boys are stupid.
*Sigh* Well, this one is just stubborn. Here, Marise, I don't usually talk too much about him, but here's the situation right now, please don't grill be about it when I get home, it makes me a little sad. It's been really nice. I'd like to think that we both like each other a good bit. Unfortunately, I'm also pretty sure I like him more than he likes me. The reason for this is, well, he's planning on doing a lot of travelling next semester. He's only got one day of classes due to a crazy snazzy schedule. Two classes and a directed study with a researching professor. And so he decided that next semester is just not going to work. I, personally, am of the opinion that he'd be gone at most half the time, I would not be seeing him that much less than this semester and I'd like to stay together, please. But I'm practical, you know? If one party wants to call it off, there's not much point in pursuing the subject. He feels that it would be unfair of him to put me in that kind of situation. And I think we're both a little leery of the idea of distance. So I accept the fact that very, very shortly, I will be single again. It's funny though. He seems to think my acceptance means that I'm ok with it. And in all honesty, I'm not really. I accept it, I don't like it. I'm of the school of thought that two people who like each other should just stay together. Why call it off if it works? I guess maybe he's afraid that if we try it out things will end up NOT working and there will be problems and drama and general badness. Call it off while it's still nice vs. wait for implosion. I'm positive there's middle line between those two, but he's made a decision and is sticking to it like glue. And I'm not going to push him about it, because 1) what's the point and 2) it's his choice to make and 3) pushing people one these things tends to result in heels digging in. I like to think that I'm respectful of people's right to make personal decisions.
The funny part is that he told me that he'd thought that maybe after all this, once we're done with school and graduation, since we're both planning on being in Boston we could get back together. But that he'd realized that it was way too far in advance to be thinking about that sort of thing. The funny thing is him thinking about it at all... Although I was kinda touched. When I expressed my general surprise (I hadn't thought about it), he told me that he LIKED me and lots of things about me. Made a joke about it-- I was a nice height, my eyes were a nice color, my cooking wasn't bad and I was getting better, and I played video games and frisbee and etc...:P Sillyness. But again, that it was much too soon to be thinking about that sort of thing.
The thing is, even as a remote possibility, as much as I've liked being with him, I'm a little hesitant about being in a relationship where it can be called off so easily by the other person. Although he said something about having wanted to put it off to the last minute-- he invited me to visit over winter break. Maybe it's not necessarily easy for him? I won't presume to know. But one of my friends put it nicely: do I really want to be in a relationship that can be called off and on at his convenience? They think that it's selfish of him to call it off and then expect me to wait for him.-- Their argument is that by even mentioning the possibility of getting back together, he is passive-aggressively asking me to wait for him-- I am not going to wait for somebody on a possibility that they will want to get back together. It is... foolish.
Anyhow, I have been thinking about all this and the reasons why it is good to call it off. Hopefully this does not come off as me trying to persuade myself. I feel pretty strongly about these. 1) I don't like being in a relationship where I'm insecure of where I stand with the other person. 2) I don't want to be in an unofficial relationship. Maybe we're unofficial because we knew it was a short-term thing but still. I deserve official status. I like to think I'm the kind of girl a guy can be proud to have. 3) I would like something more... long-term. I am not looking for forever, but I feel I have had enough casual relationships for now. I don't want forever, but I would like something that does not have a life-span of a couple of months.
The general idea of where I stand now, I think, is that, we will call it off when we both go home for winter break. None of this nonsense of having a few days at the end of break before classes start. We will not dillydally right before the beginning of a semester that has been declared off. That would just be unfair to myself. And as for past spring, well, I'm not waiting for him, although I don't intend to get involved with anybody else. It's silly to try and date other people when you still like somebody else. Even if you don't plan on getting back with that somebody else. I guess the possibility is still there, but I won't be looking for something informal and he'd have to be ok with that. And I don't know if he would want to have an actual girlfriend as opposed to the pseudo-girlfriend/friend thing. I'm assuming he won't then if he doesn't now.
So there's the scoop. I am soon-to-be single, and while not happy about it, somewhat resigned and ok with it. I plan to get a job next semester anyway. And I will be in some CRAZY classes next semester (2 grad-level courses on China, Diplomacy and Statecraft). Again, it may be just as well to not have distractions.
The funny part is that he told me that he'd thought that maybe after all this, once we're done with school and graduation, since we're both planning on being in Boston we could get back together. But that he'd realized that it was way too far in advance to be thinking about that sort of thing. The funny thing is him thinking about it at all... Although I was kinda touched. When I expressed my general surprise (I hadn't thought about it), he told me that he LIKED me and lots of things about me. Made a joke about it-- I was a nice height, my eyes were a nice color, my cooking wasn't bad and I was getting better, and I played video games and frisbee and etc...:P Sillyness. But again, that it was much too soon to be thinking about that sort of thing.
The thing is, even as a remote possibility, as much as I've liked being with him, I'm a little hesitant about being in a relationship where it can be called off so easily by the other person. Although he said something about having wanted to put it off to the last minute-- he invited me to visit over winter break. Maybe it's not necessarily easy for him? I won't presume to know. But one of my friends put it nicely: do I really want to be in a relationship that can be called off and on at his convenience? They think that it's selfish of him to call it off and then expect me to wait for him.-- Their argument is that by even mentioning the possibility of getting back together, he is passive-aggressively asking me to wait for him-- I am not going to wait for somebody on a possibility that they will want to get back together. It is... foolish.
Anyhow, I have been thinking about all this and the reasons why it is good to call it off. Hopefully this does not come off as me trying to persuade myself. I feel pretty strongly about these. 1) I don't like being in a relationship where I'm insecure of where I stand with the other person. 2) I don't want to be in an unofficial relationship. Maybe we're unofficial because we knew it was a short-term thing but still. I deserve official status. I like to think I'm the kind of girl a guy can be proud to have. 3) I would like something more... long-term. I am not looking for forever, but I feel I have had enough casual relationships for now. I don't want forever, but I would like something that does not have a life-span of a couple of months.
The general idea of where I stand now, I think, is that, we will call it off when we both go home for winter break. None of this nonsense of having a few days at the end of break before classes start. We will not dillydally right before the beginning of a semester that has been declared off. That would just be unfair to myself. And as for past spring, well, I'm not waiting for him, although I don't intend to get involved with anybody else. It's silly to try and date other people when you still like somebody else. Even if you don't plan on getting back with that somebody else. I guess the possibility is still there, but I won't be looking for something informal and he'd have to be ok with that. And I don't know if he would want to have an actual girlfriend as opposed to the pseudo-girlfriend/friend thing. I'm assuming he won't then if he doesn't now.
So there's the scoop. I am soon-to-be single, and while not happy about it, somewhat resigned and ok with it. I plan to get a job next semester anyway. And I will be in some CRAZY classes next semester (2 grad-level courses on China, Diplomacy and Statecraft). Again, it may be just as well to not have distractions.