[Log] End, Part Two
Who: Giremi, Tiriana
When: Day 1, Month 5, Turn 13
Where: Giremi's Room, Telgar Weyr
What: After barely two months, Tiriana and Giremi go their separate ways.
Several hours after sleep finally claimed him, Giremi wakes close to the edge of the bed, but one foot tangled by the ankle with one of Tiriana's. It's still morning, though a bit later than the harper usually gets up, he's not in a hurry to move though, turning to look at the dark head of hair beside him. He starts to smile, seeing her there, but then sobers, the last few words exchanged between them coming back to him and instead of getting up, he slides over closer to her, running a hand along her back and breathing in the scent of her hair. His eyes press closed, naked emotion displayed on his face for a little while before he drops a kiss to her shoulder.
At that kiss, Tiriana stirs. Always a restless sleeper, but usually not this soundly out, she wakes slowly and blearily, burrowing further down in the covers for a few minutes longer while she tries to avoid actually waking up again. It's to little avail, though, and after a moment she scoots back up a little, turning her head to peer at Giremi from one eye. "Morning," is mumbled, mostly to her pillow.
"Hi," says Giremi softly, pulling his own pillow closer and bunching it half under his shoulders, half under his head, one arm hooked around it. The other stayes around Tiriana, fingers straying along the outside edge of her hip. He doesn't say anything else at first, visibly struggling to come up with the right thing to say and ultimately finds refuge in polite lameness. "Did you sleep okay? Want some breakfast? I could go get a tray."
Tiriana lifts one hand to rub her eyes, brushing sleep from them as she stretches out with the pleased expression of a sunning cat. "I'm okay," she says after a moment, shaking her head. ";Less you want something anyway?" She turns over to face him then, tangling one hand in the covers absenly. "I slept good. I think I could have slept in the middle of the bowl and been okay, though."
Giremi gets very distracted by that stretch, hand staying with her throughout and slips upward along her hip as she rolls towards him. "You'd probably have a crick in your neck though from sleeping with a rock as a pillow," he says lightly, trying for humor. More seriously: "I can always eat later. I have to go teach soon." Further hesitation makes for more silence as his eyes seek hers out but eventually he speaks the thought in his mind. "I'd rather spend the time between now and then with you."
"Faranth. Glad they don't make me do those lessons anymore," Tiriana commiserates as she gets more situated again, nose wrinkling. "And you'd be surprised--I think I still have that kid thing going, where I can sleep anywhere. It's kinda handy sometim...es." The last of that word falls a little short as she looks at him, rather warily. "Oh. Yeah. I guess you would," she finishes slowly.
"I guess most Harper lessons aren't terribly fun," he concedes with rather a weak smile. The reflection on being able to sleep anywhere causes a blush to creep into his cheeks that intensifies with the wary look and her last remark. "Is this really good-bye, Tiri?" he finally asks heavily and his hand slides up along her arm to claim her hand, fingers plucking restlessly at hers.
Tiriana snorts. "Terribly fun? Fun at /all/," she corrects them. "I hate 'em. Nothing useful about them, you know?" She shakes her head, and then glances downward, at his hand around hers and the way he fidgets. "I--yeah. I guess so," she agrees slowly. "It's better, like you said. 'Cause it's like I told you that one night, I fuck things up. So you can't fuck up what don't exist anymore."
"I'll argue with you about that another --" Giremi breaks off suddenly and his face turns into his pillow, smothering breath that's suddenly coming too fast. When he re-emerges his eyes are suspiciously bright. "I don't want to give up," he says stubbornly and threads his fingers between hers now, drawing her hand up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of it. "I could try harder not to mind," he says a little desperately, "when you do ... when you ..." That breaks off midstream and in spite of the bandaging on his injured hand, he tries to slip both arms around her and pull her close.
Tiriana doesn't resist when he pulls her close, resting her chin against his shoulder while she studies the far wall. "You can't change things like that," she says finally, in a very controlled voice. "How you feel 'n' stuff. 'N' sometimes it's like... I guess backing out's not bad all the time."
Giremi might just be trembling a little at first, but her words still him. "I guess not," he murmurs softly, though he hasn't released his hold on her. A long silence stretches forth and then he finally murmurs in a choked voice: "I'll miss you, Tiri." His face turns into her neck, a few warm kisses pressed there to every spot he's found in the last two months that seemed to please her the most, his good hand closing on the fabric of her shirt and balling it up tightly, unwilling just yet, to let her go.
Tiriana frowns, sliding her face down until it's buried in his shoulder again while he kisses her neck, her hands sliding over him as well. "Yeah. I--I guess I'm back to no friends now," she says, joking tone falling flat. "I'll... I'll see you around, then." Though she doesn't move yet herself.
"I'm still your friend, Tiri. Even if my stupid heart's in the way." Giremi's voice, ragged, sounds near her ear. When her face slips down into his shoulder, the harper's arms close tightly around her again. "If you really need me, I'll be here." He gives her a hard squeeze then leans back a little, fingers smoothing stray curls out of her face so he can look down into her eyes again. A moment's hesitation holds him back before he's trying to kiss her, everything he feels, everything he's held back from saying in so many words in the strength of that kiss.
"I know," says Tiriana. "But--I won't." Earnestly, she looks back up at him, and then finds herself kissing him. If he and his feelings are entirely open to her in that moment, she's more distant than she's probably ever been, tightly restrained from the way she kisses him to the set of her shoulders as she pulls herself away finally, moving to break away from his hold and stand and redress herself in the same, ever more rumpled clothes of the day before. "So--goodbye," she tells him, with effort.
It's her restraint likely, that loosens his hold on her and he draws back, not bothering to check the slow tears that spill out of his eyes. Instead, he rolls away too, collecting his pants from the floor and pulling them on rather abruptly, then he sits on the edge of the bed for a moment, wiping furiously at his eyes. Finally he rises again and walks her to the door, one hand on the handle to open it for her. Blotchy-faced and clearly miserable, he stands there fingers tightening on the handle before he finally manages to turn it, crack the door open.
Tiriana doesn't quite meet those teary eyes as she turns and takes very measured steps toward the door that he, eventually, manages to open just far enough for her to slip through. That's about as far as her own restraint gets her, hands fisting as she takes off at a half-run down the halls, with no sense of destination apparent.
Behind her, the door shuts with a slight bang and though she can't see, Giremi's back leans against it and then he slowly slides down the length of it to sit helplessly on the floor, shoulders shaking with silent sobs that rattle the door a little. It takes the harper quite a while to put himself together enough to get up, wash, put on fresh clothing and go teach class, red-eyed and distant where he's usually attentive with his students. Over the next few days, a pattern becomes apparent in his behavior: he avoids the living cavern like the plague, spending all of his spare time in the Records Room or in his quarters, taking all of his meals there. At night, his door is firmly locked, though whether he's sleeping at all is highly debatable given how awful he looks.