I definitely have issues with anxiety, but I also do think I have a mild depression that flares up from time to time, and that's probably what I'm going through right now. I'm not sure that's its affected by the season, but I guess I've never closely tracked when these flare ups happen.
I've talked to a doctor about my anxiety, but it was the wrong doctor to talk to. The pills she prescribed actually made me feel worse, so I just stopped taking them. I have an appointment on the 31st to talk to my GP, so I'm hoping for better results there. It'll be a physical, but I'm specifically planning on bringing this up. I've never talked to a doctor about depression, since that is much less frequent. I will admit that I have had suicidal thoughts before, but they've always been fleeting and never anything I've taken seriously. I've never had thoughts that actually concerned me (except when I was taking the previously mentioned prescription).
I think, to an extent, part of my problem is also the people I'm surrounded by. Because I am the type of person who takes on everybody else's trouble, that ends up weighing on me a lot more than it should. So right now, my best friend is continuing to go through a rough time and won't tell me what's going on (likely to protect me, actually, but it just ends up making me worry more), my in-laws are losing the house they've lived in for 29 years and are a bit of an emotional wreck for it, and things are incredibly tense at work due to big changes on the horizon...
But, I can't just walk away from my friend. I can't be unsympathetic to what my in-laws are going through. I don't even know what to think about work, to be honest. So I guess maybe part of it is that I'm just climbing inside myself to escape reality. And maybe that feeling will pass. Because I'm looking forward to enjoying life again, rather than worrying about it all the time. I just wish that I could find something that makes me feel alive again.
I've talked to a doctor about my anxiety, but it was the wrong doctor to talk to. The pills she prescribed actually made me feel worse, so I just stopped taking them. I have an appointment on the 31st to talk to my GP, so I'm hoping for better results there. It'll be a physical, but I'm specifically planning on bringing this up. I've never talked to a doctor about depression, since that is much less frequent. I will admit that I have had suicidal thoughts before, but they've always been fleeting and never anything I've taken seriously. I've never had thoughts that actually concerned me (except when I was taking the previously mentioned prescription).
I think, to an extent, part of my problem is also the people I'm surrounded by. Because I am the type of person who takes on everybody else's trouble, that ends up weighing on me a lot more than it should. So right now, my best friend is continuing to go through a rough time and won't tell me what's going on (likely to protect me, actually, but it just ends up making me worry more), my in-laws are losing the house they've lived in for 29 years and are a bit of an emotional wreck for it, and things are incredibly tense at work due to big changes on the horizon...
But, I can't just walk away from my friend. I can't be unsympathetic to what my in-laws are going through. I don't even know what to think about work, to be honest. So I guess maybe part of it is that I'm just climbing inside myself to escape reality. And maybe that feeling will pass. Because I'm looking forward to enjoying life again, rather than worrying about it all the time. I just wish that I could find something that makes me feel alive again.
We'll see what the doctor has to say.
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