[Vignette] Liar
Liar. The word kept cropping up again as E'sere sat there in the doorway, knees pulled up, forearms laid across them. Liar. Liar, liar, pants on fire. He nearly giggled as the singsong rhyme from his childhood popped into his head. She loved him.
How did he end up in these situations? Sometimes he wondered if he knew anything at all about politics. Rule #1: never sleep with your boss's daughter. Rule #2: never sleep with anyone who can kill you. Rule #3: never... Well. The first two rules pretty much covered everything, E'sere decided. Who needed a #3?
Morelenth? He reached out slowly for the bronze's mind, just enough to touch him. He felt the dragon turn his attention to him, focusing his mind on his rider.
I'm in deep shit.
Silence on the other end. Expectant silence, waiting watchfulness on the part of the wary bronze.
She loves me. I knew--I suspected--before, but I didn't want it to be true. This is trouble, Morelenth, E'sere said, picking over every word carefully, keeping his mental voice as even as he could. It's a lot easier to hurt her if she loves me--you saw what she did when I talked to another girl while we had already broken up. She'll end up killing me still. Especially if Derek decides to order it.
Still silence. Payback, perhaps, for all those sermons that E'sere had ignored.
Still, after another moment of silence, he continued, I have to ingratiate myself with him. I've been trying, but... It's not working. I don't understand; I haven't been anything but nice, but polite, to him since I arrived. Who /doesn't/ like that?
I could be honest with him, I suppose. Telling, probably, that this idea only now occurred to E'sere. But what do I tell him then? He wouldn't even believe me. It must be too late now to change tracks. And J'lor--he doesn't trust me, either. I need to fix that, too.
But--Morelenth, she loves me.
She loves me. I never intended that. Was I ever so stupid as to think it could end up any other way, though? Does it ever end up any other way?
But she knows me. None of the rest of them do. Maybe she doesn't, either, in the end, but she knows what I've done, and that's more than they can say. She understands why. If anything, she's worse than me. Isn't she? Does it matter, in the end? Where does it go from here?
Do I do the only thing I know, and force her to kill me for the things Mother stands for? Or--I don't know what else there is, except that. I don't even know what the Instigators stood for then, let alone now. There's no place for me in either world.
<< There's one in hers, >> Morelenth finally broke his silence. E'sere just stared at him, jarred from his self-pity.
Can you get more cliche? he asked finally. Morelenth looked sheepish.
<< You know what I mean, >> the dragon said, rustling his wings. << You don't have to know everything, E'sere. Just... the basics. They want a world where people like your family don't rule just because they were born to it, but because they really, truly deserve it. Isn't that what you want, E'sere? To be able to be your own person, without Vasyath's having to hold you up? You can do that, with them. Is it really so bad, Aivey loving you? >>
She wants things from me, E'sere said finally, that I don't think I have to give.
Morelenth was silent again. After several moments, it made E'sere uneasy enough to ask, What?
<< I'm trying to think of something not-cliche to say, >> was the droll reply.
E'sere rolled his eyes good-naturedly. I need somebody to go to for good love advice, he complained.
<< You could always try Kasvatuth's. >>
I'm going to bed. E'sere retreated quickly on that note, though he had to add, Though, tying her up sounds like it might have potential.
<< You have to untie her eventually, E'sere. >>
I'm going to bed now, E'sere repeated quickly, as he slipped in beside Aivey, arm automatically sliding around her. He was silent a moment while he got situated. Then: Thanks, Morelenth.
<< You're my rider. Even if you are an ass, >> said Morelenth, fondly. << We'll figure it all out soon. Sleep. >>
It took some time for E'sere to shut his mind down completely, but eventually, he slept.
How did he end up in these situations? Sometimes he wondered if he knew anything at all about politics. Rule #1: never sleep with your boss's daughter. Rule #2: never sleep with anyone who can kill you. Rule #3: never... Well. The first two rules pretty much covered everything, E'sere decided. Who needed a #3?
Morelenth? He reached out slowly for the bronze's mind, just enough to touch him. He felt the dragon turn his attention to him, focusing his mind on his rider.
I'm in deep shit.
Silence on the other end. Expectant silence, waiting watchfulness on the part of the wary bronze.
She loves me. I knew--I suspected--before, but I didn't want it to be true. This is trouble, Morelenth, E'sere said, picking over every word carefully, keeping his mental voice as even as he could. It's a lot easier to hurt her if she loves me--you saw what she did when I talked to another girl while we had already broken up. She'll end up killing me still. Especially if Derek decides to order it.
Still silence. Payback, perhaps, for all those sermons that E'sere had ignored.
Still, after another moment of silence, he continued, I have to ingratiate myself with him. I've been trying, but... It's not working. I don't understand; I haven't been anything but nice, but polite, to him since I arrived. Who /doesn't/ like that?
I could be honest with him, I suppose. Telling, probably, that this idea only now occurred to E'sere. But what do I tell him then? He wouldn't even believe me. It must be too late now to change tracks. And J'lor--he doesn't trust me, either. I need to fix that, too.
But--Morelenth, she loves me.
She loves me. I never intended that. Was I ever so stupid as to think it could end up any other way, though? Does it ever end up any other way?
But she knows me. None of the rest of them do. Maybe she doesn't, either, in the end, but she knows what I've done, and that's more than they can say. She understands why. If anything, she's worse than me. Isn't she? Does it matter, in the end? Where does it go from here?
Do I do the only thing I know, and force her to kill me for the things Mother stands for? Or--I don't know what else there is, except that. I don't even know what the Instigators stood for then, let alone now. There's no place for me in either world.
<< There's one in hers, >> Morelenth finally broke his silence. E'sere just stared at him, jarred from his self-pity.
Can you get more cliche? he asked finally. Morelenth looked sheepish.
<< You know what I mean, >> the dragon said, rustling his wings. << You don't have to know everything, E'sere. Just... the basics. They want a world where people like your family don't rule just because they were born to it, but because they really, truly deserve it. Isn't that what you want, E'sere? To be able to be your own person, without Vasyath's having to hold you up? You can do that, with them. Is it really so bad, Aivey loving you? >>
She wants things from me, E'sere said finally, that I don't think I have to give.
Morelenth was silent again. After several moments, it made E'sere uneasy enough to ask, What?
<< I'm trying to think of something not-cliche to say, >> was the droll reply.
E'sere rolled his eyes good-naturedly. I need somebody to go to for good love advice, he complained.
<< You could always try Kasvatuth's. >>
I'm going to bed. E'sere retreated quickly on that note, though he had to add, Though, tying her up sounds like it might have potential.
<< You have to untie her eventually, E'sere. >>
I'm going to bed now, E'sere repeated quickly, as he slipped in beside Aivey, arm automatically sliding around her. He was silent a moment while he got situated. Then: Thanks, Morelenth.
<< You're my rider. Even if you are an ass, >> said Morelenth, fondly. << We'll figure it all out soon. Sleep. >>
It took some time for E'sere to shut his mind down completely, but eventually, he slept.