(no subject)
in a pathetic attempt at a boredom buster, i pulled the white plastic box out from under my dresser . as i began rummaging aimlessly through the stack of carefully creased memories, i stumbled upon some best left forgotten. despite my efforts to hold back the tears, they came anyway.
i sat and soaked those "heartfelt" cards with what seemed like every once of water in my body. the farther down the stack i read, the harder it became to pick up the next one. but i forced myself to endure every generic word and every smiling daisy...
the one from the grandmother whom i havent seen in over 2 years, that reads: these happy wishes are full of lots of love and sent from the one who misses you most!
a summer camp copmanion signs the letter: Friends Forever, although i cannot recall her face.
the most sarcastic comes from the distant best friend: This birthday card says "happy birthday to a grea, wonderful, terrific, outstanding, fantastic person!" ::opens card to read the inside:: so what are YOU looking in here for?
then there are the ones oozing with the "youre the most wonderufl daughter we could ask for", "We love you more than you will ever know", "You can do anything if you set your mind to it", and "with you, i have a happier life than i ever thought i could have"s. i see them. and i read them. but i dont believe them.
im tired. im sick of all this nastalgia. sick of reading the cards. sick of looking through the year books. sick of those empty faces smiling back at me and mocking everything ive become.
in creative writing, we had to write a list of ten nouns and then as many verbs as we could think of that have to do with cooking. the assignment was to compose poem out of those lists. youll probably read it and laugh but ill post it anyway because im just that amazing
the sun scorched the mountains
as it simmered
beneath the hillside
summoning the mix of stars
and all the midnight sky
the wind,
it sprinkled leaves
across the baking ground
and the crescent moon
sliced through the night
with total lack of sound
the lunar bath,
it seared her skin
as she pulled the blanket tight
for nothing burned
but nothing turned
and nothing was all right