Jan 26, 2009 02:46
I am tired, achy and pissed off. Here lately, all I've been able to do is sleep and eat. Mostly sleep. I cannot deal with this winter bullshit any longer. Every winter, I get like this. I get extremely depressed, withdrawn and lonely, and it doesn't make me feel any better when people fuck with my head, either. I am at the point where there are very few people I can even tolerate looking at, let alone talking to. Fucking sick of existing, really. I want so much to be able to quit my job and live in a cabin in a mountain somewhere. No phone or anything. No way to be contacted. And yet, I can't stand the loneliness. I will make plans to do stuff, actually WANT to go places with people and such, but then after plans are made I have second thoughts, and want to stay in and lock myself in my room again. Getting out of the house always makes me feel better but mostly, I just don't want to. I have barely even been online for a bit. I feel like I am losing touch with reality and it blows.