when you crush hard, you fall hard.

[break_my_facade]

I have to admit that I generally like a lot of guys ... I say they're cute and that maybe they would be fun to date ... but rarely am I ever ATTRACTED to a guy ... in everyway ... not just sexually (though thats a bonus I very much enjoy) ... the only problem with me is that I am pretty much just attracted to older guys ... only this time I found one just a bit to old for me ... I mean c'mon he was 10 when I was born >.<

Tonight, most likely, was the last night I'll ever see him ... and I can tell you that it totally did not go as planned ... or fantasized (sp) rather. Which really sucks, because I really did/do like him.

I have a knack for finding the guys that won't be around for very long, are in a completely different state, only want sex, or are in other words just complete ass holes ...

What sucks most is that I have no will to date anyone at school! I'm really not all that interested in anyone there ... >.< ... I have no idea what I'm going to do when prom comes around ... I doubt I'll have a date, which will suck ass. But thats to far away to think about ...

Well... I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from crying ... I hope to a higher being that he doesn't find out I was crying tonight, because he's not stupid ... luckily (in that situation) I'll never see him again ... ... ... ...

Damn ... I want to cry again. This sucks ass like nothing else ...