what I am going to do ..
xoxo
Jess
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I don't know lately .. I just seem to have this contempt for everyone .. so If I've yelled at you or sauced you more than normal .. don't take it personally .. I'm just being bitchey . .
xoxo
Jess
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One of my best friends pop died earlier today .. it's really sad but he can deal with these things well he hides his real emotions .. I'm sad .. his pop was great and fun and I loved him ..
*little tears*
I'll pray for him even though I'm not one to pray ..
xoxo
Jess
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21
Well Sarah and I went to Melissa's house and watched "school of rock"(Wicked Movie) .. but not before I had to drive my parents to the school dance .. yea .. they are cool .. or not .. I got home at 12:05 .. oohh .. crazy me.. off the road 5 min to late ..I'm such a jack ass .. oh well .... Um .. I'm .. bored .. TV sounds good right aobut now .. and a blanket . I think I might pop popcorn and watch lotr: two towers ... I'm so very bored now .. I can't wait for Melissa's sleep overs maybe you can be my billet parent for Nationals .. lol .. at least for one night
xoxo
*love you girls .. we shold do this more often *
Jess
_____________________________________________________________
I hate everything .. nothign happens the way I want it to .. I have to finish my damn math assignment .. so .. bye
_____________________________________________________________
I went to the funeral home .. it was sad .. and also kinda nice seeing and talking to people whom I havent in about a year and a half .. I liked it .. even though it was becasue of something horrible .. it also made me realize what a great boyfriend I have and how lucky I am that he's not a crazy lunatic .. I am very content right now .. but sad for other people as well .. oh well .. can never be to happy ..
xoxo
Jess
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22
Well ..
today I have basically no homework other than to write up a review .. but I don't know if I'm doing it .. are you melissa?? passing it in on wednesday sounds good to me .. man I'm so lazy .. there is a math test on friday but I don't know if I care enough about it .. but to Holly's I will go to study .. hopefully people go so they can make me understand .. I feel dumb with all thoes smart people around ..
xoox
Jess
{kitten to bring to Kurtis's house)
KITTEN ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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23
i;m so bored ... i hate it here and want to go home .. there is nothing for me to do but be on the internet and after a while it gets boring ... when someone says we won't be there long .. i think it means not long .. but it really means over an hour .. yea .. i havent been home yet and want to leave ... ugh ...
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24
..........ugh...........
[Does anyone have photoshop? .. pls pm me]
I want "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" to come out on video so Kurtis and I can have a Lord of the Rings night .. lol. I'such a loser...
Today is going good so far .. the stove in my house is getting fixed so I can be warm when I am in the basement my place(....Melissa ..I HATE SCHOOL....).. So .. Grad tables are kinda better than I thought . but it was very screwed up so sarah and I are together and Melissa , Krysta and Elina(maybe) .. and I heard they were trying to get the parents and the students to sit apart .. then we could all sit together which would be nice .. but I kinda want to sit with my dad .. * I'm a daddy's little girl * my mom can sit in the back all she wants I just want to sit with my dad .. oh I'm such a loser ...
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It's nice when you think nothing can ruin your good mood .. and then your parents go and be idiots ..
____________________________________________________________
26
NO kitten :(
_____________________________________________________________
27
people fuckin suck .. and i just don't know how to feel .. it's like the world is spinning past me and i just don't know where to turn ...there is nobody around me ...and i;m just all alone ..
xoxo
Jess
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This morning was alright .. but I hope not to be home after I leave here at around 12:45.. even though I tink I will be.. and I don't know if I should take my car or if I should just get my dad to droop me off ..
oh my .. I hate this place as well as some other people at this moment ..
_____________________________________________________________
So .. Bowling today .. lol .. yay ..
then I am gonna see if I can go out to supper .. maybe ..
well I have nothing intresting to say .. xoxo
Jess
____________________________________________________________
28
Watched Cold Creek Manor last night .. it wasnt that good .. and no flea market today :( .. oh well . I'll find something to do I usually do .. anyone want to do something today .. I'm bored ..
xoxo
Jess
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I'm starving .. there is nothing here to eat becasue my mom told my dad that I don't like hamburgers .. so he never made them .. and i love them .. damn her ....
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29
Today is the Day of Andrew Murrys funeral .. the school is quiet as the funeral is taking place and I would say well over one hundred kids are gone to pay their respects. I beleive that I did not know him well enough to go to something so personal to his family and it is for the people who knew him best and the people who need closure about this horrific even that has happened in our school. This is the last time I will speak about this and is only the second time I have spoken about it on BK at all .. ..
Rest In Peace
On a lighter note..:
My weekend was good...I can't really remember what I did on Friday .. I worked and went to Kurtis's and I don't know from there .. I wasn't drinking or anything . I just don't remember right now And saturday we basically babysitted and watched a movie ... it was still good times...
well that's enough for now ..
tanning and bowling after school. home around 7
xoxox
Jess
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I'll tell you what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smitter. "
"You will wonder where he is at night, you'll wonder if he's true. One moment you'll be happy, the next you'll be blue. If you get a chance to see him, your heart starts to dance. Your life revolves around him, there's nothing like romance. "
"A best friend is someone who sees the hurt in your eyes while your smile fooled everyone else!"
"Some people can't believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first. "
"It doesnt matter if you win by an inch or a mile... winning is winning. "
"Someday you'll kiss someone and know thats the person you're supposed to be kissing for the rest of your life."
"I can guarantee that there will be tough times, and I guarantee that one, or both of us will want out. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine now, then I will regret it for the rest of my life"
"You know that place between sleep and awake? Where you still remember dreaming? Well, that's where I'll be. That's where I will always love you. "
"Let the rainbow after the rain remind you that ..even when things are at their worst.. there's always gonna be something better to come. "
" Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting :) "
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30
School Sucks , I hate math .. and I hate alot of my classes .... soon there will be a strike and then maybe we will get off school early for easter holidays .. I sure hope so .. ...well I'm off to do thoes damn quizzes in people's journals becasue I'm bored ..
do my damn quiz!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?1. Am I cute?
2. Am I hot?
3. Am I sweet?
4. Am I crazy?
5. Am I loveable?
6. Am I funny?
7. Am I annoying?
8. Am I psycho?
9. Am I daring?
10. Am I a good person?
Would you..
12. Miss me if I was gone?
13. Listen to my problems?
15. Be a good friend?
Wouldya couldya..
16. Ever go out with me?
18. Kiss me?
20. Marry me if u could?
How well do you know me?
21. When's my birthday?
22. How old am I?
23. What school did I go to?
24. Do i have any siblings?
25. Who is my most current ex?
26. Who is my bestfriend?
27. Who am i crushing on/dating?
29. Favorite sport?
30. Favorite TV show?
31. Favorite song/songs?
32. Favorite music group?
If you could
36. Give me a new name, what would it be and why?
37. Hook me up with someone (real), who would it be and why?
38. Do one thing with me what would it be and why?
39. Drop me one piece of advice, what would it be?
Just a few questions
40.What do you love about me?
41. What do you hate about me?(seriously)
42. What is my best quality?
43. If you could change one thing about me what would it be?
44. What is your honest opinion of me?
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31
strike = no school in a few days .. so .. i;m pleased with that .. but it wil be boring and i'll have to work alot .. dam n my life ...
there is nothing ot do anymore i can't even amuse myself .. there nothing to do today .. and i want to do something .. what's happening the weekend>
xoxo
Jess
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Well . I've decided alot of things today . and none of them have been to go to quebec or not .. man I'm such an idiot .. I mean .. will I even end up hanging out with my friends in the summer ... I don't hang out with them much now so what would really change.. Nothing .. nothing at all , I'd just be in a different province not hanging out with them .. I mean really .. but anyway the decision has to be made by friday and nobody has been of any help in helping me make a decision .. it's nice that nobody cares .. whatever .. I'm just in a bad mood don't take anything to heart
.. "as the world smiles down on me I find no reason to smile back" -me
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So full of anger .. [Sorry about my rant]
i don't know what's wrong with me .. i think i might be swaying towards going...
eep
and nobody will talk to me .. what did I do >
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April
1
Today is the deciding day .. oh my .. what to do ..
POLL:
Yes []
No []
pls check a box
Go away to Quebec for 5 weeks( go and do clases and have some free time) .. learn some french .. or stay here , work, row, and hang out with my friends .... I'm leaning towards staying... but I want other people's input because I can't make decisions on my own let alone big ones
____________________________________________________________
2
OK . I'm going .. well so far that's the plan
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3
My Egg
_____________________________________________________________
4
I love how i have to force people to do things with me .. yea .. wel not force but basically invite myself .. yea .. I might as well write LOSER on my head in permanant marker
_____________________________________________________________
5
I hope that Nobody takes anythign I say to heart becasue it's just a rant .. all the time.. sometimes an angry rant but a rant nonetheless.. so .. it's just my anger at the moment ..
_____________________________________________________________
Damn it .. i can't go to Salmon Fest.. becasue of Quebec .. damn
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Happy Now Andrea??