2006-2010
I have dream about 2010 for the longest time...
I used to dream about 2006 because that was the year I graduated from high school. I now have anticipated for 2010 because this is the year I will be graduating from college. I never thought that this year would come. It seems like since 4 years ago time has done nothing but speed at 100+ mph.
...It's crazy...
2006 turned out the be the best and the worst year because I fell out of a relationship and into a new one that has now been going on for 3 years.
I must admit that my college life wasn't what I expected it to be. I met and still am meeting new people, involved and a busy bee. But I never thought I would get as sad and upset as I did because I was determined to start a new life in college. I wanted to have fun.
But, the majority of my time during the school year was full of drama, which actually happened outside of school. Some people would not leave me alone and some people would just forget about me. I literally only had a few people who have been always there for me when I needed them the most.
Those few people know the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.
Those are the people who understand me the most and fully.
I am eternally grateful for them (and they should know who they are). ^__~
However, there was one person in my life who I cherished deeply no matter how many times they broke my heart or stomped on it and took advantage of it. It took me 3.5 years for me to learn the hard way that this person is just no good in my life and doesn't deserve my kindness. (even though I gave them kindness after all the shit they put me through). There were times that I literally thought that I wasn't going to make it through life because I was that depressed. I also felt like a moron.
*Sigh* those times when I followed my heart when I knew my head was shaking its head no profusely.
This past fall semester I finally moved on and started living again. I finally became myself, like how I was before all the melancholy drama. Also, my boyfriend and I finally were and still are at peace, which I honestly thought we would not ever get through because of the roller coaster ride that we were constantly on. T__T
I will admit, that this person, who I once cherished deeply has made an impact on my life both in a negative and positive manner. This person, without even knowing, had a part to do with me mentally growing up. I thought I knew it all in high school, especially how to act because I was a really positive person. However, it is not until recently that I have changed for the better. I guess many people know that we have to experience the bad before we can really acknowledge and appreciate the good in our lives and in ourselves.
I am a much stronger, wiser, caring, more tough (meaning not a doormat), outspoken, beautiful inside and out and more positive person.
I DO have flaws. I can be controlling, stubborn, I interrupt when I'm arguing with someone, and I dwell on things at times that don't even matter anyone. But who doesn't do that?
So... even though this no-longer-cherished person is selfish and an inconsiderate coward, I still thank you because I don't think without all of the hardship you put me through I wouldn't be where I am today. Today, I am proud to be who I am again even much more so then in high school. And I am sure you are content in your life as well. ^__^
Anyways...
It still amazes me when I think about the people were and are currently in my life. Time is a fascinating and how someone else can affect us. Even now I am awed by the term "love," the different kinds and what it can do to someone.
I think I now just figured out as to why I am very patient and considerate... maybe because I was not in my past?
Also, I have realized that ever since I entered college I can push myself in difficult situations.
2009 started out as a shitful year, but it has ended greatly.
I expect and hope that 2010 will be a great year. I will graduate college and go wherever life will take me.
I have grown up into a woman that kind of blind-sided me lol.
Now, it's time to grow up even more and become the person who I truly want to be and not follow on the paths that others expect no matter who you are.
I am content.
I only have one New Year's resolution this year:
To not think/dwell on the past so much, but concentrate on the present and a little on the future.
Happy New Year!
xoxo
I used to dream about 2006 because that was the year I graduated from high school. I now have anticipated for 2010 because this is the year I will be graduating from college. I never thought that this year would come. It seems like since 4 years ago time has done nothing but speed at 100+ mph.
...It's crazy...
2006 turned out the be the best and the worst year because I fell out of a relationship and into a new one that has now been going on for 3 years.
I must admit that my college life wasn't what I expected it to be. I met and still am meeting new people, involved and a busy bee. But I never thought I would get as sad and upset as I did because I was determined to start a new life in college. I wanted to have fun.
But, the majority of my time during the school year was full of drama, which actually happened outside of school. Some people would not leave me alone and some people would just forget about me. I literally only had a few people who have been always there for me when I needed them the most.
Those few people know the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.
Those are the people who understand me the most and fully.
I am eternally grateful for them (and they should know who they are). ^__~
However, there was one person in my life who I cherished deeply no matter how many times they broke my heart or stomped on it and took advantage of it. It took me 3.5 years for me to learn the hard way that this person is just no good in my life and doesn't deserve my kindness. (even though I gave them kindness after all the shit they put me through). There were times that I literally thought that I wasn't going to make it through life because I was that depressed. I also felt like a moron.
*Sigh* those times when I followed my heart when I knew my head was shaking its head no profusely.
This past fall semester I finally moved on and started living again. I finally became myself, like how I was before all the melancholy drama. Also, my boyfriend and I finally were and still are at peace, which I honestly thought we would not ever get through because of the roller coaster ride that we were constantly on. T__T
I will admit, that this person, who I once cherished deeply has made an impact on my life both in a negative and positive manner. This person, without even knowing, had a part to do with me mentally growing up. I thought I knew it all in high school, especially how to act because I was a really positive person. However, it is not until recently that I have changed for the better. I guess many people know that we have to experience the bad before we can really acknowledge and appreciate the good in our lives and in ourselves.
I am a much stronger, wiser, caring, more tough (meaning not a doormat), outspoken, beautiful inside and out and more positive person.
I DO have flaws. I can be controlling, stubborn, I interrupt when I'm arguing with someone, and I dwell on things at times that don't even matter anyone. But who doesn't do that?
So... even though this no-longer-cherished person is selfish and an inconsiderate coward, I still thank you because I don't think without all of the hardship you put me through I wouldn't be where I am today. Today, I am proud to be who I am again even much more so then in high school. And I am sure you are content in your life as well. ^__^
Anyways...
It still amazes me when I think about the people were and are currently in my life. Time is a fascinating and how someone else can affect us. Even now I am awed by the term "love," the different kinds and what it can do to someone.
I think I now just figured out as to why I am very patient and considerate... maybe because I was not in my past?
Also, I have realized that ever since I entered college I can push myself in difficult situations.
2009 started out as a shitful year, but it has ended greatly.
I expect and hope that 2010 will be a great year. I will graduate college and go wherever life will take me.
I have grown up into a woman that kind of blind-sided me lol.
Now, it's time to grow up even more and become the person who I truly want to be and not follow on the paths that others expect no matter who you are.
I am content.
I only have one New Year's resolution this year:
To not think/dwell on the past so much, but concentrate on the present and a little on the future.
Happy New Year!
xoxo