why don't they understand!?

[breaking_yoli]

God I want to cry. May be not so dramatic.. I just.. I really wish I had a punching bag. I didn't ask for what happened to happen. I didn't want it to happen. I was the one that got hurt and felt used and not worth crap, so why are they made at me!? Am I just supposed to completely disregard my feelings and pretend that what I feel doesn't matter? Just to make THEM happy? NO.. I'm not going to. I wish it was the last day of my senior year. I'd be leaving this place behind. I hate texas.. more specifically I hate baytown, and the people in it. It's all about 'image' here, and showing off and making sure you're better than every one else. What happened to just being happy? Now it looks like happiness is quite over rated, no one ever REALLY achieves happiness anymore. I wish someone.. just ONE person could understand why I can't just put this all behind me like it never happened. And it doesn't help at all when they say they miss me, and that they just want another chance. It makes me feel even more like shit for saying no.. but I CAN'T.. what the hell is wrong with this world? do you think the people in it LIKE being hurt? No? exactly.. so why do you think i'd want to be?

They hold it all together, as I stand back in envy
is there a hurting heart behind that smile?
a WORLD of hurting hearts a few broken generations
in a world of commitment you very quickly learn to justify you actions
but it seems like they've got it all and all i have is you
wait, how can i entertain these thoughts of a life with a day and a world full of hate
i still hold on to a hope for you and me
yeah i still hold on to this foolish hope
take it or leave it it's ONLY a matter of life or death