discovered
A girl in her heart
she finally had a start
a start of her new life that she never knew
but as she found this life she found that she grew
she wouldnt stop growing
her life just kept flowing
but she will never forget all of the places she's been
and never forget the relationships she built and all of her friends
she will always keep that special ( Read more... )
i find myself going over this time and time again in my head. at night, when i'm alone, when i'm not talking, whenever i think, or whenever i breath. i find myself saying these words over and over, fixing words, practicing tones, changing emotions, trying to make it flawless, perfect, the best for you, the best i can do. trying to make it what i wasn't, what i couldn't be yet. it is far too important to write what i have to say on this, i'd rather tell you, at least voice to voice since face to face wont be possible for a while.... anyway, that way nothing gets twisted or confused and no more hurt is inflicted on you. at least you will be free from this numbing pain. so i ask that you will listen to what i have to say just one more time if not more, and i know what your thinking, and i know you know i know what you're thinking if that makes sense, (el oh el)** but i'm not trying to bring drama, I'M NOT, I SWEAR I'M NOT. i just think that you need to hear these last few things from me, ME, PAT, PATTY CAKES, PAT-MAN, before it is too late... so i'll call you either tonight or tomorrow. i'll save it all for then, hopefully it will be in one big wave of pure conviction, veracity, emotion. it must be flawless, it must be PERFECT. its funny how things work out isn't it? i find myself saying that a lot too. maybe i'm trying to compensate for not blaming myself for what has become of us. but anyway i've poured out a little too much on this already, but its just cause i don't want to leave anything out. if i do, i don't think i'll ever rest. this letter has definitely become longer than i planed though, so much for "just saying hi" haha. (i'll probably end up saying a lot of this again, so i'm sorry, but i'll try to do my best.) yea but for now i'll say this: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. i just wish i could find such peace and happiness....
i just wish i was the one there with you, if anything, to at least see the joy in your eyes...
i just wish i could see that look that you do, the one i love so much, the one that is not mine anymore, at least just once more, to hold me off a little longer...
i just wish you could look into my eyes.
it would save the use of words....
Reply
Leave a comment