(no subject)
yeah so it's recently come to my attention that people think i'm a whore? i guess? i'm sorry you feel that way. i don't really care. i know i'm not. yeah it kind of sucks when you find out that people think stuff like that about you. or when you do something and everyone finds out about it and it makes you sound like a bad person when its really not a big deal. (and i'm talking about stuff that happened MONTHS ago. don't worry. you aren't missing anything.)
my biggest fear is of people not liking me. i don't know why. i think sometimes i try too hard to make sure people like me and they end up already judging me and not even giving me a chance. i wish i could really be myself sometimes and not get so intimidated.
or in at least one case i can think of...i had something really awesome with someone and i somehow messed stuff up and they just hate me now. and then i see them every day and they're just there. but i can't talk to them. or apologize. or say anything at all to make it better. and pretty soon i just avoid them without realizing it. and i pretend i don't know them and they do the same. and when they walk by i feel like the worst person in the world. and i catch myself saying something about them or recalling something funny that they did or said...and it sucks. i hate losing people.
i hate finding out that people don't like me. and to michele in specific...i'm really sorry you think that about me. i understand where you're coming from. i really didn't know you felt that way about me. :\ i dont know how to say this without sounding absolutely stupid and stuck up and bitchy...but i'm really not a whore. i'm not like that. i just might not have made the best decision in one case. (because there's only one that i can think of that you could be referring to)...and i don't even regret the decision i made. it's in the past. whatever. i'm just not like that and made a decision that made myself look sort of bad. i don't have anything against you because you're entitled to your own opinion. i still think you're a pretty cool chick even if you don't like me. i'm just sort of disappointed that you think that about me :\
i think that's about all for now.
<3
my biggest fear is of people not liking me. i don't know why. i think sometimes i try too hard to make sure people like me and they end up already judging me and not even giving me a chance. i wish i could really be myself sometimes and not get so intimidated.
or in at least one case i can think of...i had something really awesome with someone and i somehow messed stuff up and they just hate me now. and then i see them every day and they're just there. but i can't talk to them. or apologize. or say anything at all to make it better. and pretty soon i just avoid them without realizing it. and i pretend i don't know them and they do the same. and when they walk by i feel like the worst person in the world. and i catch myself saying something about them or recalling something funny that they did or said...and it sucks. i hate losing people.
i hate finding out that people don't like me. and to michele in specific...i'm really sorry you think that about me. i understand where you're coming from. i really didn't know you felt that way about me. :\ i dont know how to say this without sounding absolutely stupid and stuck up and bitchy...but i'm really not a whore. i'm not like that. i just might not have made the best decision in one case. (because there's only one that i can think of that you could be referring to)...and i don't even regret the decision i made. it's in the past. whatever. i'm just not like that and made a decision that made myself look sort of bad. i don't have anything against you because you're entitled to your own opinion. i still think you're a pretty cool chick even if you don't like me. i'm just sort of disappointed that you think that about me :\
i think that's about all for now.
<3