unexpected
My mother is a fucking coward. She cannot take anything. I went upstairs, to find her sleeping (what else is new) i have sleeping problems and thats all she does. I was looking for my work thing, and i find a bag packed with a note in it. I couldnt read the note really, since she was right there but it said something about going somewhere for a few days and its not our faults. My mother is running away. Why? Because my family is so fucked up. Ive become a depressed manic that freaks out about everything that drinks starbucks like its water and stays up all the time freaking out. My sister is a physco manic who needs perfection to calm her, the other one is the only normal one. My father and mY mother fight constanly, that these days it feels like there each living in their own seperate houses then just one house. Life gets tough sometimes, no one says it was easy or perfect. But running away and not dealing with shit is no way to deal with shit. Arg im already fucking depressed and now i have to run off to work where everyone says i dont smile enough. Then i have to hang out with my boyfriend later who takes my problems out on ourselves. Plus its our one year. This has just been such a LOVELY day. I fucking hate this crap. I need to take about 5 sleeping pills and just pass out after work and completly sleep through this weekend. Actually, i need to sleep through my life. I wish i could go to college this fall. Just move away and start school and be independt. Fuck, i already pretty much am. My parents dont seem to notice me when i walk in 3 hours later then i said i would be, or care very much what i do with my life. I refuse to give up though. It may seem like i am to the few people who knows what ive been going through mentally, but im not. Im trying to survive my fucked up self and my fucked up famaily.
Blah this entry, im really really depressed. Bye.
Blah this entry, im really really depressed. Bye.