I was pretty out of it last night, so apologies for that, but I really do get that feeling. Missing people you care about, life and the world and experiences passing you by, emotions not reacting properly to circumstances...I really, really get that. I usually chalk it up to hormones, try to ride it out, and wait for the proceeding upswing, but that's probably not the best way to handle it. I wonder to myself, is it an offshoot of some mild form of depression or anxiety? Does everyone feel this way? Is it just so universal that no one bothers to talk about it or is it just that a lot of people don't stop to examine that feeling or is everyone just in denial?
Are you ever affected by SAD? I've read that September and October are particularly hard months for that sort of thing, because the sunrise/sunset schedule seems to change so drastically during this time and can mess with your personal clock, make you feel a bit off. I'm also thinking, have you been taking any more anxiety meds? I'm sure you would have already considered that if you were, but still, worth a shot.
Either way, I hope if the feeling persists for very long, you'll consider seeing someone about it, before it has a chance to get worse. In the meantime, if you ever feel like talking or even just venting, I'm around.
I feel trapped sometimes, thinking about the world passing me by while I go through my daily routine in this little corner of the country. In my more hopeful times, though, I remember that I'm still young and there's so much to do and see and I can do it and I can see it if I want to (when allowed by such prosaic constraints as vacation time and money, at least). I'm having an up morning and I've got enough optimism and nervous excitement for two people right now. I think good things are ahead for both of us, some separately and some together ('cause, I mean, there are caves waiting to be explored in western NC! CAVES!). I hope you can share that feeling with me again soon.
I definitely have issues with anxiety, but I also do think I have a mild depression that flares up from time to time, and that's probably what I'm going through right now. I'm not sure that's its affected by the season, but I guess I've never closely tracked when these flare ups happen.
I've talked to a doctor about my anxiety, but it was the wrong doctor to talk to. The pills she prescribed actually made me feel worse, so I just stopped taking them. I have an appointment on the 31st to talk to my GP, so I'm hoping for better results there. It'll be a physical, but I'm specifically planning on bringing this up. I've never talked to a doctor about depression, since that is much less frequent. I will admit that I have had suicidal thoughts before, but they've always been fleeting and never anything I've taken seriously. I've never had thoughts that actually concerned me (except when I was taking the previously mentioned prescription).
I think, to an extent, part of my problem is also the people I'm surrounded by. Because I am the type of person who takes on everybody else's trouble, that ends up weighing on me a lot more than it should. So right now, my best friend is continuing to go through a rough time and won't tell me what's going on (likely to protect me, actually, but it just ends up making me worry more), my in-laws are losing the house they've lived in for 29 years and are a bit of an emotional wreck for it, and things are incredibly tense at work due to big changes on the horizon...
But, I can't just walk away from my friend. I can't be unsympathetic to what my in-laws are going through. I don't even know what to think about work, to be honest. So I guess maybe part of it is that I'm just climbing inside myself to escape reality. And maybe that feeling will pass. Because I'm looking forward to enjoying life again, rather than worrying about it all the time. I just wish that I could find something that makes me feel alive again.
Are you ever affected by SAD? I've read that September and October are particularly hard months for that sort of thing, because the sunrise/sunset schedule seems to change so drastically during this time and can mess with your personal clock, make you feel a bit off. I'm also thinking, have you been taking any more anxiety meds? I'm sure you would have already considered that if you were, but still, worth a shot.
Either way, I hope if the feeling persists for very long, you'll consider seeing someone about it, before it has a chance to get worse. In the meantime, if you ever feel like talking or even just venting, I'm around.
I feel trapped sometimes, thinking about the world passing me by while I go through my daily routine in this little corner of the country. In my more hopeful times, though, I remember that I'm still young and there's so much to do and see and I can do it and I can see it if I want to (when allowed by such prosaic constraints as vacation time and money, at least). I'm having an up morning and I've got enough optimism and nervous excitement for two people right now. I think good things are ahead for both of us, some separately and some together ('cause, I mean, there are caves waiting to be explored in western NC! CAVES!). I hope you can share that feeling with me again soon.
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I've talked to a doctor about my anxiety, but it was the wrong doctor to talk to. The pills she prescribed actually made me feel worse, so I just stopped taking them. I have an appointment on the 31st to talk to my GP, so I'm hoping for better results there. It'll be a physical, but I'm specifically planning on bringing this up. I've never talked to a doctor about depression, since that is much less frequent. I will admit that I have had suicidal thoughts before, but they've always been fleeting and never anything I've taken seriously. I've never had thoughts that actually concerned me (except when I was taking the previously mentioned prescription).
I think, to an extent, part of my problem is also the people I'm surrounded by. Because I am the type of person who takes on everybody else's trouble, that ends up weighing on me a lot more than it should. So right now, my best friend is continuing to go through a rough time and won't tell me what's going on (likely to protect me, actually, but it just ends up making me worry more), my in-laws are losing the house they've lived in for 29 years and are a bit of an emotional wreck for it, and things are incredibly tense at work due to big changes on the horizon...
But, I can't just walk away from my friend. I can't be unsympathetic to what my in-laws are going through. I don't even know what to think about work, to be honest. So I guess maybe part of it is that I'm just climbing inside myself to escape reality. And maybe that feeling will pass. Because I'm looking forward to enjoying life again, rather than worrying about it all the time. I just wish that I could find something that makes me feel alive again.
We'll see what the doctor has to say.
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