it's hard...
...to tell you without crying what it feels like to know that i'm not important, to know that after all those crazy late nights drinking coffee and talking/arguing about nothing and everything at the same time that it's not as important as something you just found. to know that the horrible porn nights and me falling asleep to movies are somehow not worth the time anymore...or maybe that they never were. just know that you were never second to him, i love you both in different ways, i just thought you understood, and i would never intentionally put him before you or vice versa. i can't even begin to tell you how it feels to discover that you don't understand when i always thought you did, and how you can't even tell me to my face when something is bothering you when we always spoke of honesty.
essentially, the hardest part about this is knowing what i've always known, but never could face and always hoped was somehow not true and realizing that it meant a lot more to me than it ever did to you.
essentially, the hardest part about this is knowing what i've always known, but never could face and always hoped was somehow not true and realizing that it meant a lot more to me than it ever did to you.