Maharaja's visit
Jaya, I saw my Gurudev again after 6 months on Wednesday:) It was so special, you can't imagine. He was in Tallinn from 10 to 6 only, but that was ok. Only 5 Godsisters plus myself came to see him, so the time went on darshans and in the end he gave a small lecture as well.
Ahh, he is great! He's so wise in psychology and Krishna Consciousness and philosophy, so whatever remarks he makes, they are all most meaningful and helpful to me.
He has quite radically changed his perspectives. So, now he doesn't tell me (or any of his disciples) what to do anymore, but he wants to help us become strong so we can make our own decisions and choices. He said we actually know his instructions, so now we have to internalize the KC more and become stronger as people, so we remain fixed being emotionally free at the same time - opposed to guilt trips and manipulations from others. We should know what we want and do what is necessary to achieve that, but we shouldn't do things because someone says we HAVE to do them or because someone says that otherwise we go to hell.
That was quite a shock for me, because I've always expected him to make the decisions for me. So, I guess it's time to take things to the next level now and grow up. I also whined about things, and he hinted what he'd do, although he didn't want to offer any advice. He just asked me what my goal was in life and I said it was pleasing him, and he said I should just build up from that then. The rough conclusion I made from the talk was that I should get my own apartment to free myself from the emotional grip my mother is holding on me, stop maintaining my husband, get emancipated, and create my own strong spiritual space and being that won't be intruded by mother or whoever else has negative opinions about KC. 'But don't do anything stupid,' he added, knowing how I can become submerged in bad habits when given too much freedom. He probably hinted at my drinking problem from some years ago when we had a bad week with Karuna, but then I promised him I wouldn't touch that stuff again, so it's ok.
When we were talking, I was already decorating my next flat with pictures of Krishna and Prabhupada in my mind's eye:P
Maharaja was also so awesome with Arjuna. I was so happy when Arjuna crawled to him and grabbed his foot. Maharaja also held him and shushed him:) The overall mood was very family-like. I love him.
Ahh, he is great! He's so wise in psychology and Krishna Consciousness and philosophy, so whatever remarks he makes, they are all most meaningful and helpful to me.
He has quite radically changed his perspectives. So, now he doesn't tell me (or any of his disciples) what to do anymore, but he wants to help us become strong so we can make our own decisions and choices. He said we actually know his instructions, so now we have to internalize the KC more and become stronger as people, so we remain fixed being emotionally free at the same time - opposed to guilt trips and manipulations from others. We should know what we want and do what is necessary to achieve that, but we shouldn't do things because someone says we HAVE to do them or because someone says that otherwise we go to hell.
That was quite a shock for me, because I've always expected him to make the decisions for me. So, I guess it's time to take things to the next level now and grow up. I also whined about things, and he hinted what he'd do, although he didn't want to offer any advice. He just asked me what my goal was in life and I said it was pleasing him, and he said I should just build up from that then. The rough conclusion I made from the talk was that I should get my own apartment to free myself from the emotional grip my mother is holding on me, stop maintaining my husband, get emancipated, and create my own strong spiritual space and being that won't be intruded by mother or whoever else has negative opinions about KC. 'But don't do anything stupid,' he added, knowing how I can become submerged in bad habits when given too much freedom. He probably hinted at my drinking problem from some years ago when we had a bad week with Karuna, but then I promised him I wouldn't touch that stuff again, so it's ok.
When we were talking, I was already decorating my next flat with pictures of Krishna and Prabhupada in my mind's eye:P
Maharaja was also so awesome with Arjuna. I was so happy when Arjuna crawled to him and grabbed his foot. Maharaja also held him and shushed him:) The overall mood was very family-like. I love him.