Lately
Usually I go and vent on my Facebook but I hate that everyone I know can read my stuff and then they're questioning every little thing. Finally I remembered I had a Livejournal that no one knows about. So here we go...
I met a guy. His name is Rob and he is absolutely amazing. Or at least he was in the beginning. We met and we just clicked; the third time we ever hung out, we sat in front of my house and talked for two hours about everything. Later on, I trusted him enough to tell him about my Mom and about everything that had happened with Steve. I told him that I used to smoke even though I know he absolutely hates smoking of any kind.
Everything was going great, we were hanging out every weekend and having so much fun. Kelcie and Chris, our mutual friends, told me that he liked me and told him that I liked him even though, by then, it as pretty obvious. So we continued to hang out but he wouldn't make a move and I was getting really frustrated. So one night we were talking and he said he's not ready for a relationship yet. That was totally cool with me because he's only been in like three relationships, one after another, the first one lasted 6 years. I understand not wanting to rush into a relationship after all that so that didn't bother me. We decided that we were just going to hook up with one another which we did, twice in one night. But since then everything has gone to shit.
He used to to text me every morning and now he only texts me when he's bored at work and our conversations used to be long and fun and now they barely last ten minutes. I used to see him every weekend but now I haven't seen him since the day after we hooked up and that was for an hour because he was sick and went home. He tells me all about these girls that flirt and dance with him at the club he goes to and I'm just sitting there thinking, "I don't care". You want to go to the club and hook up with a bunch of chicks, that's cool but don't tell me about it. It's annoying. Whenever I talk to another guy in front of him he gets jealous and starts flirting with another girl. Seriously? Are we high school? It's so frustrating. I feel like he's keeping me on stand by for when he does want a relationship again and that's not fair to me. He's not the guy I met three months ago that could make me laugh with a stupid joke.
When I first met him I thought I wasn't good enough for him because he is perfect. He's really smart, he has a full time job and goes to school, he goes to the gym every day, he's amazing at every sport, and he barely ever drink and never smokes. I just felt so inferior to him. But then when we would hang out, he would open doors for me and act like I was the most amazing person in the world and that made me feel great. But now, I'm back to feeling like I'm not good enough for him anymore.
I am so confused and I don't know what I should do. Everyone thinks I should talk to him about it but I feel like that's not my place. I also don't want him to get mad at me. So I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm glad I got to type it all out and just get it out of my head for a little bit. Maybe when things do get resolved, I'll come back and write about it.
I met a guy. His name is Rob and he is absolutely amazing. Or at least he was in the beginning. We met and we just clicked; the third time we ever hung out, we sat in front of my house and talked for two hours about everything. Later on, I trusted him enough to tell him about my Mom and about everything that had happened with Steve. I told him that I used to smoke even though I know he absolutely hates smoking of any kind.
Everything was going great, we were hanging out every weekend and having so much fun. Kelcie and Chris, our mutual friends, told me that he liked me and told him that I liked him even though, by then, it as pretty obvious. So we continued to hang out but he wouldn't make a move and I was getting really frustrated. So one night we were talking and he said he's not ready for a relationship yet. That was totally cool with me because he's only been in like three relationships, one after another, the first one lasted 6 years. I understand not wanting to rush into a relationship after all that so that didn't bother me. We decided that we were just going to hook up with one another which we did, twice in one night. But since then everything has gone to shit.
He used to to text me every morning and now he only texts me when he's bored at work and our conversations used to be long and fun and now they barely last ten minutes. I used to see him every weekend but now I haven't seen him since the day after we hooked up and that was for an hour because he was sick and went home. He tells me all about these girls that flirt and dance with him at the club he goes to and I'm just sitting there thinking, "I don't care". You want to go to the club and hook up with a bunch of chicks, that's cool but don't tell me about it. It's annoying. Whenever I talk to another guy in front of him he gets jealous and starts flirting with another girl. Seriously? Are we high school? It's so frustrating. I feel like he's keeping me on stand by for when he does want a relationship again and that's not fair to me. He's not the guy I met three months ago that could make me laugh with a stupid joke.
When I first met him I thought I wasn't good enough for him because he is perfect. He's really smart, he has a full time job and goes to school, he goes to the gym every day, he's amazing at every sport, and he barely ever drink and never smokes. I just felt so inferior to him. But then when we would hang out, he would open doors for me and act like I was the most amazing person in the world and that made me feel great. But now, I'm back to feeling like I'm not good enough for him anymore.
I am so confused and I don't know what I should do. Everyone thinks I should talk to him about it but I feel like that's not my place. I also don't want him to get mad at me. So I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm glad I got to type it all out and just get it out of my head for a little bit. Maybe when things do get resolved, I'll come back and write about it.